A Favor to Ask

Hi there! If you're reading this, I have a favor to ask. You see, I've moved my blog to my new website. You can get the same quality writing, fun photos, and other joyful silliness over there, I promise!

So, the favor: will you please click over and "follow" me at my new home?

If you're already a follower of this blog via Google or the RSS feed, please make the update now, while you're thinking about it. The new address is http://www.starcatscorner.com.

If you're seeing this on Facebook via NetworkedBlogs, I hope you'll follow me there.

Thanks so much in advance! I look forward to seeing you over at Starcat's Corner. Pour your favorite beverage, settle into a comfy spot, and let's get caught up. Blessings!

I've Moved!

Hi there, faithful reader. I have a cool surprise for you. This blog, Starcat's Study, can now be found over on my brand new website, Starcat's Corner! Find it here: http://www.starcatscorner.com

The reason for the move is that with my new book, Starcat's Corner: Essays on Pagan Living, coming out soon, I thought it should have its very own home and direct link.

I hope you'll come visit, follow the blog, and join the community! Upcoming posts over there include: this week's Starcat's Favorites, the story of how we got the awesome new banner photo (which involved an afternoon feline photo shoot!), and how I'm learning to receive the gifts of the Universe.

I'm so thankful to BlackLion for building the awesome new site for me, and teaching me how to update it. Also my thanks go to Merlin Lovecat, for cooperating with the impromptu cat photo shoot, and to ElvenTiger for helping with that process. Thanks, cool cats!

See you on the other side!

A Blast From the Past

In the process of writing the preface for my book (yeah, it's Starcat's Corner: Essays on Pagan Living, hope you're not sick of hearing about it yet! hee hee), I was looking back over my journal from 2005, getting back in the mindset of my adventure at Vermont Witch Camp, which was when the book was first inspired. I decided to go back and read that entire journal, as it seemed to have been a time of great transformation and inspiration for me. I feel like I'm on the cusp of that type of radical positive change once again. I'm wrapped in my chrysalis, sometimes doubting I'll ever truly be a butterfly, but still catching dream glimpses of flight and deep blue skies.

So, this particular passage seemed especially relevant, and I thought I'd share it here. I even looked up the Rob Brezsny horoscope that I reference in the journal entry (thank you Rob for your awesome archives!).

Virgo, 10/6/05, by Rob Brezsny:
In his "MuseLetter," Richard Heinberg writes that Jesus "taught renunciation of ephemeral desires, fearless and carefree public behavior, and contempt for riches." This happens to be a precise prescription for those of you who hope to put yourself in maximum alignment with cosmic rhythms in the coming week. I suggest you suspend your pursuit of the relatively trivial goals that soak up an inordinate amount of your attention, and instead intensify your devotion to your single most important reason for living. This should help you lose your unnecessary inhibitions. It should also free you from any delusions you might have that greed is normal or that you need more than enough of anything.

Journal entry, 10/6/05, by Starcat:
My Brezsny horoscope for this week tells me to let go of distractions and focus on the primary reason I'm here. To which I was like, what? I have to choose just one?! Five of them immediately came to mind: to give and receive love (not just among humans, but all beings), to project positive energy to help with the birthing of the new reality, healing/Reiki, writing, and music (dancing, singing, drumming). How do I focus in on "the" thing, then? Or maybe the primary thing is my attitude, the way I am in the world, my mindfulness practice. I tend to get distracted by connection points, by relationships with other people, especially new people. But I should just be myself and do my Work, and let the rest take care of itself as I go. Which is, I guess, what Brezsny was saying.

Last night I was dreaming that I was soon to die, and I knew it. I was doing fine with it until I met some new people, one of them who, I think it was a guy but he was very androgynous, turned me on. Then I was talking to my Mom in the dream, telling her it was so unfair that I was going to die, because I couldn't make plans with this guy (and his friends) and get to know him/them. So even my dream was focused on that, on the balance between doing my Soul Work in the time I have, and being in relationship with others. The Work I'm called to do has elements of both, which is good, because I believe in "moderation in all things."

The things that stuck out from the entry were that the very things I listed as my "primary reasons" are now what I do much of the time! Writing, music (drumming in particular), and Reiki are a big part of my life, and the work I do for Feline Dreamers is all about helping bring the new consciousness to fruition. It feels good to see how I've been able to manifest my calling on so many levels. Sometimes it still feels like I'm only beginning. The other thing that I noticed is that I still feel this tension between relationships and inner creative work. It's one of the things I'm really working on intently lately.

I'm thankful that I keep these records of and for myself. I would never remember all this stuff otherwise. And I'm also grateful for the inspiration to do a bit of "journal mining," which comes from an excellent book I read recently, Harvesting Your Journals: Writing Tools to Enhance Your Growth & Creativity by Alison Strickland and Rosalie Deer Heart. Blessings!

Giving Myself a Boost

My back is feeling much better, thanks for asking! The all-natural cure included time, gentle yoga, rest, Reiki, heat and cold, and swimming. ElvenTiger gave me a great massage, too. She's got the healing touch, for certain. I'm really enjoying July thus far. I overdid it in June - I just had too much running around to do and too many events. It was fun, but simply too much. July is proceeding at a much more enjoyable pace. I'm resting, and healing (on several levels).

That's not to say I'm completely in vacation mode. I'm actually very excited about having stretches of time to work on my writing and other creative projects. And being a Virgo, I love to plan and organize. I've been intrigued by a writing challenge that one of my online friends is involved in. It's called A Round of Words in 80 Days. I was thinking of joining, but I just missed this particular round (which started July 1st), so I'm going to wait and see if I feel like leaping in this fall.

In the meantime, I just started reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, and immediately fell in love with the whole idea. The daily journal-writing practice that I already do is adapted from this book, and the whole thing is a 12-week course on writing and spirituality, two of my favorite things! I'm in.

I think it'll give me a boost and open up my creative channels even more. It'll also help me with prioritizing my creativity. Often I get caught up in the cycle of the kids' activities, housework, cooking, outdoor fun, my part-time money-making gigs, etc. and find my craft on the back burner. I want to bump it higher up on the daily priority list. So be it!

Starcat's Favorites: Slowing Down

I'm sitting in a comfy chair, hot water bottle on my lower back, laptop on my lap, summer breezes caressing me through the open windows. It's a very slowed-down version of the Friday I had planned. Yesterday I hurt my lower back. This is a new one for me. I know lots of people who have back troubles, but mine has been blessedly healthy until now. I'm not even sure what happened. I went strawberry picking, but I sat down in the rows to pick, rather than bending over, so why would that do something to these core muscles? I think perhaps my body is just enforcing the message it has been giving me recently: it's time to freaking slow down. Seriously. So now I'm informed, in a very emphatic way. I'm listening.

Here are my favorites from this week. Despite a fairly busy week (up until today), there are quite a few to share. I hope you can take the time to slow down, receive, and be inspired, in whatever way you please. Have a peaceful weekend!

Love this treatise on how to actively adore yourself. Go you!

The title and opening lines of this one cracked me up, and then its deeper message sank in.

Being you. That's what it's all about.

You're doing your best. And yes, that is marvelously enough.

When you're in an especially busy patch, that's when you need even more nurturing. Here are some suggestions.

Ooh, I totally want to declare a Dream Day! Anyone else drawn to this?

For my fellow writers and artists, here's an article about the new way of getting the word out.

How to follow through on a meaningful goal. Keep on keeping on!

And last but not least, 100 Things to Do Instead of Procrastinating on the Internet. Ironic, eh? Heh heh.

My Half-Year Check-In

Is it hard for you to believe that we're already halfway through 2012? It is for me. So I thought I'd do a check-in on how I'm doing with my goals for this year. Not in a judgemental way (or at least, I'll try not to be that way), but more to see what's going well and how my focus could be fine-tuned for the rest of the year.

Air: I'm doing awesome with my writing! In particular, my book is now in production (I still just love saying that). That said, I have many more writing projects that want my attention. I want to put more focus on those. My music (which I'll put here, with creative stuff) is going well. Drumming with Dark Follies is fun and such a terrific learning experience. I took a cool art class at our homeschool co-op this spring, and want to do more with it. We have our homeschool portfolio review in a couple of weeks, and I think things are going pretty well in that area. I haven't gotten to the prose poem or studying yogic texts yet this year, though my studies in general are going along well.

Fire: I would say that I'm definitely making progress with my callings. As noted above, becoming a published author is going along well. I also secured a spot as a guest blogger on a very popular spirituality website; my post will appear in August (the first of many, I hope!). We're still working on getting the word out about Feline Dreamers; I get discouraged sometimes with the slow progress, but most of the time I just keep on building towards it. I'm definitely working on my self-love, though I am reminded to dive back into the use of affirmations, which I haven't been doing as much. I'm also doing well on releasing things that don't serve me. I think there is a teensy problem with the idea of only agreeing to things which feel like a passionate "yes!" - there are just too many of them! I need to slow down a bit and try not to do so much.

Water: Here's an area where the slowing down will help me to go deeper. I want to pay much more attention to self-nurturing, intuition, and connection to my guides. I do have a dream journal project planned which is going to be really fun (more on that in another post). I have been using my empathy to help community members in various ways, mostly in one-on-one settings, so that's going along well.

Earth: I've been loving the time I've spent out in nature this spring and summer thus far! Very grounding and energizing. Barefoot hiking is just so much fun, and so is doing my journal-writing practice outdoors. I have been bringing in little bits of money from my calling, but mostly it's been other work-for-money. I still need to make a big leap in the area of abundance. The same with health. I've made some progress, but then I revert to old habits (comfort food, for example) and forget to really listen to what my body is telling me. Some work to do here, for sure.

Spirit: My spiritual practices are going pretty well. Sometimes I forget. Don't we all? But for the most part, connection and presence are part of my daily life. I've been able to spend lovely time in sacred space, particularly with my Full Moon circlemates. I haven't done much yoga lately, and I want to get back to it. Shrines, altars, and the Wheel of the Year project are some other things that want my attention.

Well, that sounds about right as a mid-year update. I think the idea of slowing down and putting my focus on the quieter elements of water and earth will be helpful as I move into the second half of the year. I'm feeling the groove starting to shift, and connecting with those deeper energies. Mmmm. I like it.

How are you doing with your personal goals and intentions for 2012? How can you build on what you've been doing so far? What adjustments will help you be your best self?

Book Work and Hiking

Today, thanks to a conversation with a friend who asked just the right question, I reserved the domain name for a new website. I was telling him about my book contract, and he wanted to know if I had a website for it yet. Aha! I didn't, but I soon will. I reserved www.starcatscorner.com (don't visit just yet, it's still a blank canvas) as soon as I got home. One of BlackLion's favorite tools for living your dreams is that if you have an inspired idea, act on it right away, even if it's just a small step. So I did! As well as a place to promote and sell the book, I'm thinking I'll also use that site to host this blog - once I get it built, that is. It's starting to take shape in my head already. I'm no graphic designer, but I do have a feel for what sort of "look" I want. It'll be fun to dream about it for a while.

Book work this week has consisted of asking for endorsements. You know, the blurbs on the back cover that entice you to open the tome? Or at any rate, entice bookstore owners to put the book on their shelves. I have three authors who have said yes, and a couple more very promising contacts. I'll tell you more once things are firmed up. It's been so exciting to do stuff towards the book! It's like, now that my childhood dream of being published is underway, the opportunities to succeed as an author are multiplying! I think I blasted past an old belief, into a whole new realm of possibilities.

So, next is some time in nature, with one of my favorite people. Quester and I are heading up north to celebrate our anniversary, starting tomorrow. Last weekend I had a chance to sit in a lovely park full of oaks and do my journal writing for the day (while waiting for our outdoor drum practice to get underway). It was so refreshing and delightful, and it reminded me that perhaps I've been indoors too much this spring. This week we're going to do some hiking, probably sit around a campfire, and just enjoy nature and each other's company. I'm very thankful!

Why Drumming Helps With My Writing

Feline Drummers at the Watch City Festival in Waltham, MA

5/12/12

photo by Jennifer Wright Owen

Elven Tiger and I are taking a drawing class at our homeschool co-op, based on the book "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" by Betty Edwards. At this point in my life, I've done lots of meditation, yoga, and other practices that enable me to enter the alpha state at will. So I'm finding it relatively easy to slip into that right-brain mode as I draw, even though I'm far from an accomplished artist. I'm having fun sketching, with no expectations about the outcome.

In recent years I've become pretty pleased with my writing ability. (It still makes me squirm a bit to even say something like that - but I've got a book contract, so I guess I can toot my own horn just a bit). Of course, there's always room for improvement, and that's part of the fun of the writing craft. Interestingly, the thing that has had the biggest impact on my writing lately is my drumming.

I started playing the djembe a few years ago. Self-taught (aside from a couple of workshops here and there), sitting round the fire, groovin' in a hippie drum circle sort of way. Then BlackLion and I got asked to drum for the first Dark Follies street performance in 2008. At first playing with Dark Follies was perfect for our improv-style messing around, but then some of the dancers wanted something a bit more traditional. Other drummers came in, and one excellent drummer, Stephen, became the lead musician. He's done a lot of training and practice, and it shows. The quality of Dark Follies' music improved. At that point BlackLion and I almost quit, both because of our lack of experience with the more traditional tunes, and also because we got busy with other things, like writing and creating offerings and wares for our business.

BlackLion had done more drumming than me, so he wasn't really intimidated. I was frustrated with my seeming inability to remember the various beats by name. "We'll play a slow maqsum, then transition into masmoodi" sounded Greek to me. My left brain just wasn't getting it - but if they could show me the riff, I could play along with no problem. With BlackLion's urging, and being drawn in by the cool folks in the troupe, we got more involved again last year.

This fall, our fearless leader decided that we should form a real band, and add melodic instruments. Thus we became the Dark Follies Not Just Rhythm Orchestra. It's been a truly incredible learning experience! I love playing with a band. I've never considered myself a musician - that was always Quester's realm, and BlackLion's. But now I'm feeling it. And the lessons I've learned are invaluable in boosting my other creative pursuits - including my biggest passion, writing. How?

Well, what I've struggled with most in becoming a "real" drummer is the connection between the left brain and the right brain. Both are needed in this gig. The right brain stuff is easy for me. I can keep the beat and get into the groove (Quester tells me that keeping a steady beat is a fairly rare talent, but I just feel it in my body and go with it). The left brain connection to that has been a challenge - learning the various beats by name, primarily. When I say a challenge, I mean one of those fun brain-bending "I can do this, I know I can!" sort of challenges. And it seems to be working! The connection with writing is that it's becoming easier for me to move from the idea phase, where I'm imagining a piece and brainstorming its components (right brain), to the actual execution of it (left brain).

I feel like I'm a symphony, sometimes, as I open up and creatively express what's in my heart. And whether my composition is made up of words or drumbeats, I'm in the moment, awake and aware, yet deeply immersed in the flow. I have a long way to go with my music, but again, that's part of the fun of the craft. I'm excited about the expansion and discovery - and delighted that all parts of my life are being uplifted in the process.

Enjoying the Creative Life

I feel like things are really on a roll here at Starcat's Study. I've been calling myself a writer for a long time, and have blogged and published articles in small newsletters. Recently we've completed some big projects at Feline Dreamers, too, and that's been excellent.

But it's only within the past few weeks that I've felt like I'm really getting some wider readership of my creative work. And it feels great! The best part so far has been the messages I've received about how my story has touched various individuals, and had a positive impact on their path. I love that! It's not why I write, I write because I'm called to, but connecting with others through my chosen art form is high up there on the list of benefits.

So I thought I'd share some links with you, give you some uplifting reading for the weekend, and update you on some projects that are in the works. Please feel free to pass them along to those who might be interested!

My article "Surrounded by Love: Our Alternative Family" was just published in the March edition of Rethinking Everything, an online magazine. This was a tough one to write and share, but I'm so glad I did. It's been resonating with folks in a way that makes me feel warmth in my heart. You can find the issue here (click on the words "read it" - and you may then need to download it as a .pdf file). Please do sign up for the magazine, too - a subscription is free and each issue is thought-provoking and high-quality.

I also write for another online publication called Miss Millennia Magazine. This month's issue is all about women entrepreneurs, and my piece is on the front page. It's called "Entrepreneurs Offer New Age of Spiritual Growth."

BlackLion and I have been sharing some of our co-written articles on a website called Spiritual Now. Our most popular one so far is "7 Principles of a Purpose-Based Life," which you can find here (you might recognize the person in the picture we included!).

As far as "in the works" projects, I have a book proposal that's in process with a publisher (squeeeee!!), for my "Starcat's Corner: Essays on Pagan Living" collection. BlackLion and I are recording brand-new guided meditations for a CD we're creating. I have several shorter articles in the works, at least one of which I plan to submit as a guest post to one of my new favorite spirituality blogs. And of course, although it's been on the back burner a bit lately, I'm still slowly working on the e-book on developing a daily spiritual practice.

Life is full and joyful and busy. I hope you're enjoying your weekend. Happy reading!

The Day That Wasn't

Happy Leap Day! I saw a funny photo on Facebook this morning, of a door to a business where the owners had posted a notice that since February 29th "isn't a real day," they would be closed for the day and re-open on March 1st. I thought it was a pretty cool idea!

However, since I have plans for today that would be challenging to alter, I think I'll make tomorrow my own personal "day that wasn't." It's supposed to snow here, after a winter without much of the white stuff, and our homeschool co-op has already been canceled. So tomorrow I'm going to enjoy a "time outside of time" kind of day.

I have some creative projects that have been wanting attention, and I'm very excited to give them some. I'll be working on text for our guided meditation CD, phase two of my Starcat's Corner book proposal, and a guest blog to submit to one of my new favorite websites, among other projects. Maybe I'll finally make my vision board for 2012! I've been too busy living it to put it on paper, thus far anyway.

I hope you enjoy your own version of the day that wasn't, whenever you decide to discover it!

The Limelight

This Thursday, I'm coming out. Nope, I'm not gay. But I do have two love partners. Most of those who know me either know this already or have probably figured it out. If you don't know me, you may be saying "so what?" or "huh?" or "what does that mean, exactly?" I haven't written about it much up until now, not really wanting it to be the defining characteristic of my online presence. I also value my privacy, and it's not really anyone's business what my relationships are like.

But, thanks to a gentle nudge from an editor I'm acquainted with online, I've written an article called "Surrounded by Love: Our Alternative Family." It's going to be published on Thursday in an online magazine called Rethinking Everything. I'm feeling very excited, and a perhaps a bit nervous. It's not like it's going to be in Good Housekeeping or on Oprah, but still. I've been working on the article for several months now (off and on), and the cool thing is, I'm very pleased with how it came out. If you're interested in reading it, you can sign up for the free magazine at this link.

Journal Writing and Self Expression

I've been teaching a journal-writing class at our homeschool co-op. I've been a journal keeper for years and years, and have written about it a bit, but never taught a class before. It's been a lot of fun putting together the classes and exercises. I'm thinking of teaching the class for a potentially larger audience, maybe as an adult-ed offering first, to fine-tune it further, and then perhaps as an online course. The topic matter would be an easy one to do online. I could make videos and provide worksheets and readings (and a playlist for the class where we wrote to various types of music, which the girls seemed to enjoy).

It's a topic I know a lot about, and have experience with, and one that I don't really need credentials for, other than my years of hands-on practice. What do you think? Would any of you be interested in such a course? Leave a comment or drop me a line.

I'm still gaining experience as a heart-centered entrepreneur, and want to find things that will serve a need as well as help me with making a living. I really want to make this work! I have no shortage of ideas, it's just a matter of 1. finding topics that fill a need, 2. finding the people who are interested in them, and 3. making time to create them. I can handle #3 with no problem. I'm still working on the others. In the meantime, I'm letting my creative energies flow.

P.S. Thanks for all the good wishes, prayers, and energies for Merlin cat! I truly appreciate it and am very touched by the response. He is doing well today and sleeping a lot. He loves it when we cuddle him and give him Reiki. Sweet cat boy.

Sharing the Joy of Journals

This fall, ElvenTiger and I joined a newly-formed homeschool co-op group in our area. Well, the whole family is a part of it, really, but we're the ones who have gotten involved so far. ElvenTiger's taking classes in basket-weaving and cooking, and next session will be helping teach a knitting class. She loves it.

I'm having fun too, helping with the cooking class, meeting new friends, and learning how to hula hoop. Next session I'm offering a class on journaling. I've been keeping journals since I was a kid, and doing daily journal writing since 1997. I just love it! Journaling helps me practice my writing craft, capture memories of our daily life, gain deep insights into who I am and who I'm becoming, explore my dreams, and work through my emotions. I currently keep a dream journal, a personal journal, and a Tarot journal.

It's also fun creating a class in which to share my passion for journal-keeping. I'm choosing journal entries from authors and historical figures to share (for inspiration), finding exercises to get class members writing, and gathering resources to share. Once I see how the class goes, perhaps I'll gather my favorite parts into a journaling workshop to offer to the public.

To Blog or Not to Blog...

...daily, that is. I recently found out about NaBloPoMo, which stands for National Blog Posting Month, and the challenge is to write a blog entry every day. A couple of friends who have cool blogs have joined in, and so I'm contemplating whether I want to do the same. The rules are simple: "Post something every day for a month. That's all you have to do." And the theme for October is "Between," which sounds magickal and right up my alley. So what's a cat to do?

The pros: I've done something like this before, a couple years ago, with BlackLion, and it was fun. I already write every day, so sharing some of that with the world would be valuable, and more practice is always good. I recently read that in order to master something, you need to put in 10,000 hours. I've probably done that with journal writing, but certainly not (yet) with blogging as a specific art form. The writing prompts provided on the NaBloPoMo website look intriguing. It would get me posting more often, and probably taking photos more often, too.

The cons: Just one, really: posting EVERY day. No matter how busy I get. Eeek!

Well, I'll continue to contemplate, and keep posting. Nothing to lose! Either way I'm writing more and connecting with you, my Dear Readers!

Getting the Word Out

I'm a writer. I write mostly non-fiction articles, essays, and books on spirituality and learning to live consciously. And that's how I want to earn a living, or at least contribute to my family's financial needs. It sounds simple, huh? I even have confidence in my art. I've been practicing for a long time, I have interesting things to say, and I think that lots of people would like to read what I write.

The thing is, how do I get the word out? The traditional "submit to a literary agent or publisher" route is one of my avenues, certainly, although it's well known for only being rarely accessible, and the online world has changed everything. For our Feline Dreamers business, BlackLion and I are trying various social networking, viral marketing type ventures, but we don't really know much about marketing, so we're mostly feeling around in the dark. We'd like to increase our audience from the low hundreds to, oh, millions, ideally! Most of the "write online articles for money" gigs that I've found are only interested in topics I either know nothing about or sound deadly boring. That's a sure way to kill creativity.

Just recently, I've had two magazines interested in having me write an article for them. Not huge magazines, but respectable and hip. So that's the next step. After mulling ideas over in my head (always my first step), I'm in the process of sitting down to create the first drafts. This could lead to something big! It's another step towards my writing goals. What am I afraid of?

New Moon in June

Happy New Moon, and month of June! Around here, the weather has been just lovely this week, after a bunch of rain. We have some fun gatherings to attend (and host) this month. The first one is coming up this weekend, which is the wedding of a very special couple. I'm delighted and honored to be participating in the ceremony. I'm calling Water, but I'll be careful not to ask for rain, since the handfasting portion of the day is being held outside.

The new moon brings the energy of new beginnings and exploration. According to Starsdance Astrology's blog, this particular new moon is a good time to explore one's deepest desires. And according to my Rob Brezsny horoscope, the coming weeks are a perfect time for me to do things which I've been told just can't be done. Which is what? It's quite obvious, in my case - I've been told repeatedly that I can't make a living as a writer, and I had the misfortune of believing it. I guess I'll be focused on submitting more of my writings this month. I'm trying various avenues: looking for a literary agent, sending letters directly to publishers, and submitting articles to magazines. Time to ramp it up!

Hope is easier to find at this time of year, and as the moon waxes. I'll polish off my finest literary gems and share them with the world, as well as carefully cutting some new ones. In between, of course, gardening workshops, a big anniversary, family potlucks, a milestone birthday celebration for an old friend, and a fireside gathering or two. Summer's here! Who wants to play?

P.S. Here's a little more inspiration, for the road. Enjoy!

A Poem for Joy

I wrote a poem for my friend Joy, based on her writing prompt. It seems this is National Poetry Month. So I reached within and captured this glimpse of where I am at this moment...subject to change at will!

Nikki,
Transforming, becoming, allowing, in motion.
Who loves creating, dancing, being.
Who feels open, inspired, overwhelmed.
Who gives comfort, smiles, and stillness.
Who fears chaos, anger, and loss.
Who seeks wisdom, peace, and understanding -
Alive, transforming, whole -
I am Starcat, Dreamer.

The Study: A Background

I’ve had a few readers ask about the notion of “unschooling my Masters’ degree” that I spoke about in an earlier post. After some thought, I realized that I’ve been doing so for years now, and just hadn’t recognized it as such. I’m still not sure exactly what to call my topic, but I thought I’d share some background in this post. I’ll write more about where I’m taking it next in a follow-up article. Oh, and by the way, this post also explains the origin of this blog’s name, Starcat’s Study. Sort of a play on words, you see. Heh.

In 1992, nearly 20 years ago, I wrote: “What is this thing that I am so glibly calling ‘The Study’? Well, it is a personal study of topics that could fall under other labels. The problem being that I wanted to avoid labels as being too limited and stereotypical. But for clarity, I’ll tell some I considered. One is ‘Spirituality,’ but that makes one think of organized religion or groups, and this is much more personal. Another is ‘New Age,’ but that has such a negative stereotype sometimes, of flaky consumers on the latest bandwagon. ‘Occult’ is also a word with negative stereotypes, but of a less harmless nature. People equate the word with evil. Since I’m chaotic good, I avoided that. Something that I have called myself is a shaman, but again my own meaning of that word is very different from typical ones.”

After quoting one of my new favorite authors at the time, Amber Wolfe, who combines shamanism, New Age spirituality, and Wicca, I continued: “I am an Aquarian shaman, but a reticent one, and perhaps more a scholar than a healer. One way I feel I can help people is through writing, as well as helping myself this way. As I accumulate all this varied knowledge, I’m not only learning myself, but collecting sources and backups for theories and ideas for later writing. I still don’t know what form or forms this writing will take, but I’m still in the passive, data-gathering stages, although passive may not be the right term. I’m fairly active at what I’m doing, just receptive as opposed to creating and putting out a lot of things. There is some sort of synthesis of ideas going on within.”

Here’s a further description of the process I was beginning to undergo at that time: “The Study includes all sorts of different reading material I keep notes on. It also encompasses the experiences I have that I may keep in my journal or dream diary or whatever. The work that I do with my altar is one example. I’ve developed it into a sort of good-energy altar table with rocks, crystals, incense, candles, etc. It is a bit harder to document the type of work done on inner levels, but I feel it is equally important.”

A commitment to doing the work: “I do feel that I need to devote more time to this Study, especially maintaining a routine of meditating and doing rituals.” And in fact, five years later, in 1997, I started a daily spiritual practice that has carried on through to the present day.

A vision for the future: “There are certain elements that many different ‘magical’ or ‘religious’ traditions have in common, especially for inner work. A synthesis of some of these elements, as well as my own growth and enlightenment through practice and hard work, are what The Study is all about. It has already definitely helped me, and I feel that if I can eventually help others with it all the work will be really worth it. Not only that, but to me it is really enjoyable. Learning is one of the things I like best, and one of the things I feel I do best.”

And, prophetically, looking ahead to the journey of the next two decades: “ I realize (or think I do) what a big undertaking this is, and that there’s no way I’ll ever see all the related and vitally important information concerning it. But that’s all right. Guided by my intuition and guides, I will get what I need for it to continue to be successful for me as I need it. Making my own path, my own religion of one that fits me ethically, morally, and spiritually, is perhaps the best thing I can do for myself and the Universe.”

These days, I’m still on my personal path, and I’m now in a more active mode. I’ve made my writing and related creative projects my right livelihood. Through Feline Dreamers (with my partner BlackLion, who contributes his own wisdom from his journey), I have a venue to share what I’ve learned. I feel thankful and blessed, and I’m so excited to still be learning new things every single day. Perhaps this is more of a Doctorate program.

Baseline: Contentment

It's time for another writing exercise from the blog A Journey of Joy. Here's this week's prompt: "We thought it would be fun and interesting to write about contentment. I'm interested to learn what you think of contentment. Does this word have a positive or negative connotation to you?"

I have mixed feelings about contentment. My first internal response was that contentment is positive, because it brings to mind curling up with a book and and a purring cat on a cold winter evening. It feels a bit like equanimity, of being content with your life despite the external conditions, of sitting like the Buddha under a tree, peacefully content. But on the other hand, contentment can imply that we are just...settling. It can mean we're okay with the status quo, that we don't bother to create change or follow our passions or get really enthusiastic about something. Contentment can feel like sitting comfortably in the suburbs, taking things for granted, while the world goes on elsewhere.

I'm the type of person who appreciates contentment and keeping things on an even keel, emotionally speaking. But I also know the value of stimulus and change and progress. I have many friends who live more vibrantly, and can get more passionate, laugh louder and live bigger than I tend to do. But those highs can often bring with them deeper lows. That kind of radical up-and-down can make my stomach hurt - literally. I can't keep up that pace, or I get really stressed out, and that doesn't help me live a fulfilling life and contribute to the world.

What I came down to is that I enjoy contentment as an ongoing baseline emotion. It's where I like to reside. From there, I can soar upward into passion and excitement, and of course sometimes dip down into doubt, worry, or fear (it happens to all of us now and then). I think having a more secure foundation works best for me. From there, I allow myself to be inspired to stretch and grow when it feels right. I ask questions within the privacy of my own mind, and then go out and act on the answers, and discover more questions to ponder. Rather than reacting immediately, I prefer to contemplate first, and I'm content in the knowledge that my path will unfold in good time.

[P.S. For some reason I can't seem to post a comment on A Journey of Joy. I wanted to share with the author that I'm loving these prompts, and send her some links to my responses. If anyone knows Galavanter personally, could you please show her this post? Thanks!]

Pure Pleasure

I'm going to join in on the Self-Discovery Word-by-Word Blogger Series. I found out about it on Being Joy. The word for February is "pleasure."

I think pleasure is a signpost, pointing me toward my callings in life. Sometimes the call is just to be really present in the moment, like the pleasure of walking in the moonlight, or of lying in bed for a few extra minutes and savoring the dreams I just experienced. At other times, it can be more complex, like the pleasure of a challenging art project or sitting down to write an article for my e-zine. Pleasure is the feeling I get when I'm aligned with the things I love, the things that call to my soul.

What are the greatest sources of pleasure in my life? I've grouped them into three categories: my beloveds, the written word, and Mother Nature. My beloveds are my family and friends, including the ones with paws and tails. I'm blessed with a fun and loving community of people. We laugh a lot, play games, create together, and have a wonderful time. The written word, whether I'm reading or writing, is one of my all-time favorite pleasures. I don't think there's a day that goes by when I don't read and write. And Mother Nature...ahhh. The pleasure I get from the natural world ranges from taking walks and hikes to gardening to practicing magick in a sacred circle. I love to be connected with the Earth, the Sun, the Moon and Stars.

That sounds like a whole lot of pleasure! And it's true, I do enjoy my life. Yet like most people, I can also get caught up in stress and mundania, things that suck the pleasure out of daily life. Over the past few years I've been learning to let go of worrying, which is, it seems to me, the opposite of pleasure. Stress leads to a narrow view of life, one where pleasure is delayed and denigrated. It can be challenging to get out of that space and back onto the path. When I'm stuck in that worried mindset, I've learned to look for the little pleasures that help wake me back up: the softness of a cat's fur, the sun peeking through the clouds, the smile of a child. Gradually, I find my way back, looking for those brightly-painted signposts which point the way joyfully to the reasons I've chosen to be here.