One of the exercises in the first week of The Artist's Way is to answer this question: "If you had five other lives to lead, what would you do in each of them?" The answers probably could be very elaborate, but the author lists some examples, most of which are professions (firefighter, rock star, surgeon, and the like).
I believe in reincarnation. Yes, I'm fully aware that although this belief feels right to me, I have no way of truly knowing what happens after death until it's my turn to die. I'm comfortable with that. The Mysteries are just that...a mystery. A couple of other existences that have come to me quite vividly include a Native American man in the Pacific Northwest, and a life as a priestess somewhere in the British Isles (where my Mom and I were sisters).
But anyway, rather than calling these "past lives," I prefer the term "alternate lives." That's because, after reading and studying the Seth material and other channeled work, I've come to also believe that, looking at the big picture, time is simultaneous. Yes, here on the Earth plane we're immersed in a world of linear time, yet I think that's only one thin slice of the bigger reality that is the Multiverse. So I see the other lives I'm connected with personally as all happening at once. I can consciously tap into and learn from them, if I choose. Or I can simply learn from them through our subconscious connection, and perhaps visit some of them in dreams.
Those beliefs affected the way I approached the exercise, though the instructions did say not to overthink it, so I simply wrote down the first few ideas that came into my mind. Here, then, are a few of my alternate lives: a dancer, a yoga teacher, a massage and polarity therapist (aka healer), a librarian, and a Buddhist nun.
The librarian one is a no-brainer. I actually feel like I serve as one of the many librarians in a huge multi-cultural center (Alexandria? A future place where space travel is common? Someplace big). I find it interesting that the majority of these five lives are very much centered on the physical body, which is an area I felt challenged earlier in this life. I found my physical strength and grace as an adult, after feeling very awkward in my body as a child and teen, and I have learned that I most enjoy pursuits like swimming, hiking, and yoga, rather than competitive sports or gym workouts. I can totally see the dancer thing; when I dance, though I've had no formal training, I'm transported to a whole different level of awareness.
So, try this exercise yourself. What would you do if you had five other lives to play with? You don't have to be restricted to listing careers. Imagine yourself as a different gender or sexual orientation. What would your life be like? Would you choose to have kids, or not? Where might you live? It's a fun way to begin to explore your alternative lives, and to give your imagination a good workout.
"The flow of creativity feels like an avalanche of joy and wonder. Being open to that possibility creates connections with everything." - Feline Dreamers
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Recovering Perfectionist
Last night, after a fun and successful dress rehearsal for the show I'm in, I dreamed I could fly. It was the most vivid and exhilarating flying dream I can ever remember (and I don't have a lot of them). It felt great, like I was soaring above it all, having a fantastic time, trusting myself to the air currents and my amazing flying powers.
The kids both stayed overnight at our friend's house (the awesome one who hosts the homeschool group week after week after week) last night after the Halloween party. So I was a bit relaxed about getting to the homeschool co-op today, especially since it was the end-of-term review and party.
BlackLion and I got on the road by 10am, which is when the event starts. I said to him, knowing that we still needed to stop and get gas, "it's okay if we're late, right?" His reply was, "well, you're usually the one who's worried about that kind of stuff." "Oh. Well, I'm okay with it. Right?"
My phone rings. It's ElvenTiger, calling on her friend's cell phone from the co-op, and she wants to know where I am, and if I have her baskets (which she made during basket-weaving class). I do have them, but I'm still just leaving. She says they're about to show them off, and I realize I won't get there in time. Cringe.
We stop at the store, and while BlackLion pumps the gas, I pull out my planner and take a look, just to make sure I'm on track. Most of my stuff is on our online Google calendar, but I also have a paper planner that I can take along (my ancient cell phone won't do that stuff. It's from, like, 2006. Yes, really). I realize that Tuesday was my parents' wedding anniversary, and I forgot to send them a card, or even wish them a happy day. Even though I did talk with my Mom that day. Cringe again.
"Wow," I quip, "I'm in trouble with both generations! What a rebel!" Of course, there's no trouble. I call my Mom, and she's fine with it. She tells me my brother didn't call that day, either. "Well," I tell her, "but he's the prodigal son, and I'm supposed to be the good one." Laughing at myself and all the pressure I put on myself to be perfect. And aside from an eye roll, ElvenTiger doesn't seem to mind that her baskets arrive late, and as they sit on the table all day, they do get lots of admiring comments from other Moms.
As I tell a group of the co-op Moms at lunchtime, when we sit chatting about all sorts of interesting things, I'm a recovering perfectionist. We all commiserate on feeling that way. Many women do. We can get 25 compliments and one mean-sounding comment, and we'll remember the negative one. Why? We want to fix it all, have our lives be perfect...or at least appear that way to all our acquaintances and colleagues. But that's what keeps us distant from each other, at times. It's when we get real, admit our fears and flaws and failures, that we can empathize and really feel for each other. That's when friendships are made or cemented.
And trying to be perfect is often just a recipe for stress. Face it, no one can be all things to all people, not even (or perhaps especially not) our kids and our parents. That's why I've given up perfectionism. It's when we let go that we can really soar. I'm now a recovering perfectionist. How about you?
The kids both stayed overnight at our friend's house (the awesome one who hosts the homeschool group week after week after week) last night after the Halloween party. So I was a bit relaxed about getting to the homeschool co-op today, especially since it was the end-of-term review and party.
BlackLion and I got on the road by 10am, which is when the event starts. I said to him, knowing that we still needed to stop and get gas, "it's okay if we're late, right?" His reply was, "well, you're usually the one who's worried about that kind of stuff." "Oh. Well, I'm okay with it. Right?"
My phone rings. It's ElvenTiger, calling on her friend's cell phone from the co-op, and she wants to know where I am, and if I have her baskets (which she made during basket-weaving class). I do have them, but I'm still just leaving. She says they're about to show them off, and I realize I won't get there in time. Cringe.
We stop at the store, and while BlackLion pumps the gas, I pull out my planner and take a look, just to make sure I'm on track. Most of my stuff is on our online Google calendar, but I also have a paper planner that I can take along (my ancient cell phone won't do that stuff. It's from, like, 2006. Yes, really). I realize that Tuesday was my parents' wedding anniversary, and I forgot to send them a card, or even wish them a happy day. Even though I did talk with my Mom that day. Cringe again.
"Wow," I quip, "I'm in trouble with both generations! What a rebel!" Of course, there's no trouble. I call my Mom, and she's fine with it. She tells me my brother didn't call that day, either. "Well," I tell her, "but he's the prodigal son, and I'm supposed to be the good one." Laughing at myself and all the pressure I put on myself to be perfect. And aside from an eye roll, ElvenTiger doesn't seem to mind that her baskets arrive late, and as they sit on the table all day, they do get lots of admiring comments from other Moms.
As I tell a group of the co-op Moms at lunchtime, when we sit chatting about all sorts of interesting things, I'm a recovering perfectionist. We all commiserate on feeling that way. Many women do. We can get 25 compliments and one mean-sounding comment, and we'll remember the negative one. Why? We want to fix it all, have our lives be perfect...or at least appear that way to all our acquaintances and colleagues. But that's what keeps us distant from each other, at times. It's when we get real, admit our fears and flaws and failures, that we can empathize and really feel for each other. That's when friendships are made or cemented.
And trying to be perfect is often just a recipe for stress. Face it, no one can be all things to all people, not even (or perhaps especially not) our kids and our parents. That's why I've given up perfectionism. It's when we let go that we can really soar. I'm now a recovering perfectionist. How about you?
Friday, October 07, 2011
Order of the Red Shopping Cart
It's Friday, and the (fun but) busy week I've been having is catching up with me. I'm not stressed out, but definitely have a very full mind and life. Lists are my friend. I haven't done my "morning pages" journal writing for a couple of days (well, there's still time to do today's, but most likely in the late evening by the time I get to it).
I had a nightmare the other night, after not having had one for quite a while. It was about a huge giant of a man who was a serial killer. I called the dream "Control Freak," both because that's how he behaved, but also because that's what I think he represents for me - a part of my psyche that wants to be in control of everything, thus killing other parts of me, or at least threatening them. It's something I've been releasing for quite some time now, and with excellent results, yet those old patterns often seem most resistant just when you think you're finally done with them.
Overall, though, things are going well, and if this post seems scattered, it's just because that's where my mind is at today. Here is a sampling of some things on my list: taking kids to and from soccer, birthday plans for family members and friends (hi Libras!), getting my bangs trimmed, drum practice, packing up stuff to take to an event tomorrow, vacuuming, various writing projects all clamoring for attention, and more!
If you're curious about the title of this post, well so am I. It's the only thing I brought back from my dreams upon waking this morning. What is the Order of the Red Shopping Cart, and am I now a member? Shopping wasn't even on my to-do list! What can it mean? No time to figure it out now. Gotta go!
I had a nightmare the other night, after not having had one for quite a while. It was about a huge giant of a man who was a serial killer. I called the dream "Control Freak," both because that's how he behaved, but also because that's what I think he represents for me - a part of my psyche that wants to be in control of everything, thus killing other parts of me, or at least threatening them. It's something I've been releasing for quite some time now, and with excellent results, yet those old patterns often seem most resistant just when you think you're finally done with them.
Overall, though, things are going well, and if this post seems scattered, it's just because that's where my mind is at today. Here is a sampling of some things on my list: taking kids to and from soccer, birthday plans for family members and friends (hi Libras!), getting my bangs trimmed, drum practice, packing up stuff to take to an event tomorrow, vacuuming, various writing projects all clamoring for attention, and more!
If you're curious about the title of this post, well so am I. It's the only thing I brought back from my dreams upon waking this morning. What is the Order of the Red Shopping Cart, and am I now a member? Shopping wasn't even on my to-do list! What can it mean? No time to figure it out now. Gotta go!
Monday, October 03, 2011
Bedtime Routine and The Between
October's theme for National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) is "Between." So I thought, since I seem to have taken up the challenge of daily blogging this month, that today I'd talk about one of the ways I use the term "between."
My bedtime routine goes like this: after brushing my teeth and changing into my PJs (really just a very soft oversize t-shirt), I climb into bed. Usually the window is open, at least a crack, to provide some fresh air. I grab a book from the stack next to my bed - I always have at least two books going at once, so I see which one is calling to me at the moment. I read for a while. It might be an hour or more, or if I'm tired, just for a few minutes. It's a rare night when I don't read before sleeping. Once I'm done, I make sure my dream journal and a pen are nearby, and turn out the light.
Then comes the Between part. I settle in and nestle my cheek down on the pillow, close my eyes, and let my mind roam. When I start to see images, sort of like dreams but more ephemeral, I know that I've reached the Between space, the magickal creative place between waking consciousness and sleep. It's a bit like dreaming, but I'm still aware that I'm in my bed beginning to fall asleep. Sometimes I take part in conversations there, or travel to interesting places. The imagery is vivid and fantastical, yet somehow not as easily captured as standard dreams. I like it there in the Between. I let myself drift down into sleep like a falling autumn leaf.
Sometimes upon waking, as I emerge from my dreams, I find myself once again in the Between. Or perhaps it's the reverse, since I'm moving in a different direction - maybe I'll call it the Mirror Between. Usually when I'm waking up, my thoughts are gradually organizing themselves. I'm focused on recalling my dreams so I can write them down, on what I'm going to be doing today, on the friendly household sounds, and on the weather outside my window as I emerge into the waking world once again. The Mirror Between is like emerging from a dimly lit room into the sunshine.
I want to learn how to capture some of the insights I find in the Between space. I'm currently reading "Active Dreaming," by Robert Moss, and he talks about how lots of creative people find interesting ideas, inventions and solutions in that liminal space Between waking and sleeping. Perhaps I'll see if I can jot down some of my Between notions. The trouble with that is, I get most of them when I am falling asleep, and if I wake up enough to make notes, I'll have to start over. Wait, that might not be so bad - I'd have even more chances to visit the Between!
My bedtime routine goes like this: after brushing my teeth and changing into my PJs (really just a very soft oversize t-shirt), I climb into bed. Usually the window is open, at least a crack, to provide some fresh air. I grab a book from the stack next to my bed - I always have at least two books going at once, so I see which one is calling to me at the moment. I read for a while. It might be an hour or more, or if I'm tired, just for a few minutes. It's a rare night when I don't read before sleeping. Once I'm done, I make sure my dream journal and a pen are nearby, and turn out the light.
Then comes the Between part. I settle in and nestle my cheek down on the pillow, close my eyes, and let my mind roam. When I start to see images, sort of like dreams but more ephemeral, I know that I've reached the Between space, the magickal creative place between waking consciousness and sleep. It's a bit like dreaming, but I'm still aware that I'm in my bed beginning to fall asleep. Sometimes I take part in conversations there, or travel to interesting places. The imagery is vivid and fantastical, yet somehow not as easily captured as standard dreams. I like it there in the Between. I let myself drift down into sleep like a falling autumn leaf.
Sometimes upon waking, as I emerge from my dreams, I find myself once again in the Between. Or perhaps it's the reverse, since I'm moving in a different direction - maybe I'll call it the Mirror Between. Usually when I'm waking up, my thoughts are gradually organizing themselves. I'm focused on recalling my dreams so I can write them down, on what I'm going to be doing today, on the friendly household sounds, and on the weather outside my window as I emerge into the waking world once again. The Mirror Between is like emerging from a dimly lit room into the sunshine.
I want to learn how to capture some of the insights I find in the Between space. I'm currently reading "Active Dreaming," by Robert Moss, and he talks about how lots of creative people find interesting ideas, inventions and solutions in that liminal space Between waking and sleeping. Perhaps I'll see if I can jot down some of my Between notions. The trouble with that is, I get most of them when I am falling asleep, and if I wake up enough to make notes, I'll have to start over. Wait, that might not be so bad - I'd have even more chances to visit the Between!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Dreamwork Transformation
The past few nights I've been doing some more new dreamwork as I sleep. Not like a dream in the conventional sense, but more like the dream healing I was doing last fall, which I wrote about here. This recent dreamwork is difficult to explain in words, but I'm going to try.
Oddly enough, it centers around part of the song "Kandi" by One Eskimo, a sort of bridge or chorus that was actually originally part of an older song, though I'm not sure of the history. The part I'm talking about goes "he called me baby, baby, all night long." I heard the song on The World Cafe on Saturday night, and since then it's been woven through my sleep.
As I rise up toward the surface, between deep sleep and dreaming, I hear that part of the song playing. And it feels like a spell or type of magick, and the word that comes up about it is "transformation." When the song-spell plays, I go through the process of transforming something within me...energy? old patterns? I'm not sure what it is, or how to describe it. It's a deep feeling, and it seems like a positive thing when it is happening. Last night I remember noting the fact that I was doing the "spell" backwards. The music was still playing as usual, but somehow it seemed like I had learned to reverse something, and that too was a good thing.
Sorry to be so vague, but I wanted to try and capture it here. The reason I recalled it was that I didn't remember any traditional dreams this morning, so when I was thinking about dreams, this is what popped into my memory. Don't look so puzzled - you already knew I was strange!
Oddly enough, it centers around part of the song "Kandi" by One Eskimo, a sort of bridge or chorus that was actually originally part of an older song, though I'm not sure of the history. The part I'm talking about goes "he called me baby, baby, all night long." I heard the song on The World Cafe on Saturday night, and since then it's been woven through my sleep.
As I rise up toward the surface, between deep sleep and dreaming, I hear that part of the song playing. And it feels like a spell or type of magick, and the word that comes up about it is "transformation." When the song-spell plays, I go through the process of transforming something within me...energy? old patterns? I'm not sure what it is, or how to describe it. It's a deep feeling, and it seems like a positive thing when it is happening. Last night I remember noting the fact that I was doing the "spell" backwards. The music was still playing as usual, but somehow it seemed like I had learned to reverse something, and that too was a good thing.
Sorry to be so vague, but I wanted to try and capture it here. The reason I recalled it was that I didn't remember any traditional dreams this morning, so when I was thinking about dreams, this is what popped into my memory. Don't look so puzzled - you already knew I was strange!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Amazing Epiphanies
I've had such a fabulous week! Remember when I wrote about working on increasing my self-love? On Valentine's Day, I had a realization that has led me to a whole new level of self-love and self-acceptance.
As I wrote on the Feline Dreamers blog, the inspiration for this epiphany was a phrase from a guided meditation from the CD “Getting Into the Vortex” by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Just by hearing this phrase - “you are precisely where you have intended to be, and the Source within you is pleased” - I was launched into a new and exciting spiritual adventure.
Every day since then, I've been buoyed up by the notion that I am absolutely loved and cared for, just as I am. The sun seems brighter, the days seem full of possibilities, and I'm smiling and laughing a lot. After just one week, I've already expanded so much. BlackLion and I put in several queries to literary agents about one of our books, which is a huge step forward. I had an amazing dream that showed how much I've integrated this new lesson. And my connections (with other people, the earth, the Divine) have become more direct and tangible.
I'm so very thankful for the blossoming of this new energy. And I'm also glad I put in the work, tilling the soil and planting the seeds over the past several months. I send out my gratitude and joy to everyone, vibrating outward in waves of love. Blessed Be!
As I wrote on the Feline Dreamers blog, the inspiration for this epiphany was a phrase from a guided meditation from the CD “Getting Into the Vortex” by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Just by hearing this phrase - “you are precisely where you have intended to be, and the Source within you is pleased” - I was launched into a new and exciting spiritual adventure.
Every day since then, I've been buoyed up by the notion that I am absolutely loved and cared for, just as I am. The sun seems brighter, the days seem full of possibilities, and I'm smiling and laughing a lot. After just one week, I've already expanded so much. BlackLion and I put in several queries to literary agents about one of our books, which is a huge step forward. I had an amazing dream that showed how much I've integrated this new lesson. And my connections (with other people, the earth, the Divine) have become more direct and tangible.
I'm so very thankful for the blossoming of this new energy. And I'm also glad I put in the work, tilling the soil and planting the seeds over the past several months. I send out my gratitude and joy to everyone, vibrating outward in waves of love. Blessed Be!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Quotes from a Night of Dreaming
I keep a dream journal, and usually I either write down a dream or two in the morning, or I can't recall any well enough to capture them. However, one night last week I woke up with a couple of quotes that were part of my dreamscape in some way. Here they are:
"Vampire Book Club: you don't want to read the books these creatures suggest. Creepy not cool."
and
"It's like trying to crack the eggs from a rubber chicken."
I wish I knew what "it" was in the second one, but I have no idea. Let me know if you come up with any scenarios. ;) Enjoy!
"Vampire Book Club: you don't want to read the books these creatures suggest. Creepy not cool."
and
"It's like trying to crack the eggs from a rubber chicken."
I wish I knew what "it" was in the second one, but I have no idea. Let me know if you come up with any scenarios. ;) Enjoy!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Intuitive Dream Healing
I’ve been working with my dreams over the past several months. I’m keeping a dream journal and noticing how my intuition provides answers, cloaked in dream images, to the questions and challenges in my life. It’s a rewarding process. It helps me to go deeper into areas where I need to learn new tools and lessons, as well as connecting me more strongly with my creativity and spirituality.
Over the past week, I’ve noticed an interesting new dream phenomenon. After my weekend intensive workshop, I noticed one morning when I woke up that I’d been dreaming of one of the other workshop participants – I’ll call her Ella (all names are changed to protect privacy). I’ve gotten to know her better over the past year or two and have done other magickal work with her. I didn’t have a memory of us doing anything in particular in the dreams, just her presence and an echo of her name and energy. It made sense at the time – I’d been thinking of her because we’d just been in sacred space together and because I like her.
A couple of days later, I had a similar experience with another woman, who I’ll call Kelly. She’s an acquaintance of mine. We met once at a party and struck up a casual Facebook friendship based on a shared sense of humor and attitude. I hadn’t been in touch with her lately, but the echo of her name remained in my mind when I woke up. She wasn’t in any of my actual dreams, but it was as if, after each dream ended, her name arose and I re-focused on her, then went on with the next dream. It’s a bit hard to explain, but she was like a thread running through my sleep time.
Last night it happened again, this time with a colleague of mine, who I’ll call Bette. This time I knew she had been in a difficult situation, but I wasn’t particularly focused on her before I went to sleep, so it wasn’t a conscious effort. Some subconscious part of me must have wanted to help, because this time it felt more like I’d been sending her healing energy as I slept. Again, she didn’t show up in the dreams themselves, but after each sequence, her name and energy returned to my dreaming self (strongly enough so I recalled it upon waking). I think I’ve been doing some kind of spontaneous intuitive dream healing.
When I do energy work, I make sure to ask for permission before sending someone healing. I guess I can’t really do that if I’m not conscious of what I’ll be doing in advance! Though I don’t think it’s harmful, because of course their subconscious selves have to allow the energies in order to be influenced by them. In fact, I think the whole experience is kind of cool. It’s also interesting that it has happened primarily with acquaintances or colleagues, rather than close friends or family members. I wonder if I could do dream healing more purposefully, by focusing on someone (who has given their okay) before I go to sleep. I think perhaps some experimentation is in order! Anyone want to be the recipient?
Over the past week, I’ve noticed an interesting new dream phenomenon. After my weekend intensive workshop, I noticed one morning when I woke up that I’d been dreaming of one of the other workshop participants – I’ll call her Ella (all names are changed to protect privacy). I’ve gotten to know her better over the past year or two and have done other magickal work with her. I didn’t have a memory of us doing anything in particular in the dreams, just her presence and an echo of her name and energy. It made sense at the time – I’d been thinking of her because we’d just been in sacred space together and because I like her.
A couple of days later, I had a similar experience with another woman, who I’ll call Kelly. She’s an acquaintance of mine. We met once at a party and struck up a casual Facebook friendship based on a shared sense of humor and attitude. I hadn’t been in touch with her lately, but the echo of her name remained in my mind when I woke up. She wasn’t in any of my actual dreams, but it was as if, after each dream ended, her name arose and I re-focused on her, then went on with the next dream. It’s a bit hard to explain, but she was like a thread running through my sleep time.
Last night it happened again, this time with a colleague of mine, who I’ll call Bette. This time I knew she had been in a difficult situation, but I wasn’t particularly focused on her before I went to sleep, so it wasn’t a conscious effort. Some subconscious part of me must have wanted to help, because this time it felt more like I’d been sending her healing energy as I slept. Again, she didn’t show up in the dreams themselves, but after each sequence, her name and energy returned to my dreaming self (strongly enough so I recalled it upon waking). I think I’ve been doing some kind of spontaneous intuitive dream healing.
When I do energy work, I make sure to ask for permission before sending someone healing. I guess I can’t really do that if I’m not conscious of what I’ll be doing in advance! Though I don’t think it’s harmful, because of course their subconscious selves have to allow the energies in order to be influenced by them. In fact, I think the whole experience is kind of cool. It’s also interesting that it has happened primarily with acquaintances or colleagues, rather than close friends or family members. I wonder if I could do dream healing more purposefully, by focusing on someone (who has given their okay) before I go to sleep. I think perhaps some experimentation is in order! Anyone want to be the recipient?
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Sunflower Dreaming
After a delightful conversation and some inspiring reading before bed last night, I had some cool dreams. Floating through them was the image of a sunflower. Sometimes it was on its own, but a lot of the images were of me drawing or somehow creating sunflower pictures.
Sunflowers in dreams can mean abundance, warmth, and spiritual guidance. Also, the Sun is returning and I may be able to subconsciously feel its energy...even while it's snowing outside. I think the sunflower image is connected to the excitement I have about my plans for this year. I want to energize my active spiritual focus, adding new practices and learning new things as well as renewing ones that I enjoy.
I've done some journaling today about my sunflower dreams and decided that I'll make a sunflower collage. Quester is working on his holiday gift for me, which is some new shelves over my desk. So after a bit of organizing I'll have more space for art and other projects. BlackLion also has a big art table in his new space. Lots of art and writing are in the cards for this year!
Sunflowers in dreams can mean abundance, warmth, and spiritual guidance. Also, the Sun is returning and I may be able to subconsciously feel its energy...even while it's snowing outside. I think the sunflower image is connected to the excitement I have about my plans for this year. I want to energize my active spiritual focus, adding new practices and learning new things as well as renewing ones that I enjoy.
I've done some journaling today about my sunflower dreams and decided that I'll make a sunflower collage. Quester is working on his holiday gift for me, which is some new shelves over my desk. So after a bit of organizing I'll have more space for art and other projects. BlackLion also has a big art table in his new space. Lots of art and writing are in the cards for this year!
Friday, March 07, 2008
Affirming Success
Sometimes when we’re making a big change, even one that we have created and wished for and are looking forward to, doubts arise. Our old patterns push at us, wanting us to stay in the comfortable familiar rut, prodding us about what we’ll do if we’re “not successful” on the new path. We see reflections of our old beliefs, perhaps in worries about “the economy,” or stories of how people are working hard and not being able to support themselves. We witness lack.
When we’re changing our core beliefs about something, we might get to the point where we are really seeing things in a new way, and sometimes that’s when our own resistance or fear comes up. I’ve been having those doubts arise this week. Luckily, my recent practice of mindfulness has been helping me see them for what they are. Rather than attaching more worry and fear to them, I can just let them flow through me and know that they are just thoughts and feelings of the moment, not “the way things are.”
What is it I’m afraid of, beneath those surface doubts? Mostly, I think it’s just the unknown. I know it can be done, I know I can live my dreams and enjoy an abundant life full of joy and learning and writing and travel and gardening and more. But sometimes my brain gets hung up on those financial “how will I pay for it?” thoughts. And yes, I do have to consider finances, and I’m doing so in positive and creative ways. But I’m talking about the fear-based thoughts, the ones that see from a perspective of lack and restriction. Those are the ones that can just flow on through. They are not me. I know that the universe is a place of abundance and pronoia, and that by knowing that and acting from that place, I’ll attract just exactly what I need and want.
I’m learning that it’s not greedy to pursue your dreams…it’s what we’re here for. We will each do our soul’s work on our own time, in our own way, on our own timetable. And it will look different for each person. Perhaps part of me is afraid, not of failing, but of succeeding. Here’s a quote I found on someone’s e-mail signature on a spirituality and unschooling list:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” - Marianne Williamson
I’m ready for success, I really am. And, moreover, I’m already successful! I’m a mother and a writer and a joyful person and much more. I release old fears and doubts, and step forward on this path of self-discovery and creativity. My life is becoming ever more full of beauty and wonder and joy and love. My projects are flowering beyond my dreams. So mote it be!
When we’re changing our core beliefs about something, we might get to the point where we are really seeing things in a new way, and sometimes that’s when our own resistance or fear comes up. I’ve been having those doubts arise this week. Luckily, my recent practice of mindfulness has been helping me see them for what they are. Rather than attaching more worry and fear to them, I can just let them flow through me and know that they are just thoughts and feelings of the moment, not “the way things are.”
What is it I’m afraid of, beneath those surface doubts? Mostly, I think it’s just the unknown. I know it can be done, I know I can live my dreams and enjoy an abundant life full of joy and learning and writing and travel and gardening and more. But sometimes my brain gets hung up on those financial “how will I pay for it?” thoughts. And yes, I do have to consider finances, and I’m doing so in positive and creative ways. But I’m talking about the fear-based thoughts, the ones that see from a perspective of lack and restriction. Those are the ones that can just flow on through. They are not me. I know that the universe is a place of abundance and pronoia, and that by knowing that and acting from that place, I’ll attract just exactly what I need and want.
I’m learning that it’s not greedy to pursue your dreams…it’s what we’re here for. We will each do our soul’s work on our own time, in our own way, on our own timetable. And it will look different for each person. Perhaps part of me is afraid, not of failing, but of succeeding. Here’s a quote I found on someone’s e-mail signature on a spirituality and unschooling list:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” - Marianne Williamson
I’m ready for success, I really am. And, moreover, I’m already successful! I’m a mother and a writer and a joyful person and much more. I release old fears and doubts, and step forward on this path of self-discovery and creativity. My life is becoming ever more full of beauty and wonder and joy and love. My projects are flowering beyond my dreams. So mote it be!
Saturday, February 18, 2006
That Vegan Thing
Over the past few months, I've been eating more and more like a vegan. I've been eating less dairy and eggs because they cause me digestive problems. I get along fine that way (I'm one of those people who really likes tofu) and I really appreciate the fact that foods without cheese and cream are also lower in calories. Although I consider myself a vegetarian (for about the past 12 years), I do eat fish and seafood occasionally.
My food choices have thus far been primarily about health. I originally stopped eating red meats because of a family history of colitis. As mentioned above, avoiding dairy and eggs keeps me from having health issues, too. Though I do value the fact that I'm not personally contributing to animals living in cramped and unhealthy conditions, I know that vegetarianism isn't for everyone.
A couple of nights ago, though, I had a dream which involved a pool of water being formed (temporarily) on my Aunt's driveway. When the water was drying up, there were three large salmon flopping around in the evaporating pool. My companions and I knew they would die soon, and I was given a knife and told to put them out of their misery. I just couldn't do it, though, and I handed the knife off to someone else, covering my eyes and turning away. The question that ended the dream was "well, should I be eating fish, then?"
Today I went out to lunch with my parents at a local diner, which isn't particularly vegetarian-savvy. This is the type of situation where I might normally have a haddock sandwich or some such thing, but after that dream, I couldn't do it. I'm not sure what my long-term decision on this is, but for the moment at least, I'm feeling that I've made a further step down the vegan path.
[As a footnote, if vegan food interests you, there's a really cute blog about it that I've linked here, called The Vegan Lunchbox.]
My food choices have thus far been primarily about health. I originally stopped eating red meats because of a family history of colitis. As mentioned above, avoiding dairy and eggs keeps me from having health issues, too. Though I do value the fact that I'm not personally contributing to animals living in cramped and unhealthy conditions, I know that vegetarianism isn't for everyone.
A couple of nights ago, though, I had a dream which involved a pool of water being formed (temporarily) on my Aunt's driveway. When the water was drying up, there were three large salmon flopping around in the evaporating pool. My companions and I knew they would die soon, and I was given a knife and told to put them out of their misery. I just couldn't do it, though, and I handed the knife off to someone else, covering my eyes and turning away. The question that ended the dream was "well, should I be eating fish, then?"
Today I went out to lunch with my parents at a local diner, which isn't particularly vegetarian-savvy. This is the type of situation where I might normally have a haddock sandwich or some such thing, but after that dream, I couldn't do it. I'm not sure what my long-term decision on this is, but for the moment at least, I'm feeling that I've made a further step down the vegan path.
[As a footnote, if vegan food interests you, there's a really cute blog about it that I've linked here, called The Vegan Lunchbox.]
Saturday, February 11, 2006
A Curious Dream
I was hanging out with a friend in his apartment (a dreamtime friend, apparently; I didn't recognize him from waking life) in a city. We went out for a while, to get something to eat, but when we came back to his street, his apartment building was gone. Not demolished or burned down, but just...not there. He was incredulous and upset, and checked up and down the street, and several adjoining streets, making sure we were in the right neighborhood, looking at building numbers, and just generally freaking out. Finally I made him stop and look at me, and said, “look, it's obvious we've somehow gotten into a different reality. You're trying to solve this with logic, with your left brain, but it's not a logical situation. I know you're not going to like this, but we're going to have to solve it with magick.” I asked him to take me to a place in nature. He said there wasn't anyplace, we were right in the city, but finally admitted there was a golf course nearby, “but we're not supposed to go there.” I said “perfect,” and we snuck onto the golf course and found a cluster of trees with low, gnarled branches. We sat down to work our magick. Pretty soon we started to see fantastical creatures walking around the golf course. My friend was still incredulous, but I took it as a good sign that we were between the worlds. Unfortunately, that was when I woke up, so I don't know if my right-brain solution got us back to the reality we started in, or not.
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