My Heart Bursts Open

Back in the fall, I had a great session with a good friend who is also an astrologer. In fact, it was my birthday present from him. He gave me a personal forecast for the coming year, and in the process he listed several dates when the energies of each transit or conjunction would "peak."

This past week, I was looking through my notebook for something and I came across my notes from the session. The first "peak" for this calendar year was January 20th - which is the day when baby Ember was born! And it certainly was a powerful experience, being present for her entry into this world.

When Ember's Mom asked me to be with her during labor and delivery, she said "I'd like to have your calm, positive energy in the room." I was so very touched and honored, and of course agreed to help my friend. I'd never been a birth coach before, and since the process started sooner than her due date, I didn't have as much time to prepare as I would have liked. At times during the labor, I doubted whether I was helping much. I didn't really know what to say to encourage her. So I focused on things like bringing her juice and breathing and holding the space. I did what I could physically, which didn't seem like much, but I also focused on being present for her and the baby. I did a lot of energy work and, in retrospect, sort of a projecting of my own centeredness, though I wouldn't have known how to describe it at the time.

After the birth, my friend and her midwife both complimented me on the aid I provided. They felt my calm presence really helped with the whole birth process. Apparently my practice of presence and mindfulness helps others besides just me - quite a revelation!

This past week, the homeschooling co-op I'm a part of was having a big meeting. The group just started in the fall, and there have been some recent growing pains as we figure out how to effectively run things with over 60 families. There was some heated discussion over e-mail, and it was stated that everyone should come to the meeting and get involved. Up until now I've been teaching and helping out in practical ways (like cleaning, helping with a special event we had, donating food for a food drive, etc). I felt reluctant to enter the world of meetings and conflict and committees, but I felt it was important to attend and be a part of it. I went to the meeting reluctantly.

While I was in the meeting, though, I realized what my role was in this setting. Again, being a calm, positive presence was something I could contribute to this group, whether or not it was acknowledged as such. I left the meeting feeling inspired and called to get involved. Yes, I'll be meeting with a committee and taking notes and offering ideas, but I'll also be bringing to bear my own connection with the eternal, as best I can in each moment.

While I was trying to describe my realizations to my family, Ocean said "well, it makes sense, you always pick up on other people's emotions, why not use it to share yours?" Quester added, "oh, kind of like a reverse empath." That's it exactly! Now that I know how to center myself and be present even in a sea of feelings, I can then reverse the flow and radiate those peaceful energies.

It's not that I'm always perfect at being a shielded, centered empath. I'm still practicing that, and I've only just begun to work with this new way of using my energies, or perhaps it's a new awareness of something I've been doing unconsciously. I'm not even sure my current description of it will make much sense to anyone besides me (not that it has to, but I like to share).

This weekend, I woke up with some back pain centered between my shoulder blades. Right in the back of my heart chakra. Just where my faerie wings are attached. I was trying to figure out what was up with it, and Quester said "it's okay, it's just that your heart is opening up more." In a rush, the connection was made - opening up, emanating love and peace, being myself and sharing my gifts (even the intangible ones), with my community and the world. My heart is bursting open once again. I'm expanding. I'm excited to see where it takes me.

January Thus Far

Here's a photo essay on how our January has been thus far. It's been trucking along pretty well.

ElvenTiger officially became a teenager! She and her best friend and I all spent the day together, doing girly stuff. Then we had a family dessert gathering, with gifts, of course.

We had a yummy lunch, and a bit of dessert afterwards.

Though it left us feeling a bit full...

But then we walked around the mall, got our nails done, and the girls updated their wardrobes a bit.

Merlin is doing great. He's been going outside again, and he still loves getting Reiki from us.

Percy is his usual happy self.

Quester has been working a lot, and helping with some projects around the homestead. Dryst is enjoying learning how to create music on the computer. ElvenTiger and I have been doing a lot of reading, together and separately. She got a Kindle Touch from Grampa and Grammy for her birthday! BlackLion has been baking his delicious bread every week.

I even made myself a meal out of it, one night.

We've been doing laundry.

The days are getting longer, so there's more sunlight...

...but we're still feeling kind of loungy sometimes...

Last but certainly not least, I helped a friend as Birth Priestess while she had her lovely daughter. I made a new friend! She's called Ember Caroline - isn't that the prettiest name you've ever heard? She's so lovely.

Life is good, and I am so very thankful for all its blessings.

Cake of the Month: December (and Series Wrap-Up!)

Well, hello there! I thought I'd finally wrap up the Cake of the Month series by sharing pictures of December's cake. Also, I have a confession to make: I didn't do a November cake. I was in the middle of my sugar fast, there were no family birthdays, and so I just skipped it. I do have a bonus cake, though, which ElvenTiger and I made this month - see below for the pictures.

December's cake was a spice cake with mint frosting, made in a tree-shaped cake pan that Aunt Peg gave me. I made it for our Christmas Eve gathering at Mom's, but since that meal never really happened (because Aunt Peg fell and broke her leg that afternoon), we munched on it over Christmas week. It was pretty tasty, and I was pleased with the way it looked. I'd make it again.

We got the candy cane sprinkles at a local country store that has tons of baking stuff, along with natural and bulk food items.

ElvenTiger has decided she doesn't really care for cake. Maybe she had too much this year - oops! Anyway, for her January 14th birthday, she had chocolate cream pie made by my Mom. But for her birthday party with the homeschool group, which she shares with a friend who is also a Capricorn, we made a double-chocolate layer cake. ElvenTiger helped me decorate it.

AB isn't the cake's blood type. It's the initials of the two birthday girls (ElvenTiger is her screen name, folks). It was delicious! And that's the end of my Cake of the Month project. I'd say it was a rousing success!

I enjoyed the accountability of posting here every month to share my results. I decided that, rather than do cakes again, this year's project will be Craft of the Month. It will include collages, vision boards, knitting projects, and whatever else comes along. ElvenTiger and I will be learning needle felting and paper quilling, so perhaps some of our attempts will result in projects to share, too. Stay tuned!

Contemplation and Preparation

Mother Nature has delivered us a lovely snowy day, after a few weeks of winter without any of the white stuff. ElvenTiger is happy and excited - her 13th birthday is Saturday, and she wanted to have snow on the ground by then. I'm glad that our out-and-about plans for today were canceled, and I can settle in for some more contemplation and preparation.

Winter is a time for slowing down, for hibernating a bit and letting my dreams and goals for the year begin to percolate underneath the surface. I've been slowly working through my plan for the new cycle. I'm still on the first couple of steps - I soon realized that when you write three pages each day, that's a lot more material to read through! But I'm finding lots of gems - wisdom and insights I've gleaned over the past year, and sparkly ideas that I want to pursue during this one. I'll share once I have them in a more organized form.

We've also been preparing for ElvenTiger's birthday weekend. We're in the process of deep-cleaning and reorganizing her room. She put aside a bunch of clothes that she's outgrown, to give away and/or re-make into something new. We untangled and organized a bunch of yarn. Her best friend is coming over to spend the weekend with us, and we're going to do a girls' day out on Saturday.

We'd made the decision to have her friend over, and go out to lunch and then get their nails done and explore the mall. I asked her if there was another friend she'd like to include, and she touched my heart by saying, "well, I'd really like *you* to hang out with us." So, for the first time ever, I'm getting a manicure. These two girls are a joy to hang out with, and I'm looking forward to our girl time. We'll have a family party with dessert (chocolate cream pie, at her request) and gifts in the evening, and ElvenTiger will also celebrate with other friends next week at homeschool group.

In the meantime, I'm finishing up with my perusal of old journals, working on some research and writing for Feline Dreamers, and doing our taxes. BlackLion and the kids are out snow-blowing and shoveling, while the cats and I keep our paws dry inside. Merlin is doing well and lately he's been enjoying sitting on my lap while I give him Reiki. Sweet feline!

A Merlin Cat Update

Merlin got his wire removed from his jaw today. They had to give him anesthesia for the procedure, and he wasn't too happy about being at the vet again. When we dropped him off this morning, he was meowing and growling. I felt bad about leaving him there, but knew it had to be done.

They told us to call at 2pm and they'd let us know when he could come home. I got a call from the vet's office at 1:45pm, with the tech saying diplomatically, "Merlin would love to come home now. You can pick him up anytime." He'd been out in the back room crying and mewing! We zoomed over and got him right away - luckily we only live less than two miles from the vet's office!

They gave him a good report. His jaw is stable and his pelvis is healing just fine. They told us he could start going outdoors again after one more week, as long as he seems to be moving around normally (and he has been thus far). I'm so glad!

This evening he's been sort of loopy from the drugs wearing off. But also very loving, and so glad to be home again. I love him so much! Now he's mostly feeling sleepy. His brother Percy seems to be glad he's back home, too.

Thanks to everyone who sent prayers, good thoughts, and healing energies to Merlin! It worked!

Starcat's Ten Best Books of 2011

As promised on this week's episode of the PawedCats Podcast, here is my list of the ten best books I read in 2011. These are my favorites out of the 51 books I read last year. Please note, these aren't necessarily books that came out in 2011, just my favorites of the ones I read. They are listed in no particular order. If you'd like more information, check out the podcast!

Shadowheart: Volume Four of Shadowmarch by Tad Williams

Active Dreaming: Journeying Beyond Self-Limitation to a Life of Wild Freedom by Robert Moss

The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology by Jack Kornfield

My Life in France by Julia Child and Alex Prud'Homme

The Pleiadian Agenda: A New Cosmology for the Age of Light by Barbara Hand Clow

Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture by Shannon Hayes

The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education by Grace Llewellyn

Another Green World by Richard Grant

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life by Barbara Kingsolver

My Word of the Year: Connect

After an inspiration followed by some contemplation, my Word of the Year has announced itself to me. So I thought I'd announce it to you: blog readers, meet CONNECT. I love how it resonates on a lot of levels. I think that the core of my spiritual practice is connection with my divine source. Everything else flows from that.

That's the essence of what I mean by CONNECT, but it also includes connection with my family and friends, with community, and with nature. It encompasses the connections I want to make with new readers and clients this year, to further follow the path of my calling. It is the timeless connection of my soul with the Universe, but also the many daily connections with all the beings around me, cats and humans and trees and books and pixels and dogs and clouds and dreams and the Goddess...and oh so much more!

Happy New Year!

Tools for the Transition

For various reasons, my "quiet, introspective time" between Samhain (Halloween) and the Winter Solstice wasn't as deeply quiet as I'd hoped. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret anything, and I've been learning a lot. So, since I've also been busy this week, which is normally a time for evaluating the year past and setting goals for the year to come, I'm continuing the process.

As a Virgo, I enjoy creating a plan for such things. Many times I even follow the plan, though I like to be flexible and go with the flow. I thought I'd share with you the tools I'm using for saying goodbye to 2011 and setting intentions for an amazing 2012. Here's my plan (with links where available):

1. Re-read personal journals from 2011, and look at last year's goals list.
2. Make notes and compile lists (Tarot cards I drew the most, how many books I read, what my favorite books were from 2011, successes and failures, ideas for the coming year).
3. Do "Completing 2011" worksheet by Lisa Work at Visionary Mom.
4. Complete the Year End Ritual process by Sarah Susanka (for the first time).
5. Choose a Word of the Year and do the Word of the Year worksheet by Christine Kane.
6. Continue to do the Freedom Family course by Tara Mauger. BlackLion and I are doing the course together, and we'll have more to say about it soon.
7. Write out list of goals and make vision boards.

I'll be working on this project over the next two weeks, and I'll share some of my results with you here on the blog. Enjoy your own process of transitioning into the new year and its wide-open energies!

Joy Amidst the Chaos

Hard to believe I haven't written since before Solstice. So much has happened, and I've certainly needed my mantra of "let in the light."

Our Solstice celebration was wonderful. Leading up to it, we did a lot of preparing and creating. ElvenTiger and I in particular have had lots of fun making things this holiday season. We baked peppermint chocolate cookies for a cookie swap, knitted scarves and dishcloths and a hat (the hat was her, not me), and decorated the house. Our candy-making, which BlackLion helped with, involved needhams, peanut butter cups, peppermint bark, and chocolate-dipped candy creams. We used nearly all five pounds of chocolate chips I'd ordered from the food co-op! Ocean brought luminaries, and the backyard was a beautiful garden of lights as the celebration began. ElvenTiger lit the Solstice fire at sunset, as Quester was still on his way home from work; it was her first time as official deputy fire-keeper, and she did fantastic!

It was rainy the night of the gathering, so our ritual was short and sweet, between rain showers. But for us, the whole night, sunset to sunrise, is the ritual. This Solstice was particularly slow and contemplative. The teens mostly hung out in Dryst's room together, with an occasional foray out for food and fire-gazing. Some of the younger folks hung out and we made paper snowflakes, chatted, and they played Minecraft and other computer games together. Some new friends joined us and stayed late to visit and craft with us. We had lots of fun!

The day after Solstice was mellow, as always. We slept the morning hours away, then got up and cleaned the house, munched on leftovers, and watched a holiday movie together. Friday we did a big last-minute shopping run, supporting our local music store as we purchased gifts for friends and family.

On Christmas Eve, we went to Mom and Dad's, the guys watching the Patriots football game, ElvenTiger and I helping Mom get ready for dinner that night with my brother and his wife. Aunt Peg stopped by for drinks and munchies so she could see them, since my brother and family planned to stay home on Christmas Day this year. She had to leave around 4pm to go home and finish getting ready for the open house she has each year for her friends. When my brother went out to his car just minutes later, he found Aunt Peg on the ground. She had fallen on the icy driveway and broken her leg!

She was rushed to the hospital, and we all congregated there in the ER. Our family has a bit of, ahem, a history of medical crises happening around Christmas. So we were able to joke about it; the plan for next year is to stay home and Skype each other, and my brother is getting some t-shirts printed up saying "Practice Safe Christmas." Quester, Mom, ElvenTiger and I had Christmas dinner at Amato's at 9pm (just before they closed), because we left the hospital once Aunt Peg was resting in her room, only to discover we were all ravenously hungry. Those subs tasted mighty good.

Needless to say, our Christmas was chaotic. Mom and Dad came to open gifts with us in the morning, but we were all kind of distracted. Aunt Peg had surgery at noon on Christmas Day to put a plate in her leg (the bone was rather shattered). She is the primary caregiver for her husband, who can no longer care for himself, so we created a plan for folks to take turns staying with him, including staying with him at night. Our Christmas dinner was fragmented, as we took food next door to him, and to my Dad, who went and ate and watched basketball with him. Then we rushed off to be there when Aunt Peg awoke from the surgery. Poor Mom was exhausted.

Things have calmed down a bit. We had our Christmas with BlackLion's Mom on Monday evening, and it was very relaxing and fun. She fed us a lovely feast, and after we opened gifts together we watched my favorite Christmas movie, "White Christmas." Aunt Peg comes home tomorrow, and her husband's daughter is flying in to spend a couple weeks helping them out. We'll be over there a lot, too, helping out in whatever ways we can. One of my friends offered to cook meals for them, and has been delivering all kinds of casseroles and goodies. She's so awesome!

My favorite, and a very unexpected, physical gift was a Kindle Fire, given to me by Mom and Dad! After a conversation on Thanksgiving where Dad and I were both saying we'd love to have one, and of course the side note that Dad actually wouldn't even know how to turn on a computer, I didn't think much more about it. Dad decided that he wasn't interested in getting a wireless network and learning to use technology that he'd never bothered much with before. But apparently he wanted to grant my wish to try an e-reader. And I love it! Don't fret, dear readers, I'm not giving up conventional books, by any means. But I am really enjoying the Kindle and all its cool features, and the ability to take a whole stack of books with me anywhere, in this tidy little package.

We got lots of other awesome gifts, too, including a very cool digital photo frame from BlackLion's Mom, who is an amazing photographer. She filled it with all kinds of wonderful family photos, which made it even more special! Aunt Peg had brought over her gifts earlier, and she made me an adorable kitty napkin-holder, with the names of all our kitties past and present. So sweet! I'm so thankful for all of this abundance.

I wish I had more photos of the festivities to share, but I did get the gift of a new battery for my beloved camera, so I promise to have more pictures featured in upcoming blog posts. We made a really cool Christmas cake, and I'll be putting up the final Cake of the Month post soon.

Last but certainly far from least, Merlin cat has been healing steadily and is doing well. He's become playful at times, and he does look longingly at the door once in a while, but he's made no serious attempt to slip outside. He loves having the roam of the house, and stays close by his people much of the time.

(Merlin was helping ElvenTiger check out the Kindle. Notice her living pillow - Star dog!)

Merlin will get his wires removed at the end of next week, which I'm sure will be a big relief to him.

Both of the cats' favorite things this Yuletide, even more than the yummy treats and organic catnip, are the various boxes that other gifts came in.