Sometimes when we’re making a big change, even one that we have created and wished for and are looking forward to, doubts arise. Our old patterns push at us, wanting us to stay in the comfortable familiar rut, prodding us about what we’ll do if we’re “not successful” on the new path. We see reflections of our old beliefs, perhaps in worries about “the economy,” or stories of how people are working hard and not being able to support themselves. We witness lack.
When we’re changing our core beliefs about something, we might get to the point where we are really seeing things in a new way, and sometimes that’s when our own resistance or fear comes up. I’ve been having those doubts arise this week. Luckily, my recent practice of mindfulness has been helping me see them for what they are. Rather than attaching more worry and fear to them, I can just let them flow through me and know that they are just thoughts and feelings of the moment, not “the way things are.”
What is it I’m afraid of, beneath those surface doubts? Mostly, I think it’s just the unknown. I know it can be done, I know I can live my dreams and enjoy an abundant life full of joy and learning and writing and travel and gardening and more. But sometimes my brain gets hung up on those financial “how will I pay for it?” thoughts. And yes, I do have to consider finances, and I’m doing so in positive and creative ways. But I’m talking about the fear-based thoughts, the ones that see from a perspective of lack and restriction. Those are the ones that can just flow on through. They are not me. I know that the universe is a place of abundance and pronoia, and that by knowing that and acting from that place, I’ll attract just exactly what I need and want.
I’m learning that it’s not greedy to pursue your dreams…it’s what we’re here for. We will each do our soul’s work on our own time, in our own way, on our own timetable. And it will look different for each person. Perhaps part of me is afraid, not of failing, but of succeeding. Here’s a quote I found on someone’s e-mail signature on a spirituality and unschooling list:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” - Marianne Williamson
I’m ready for success, I really am. And, moreover, I’m already successful! I’m a mother and a writer and a joyful person and much more. I release old fears and doubts, and step forward on this path of self-discovery and creativity. My life is becoming ever more full of beauty and wonder and joy and love. My projects are flowering beyond my dreams. So mote it be!