Confession Time

I am an unusual person, with an unconventional lifestyle. I'm a legally licensed Pagan priestess. I'm a vegetarian who eats mostly vegan food. I do Reiki healing. I radically unschool my kids. I dye my hair strange colors, just for fun. I have three tattoos, and want more. I practice yoga and meditation regularly. I read Tarot cards. I'm a nouveau hippie chick who has been to 10 Grateful Dead shows and seen Phish a few times. I spent my summer vacation dressing up and re-enacting life in the Middle Ages. I love barefoot hiking. I don't take any medications (prescription or over-the-counter). There are no TVs in my home. I shop at Goodwill, and enjoy it. I recycle avidly, and prefer to use Earth-friendly products whenever possible. I am (gasp) a flaming liberal.

That was not the confession. That's pretty much me, living life out there, being who I am and not caring much about the mainstream Western consumer lifestyle.

Now, it's confession time. Some of the highlights of my week are:

- Cooking food for the big Thanksgiving feast I'm hosting at my home. Granted, I'm not cooking or eating turkey, and my dishes will be vegan. But it's comfort food, nonetheless, and I'm getting my house all ready for the big day, washing the cloth napkins and tidying away the clutter.

- Seeing the opening day showing of the movie "New Moon." And I loved it! I loved the Twilight series of books, too. I think they did a terrific job capturing the books in the two movies that they've made so far. Bella's birthday is the same day as mine, and I totally get her character. Yep, I'd be a vampire girl, too.

- I make a pretty good pie crust. My Mom taught me, and I use her recipe. But today she told me her new technique, and after trying it for the first time, I'm so psyched! You just put all the ingredients in the food processor and let it do all the work. Perfect pie crust, ready to roll out! No mess, no waste, no pastry blender. Yes!

- We just watched the finale of this season of Dancing With the Stars. No, I don't have TV, but my Mom does, and we've been watching the show together for three or four seasons now. Mya is a beautiful dancer. Donny Osmond is a consummate showman. But I must confess, I really dig Kelly Osborne. Perhaps because she's a bit freaky herself? Could be.

Now you know my dirty little secrets. Hope I'm not getting too June Cleaver for you...

Life at the Home School

I stand at the counter in the kitchen, cutting up peppers and onions to sauté and add to the black and pinto beans on the stove. As I work, I’m listening to my two kids and Sash play “Dungeons and Dragons Online.” They have a PC and two laptops going, so they can each play a character and join together as an adventuring group.

They bounce ideas back and forth, each person adding their suggestions and describing what they’re noticing, in real time. There’s a lot of teasing and joking, of course, and the occasional disagreement, but ultimately each of them takes into account the other players’ ideas and the strengths and weaknesses of their characters. As a team, they work to solve the quests presented at each phase of the game. I let the conversation wash over me, my thoughts drifting back to the many other times I’ve stood in this kitchen and listened to my kids play and learn.

A lot of cooperative computer-game-playing takes place, but also board and card games, craft projects, math worksheets, imagination games, sports strategy sessions, and discussions about books, movies, history, politics, etiquette, and a multitude of other topics. Sometimes I join in, and other times I just observe, enjoying the way their minds work and the “aha!” moments when they catch on to a new way of perceiving or doing things. I’m here as a facilitator, to answer their questions or point them to resources when they ask for them.

I feel truly blessed to be spending time with my kids every day. I get to share their childhood, their education, and their unfolding as fascinating, funny, intelligent beings. Homeschooling is a choice which does involve some sacrifice: we could certainly make more money, and have more adults-only time, if we did things conventionally. But for this family, it works. I can see the results every day, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Feline Divine

I'm always telling everyone how much I love cats - and it's all true. But why do I have such an affinity for them?

When I was a very small child, my Dad helped me start a campaign. At the time, Mom didn't care for cats (though she loves them now). Dad said, "every little girl should have a cat." We soon won her over, and they took me to a neighbor's house to pick out my very own kitten. As soon as I saw Blacky looking up at me and blinking his wide eyes, that was it. I was enchanted.

What do I love about cats? Here are just a few things, among many:

- Cats are excellent sleepers and dreamers. These babies don't mess around. They shamelessly sleep as much as they want, in the most comfy spots they can find.
- They are genuine. Cats won't come when you call them, unless they feel like it. They do whatever they want to do. Cats never do things they don't want to, just to please someone else. I admire that.
- Cats are so very beautiful! I find the feline form to be the essence of grace and poise. They are the original yogis.
- I love their soft fur and snuggles and the sound of their purring. So comforting!
- Cats are healers. If you're feeling sick or sad, they'll come and curl up close to you and prepare for a nap. They send special healing vibes through their kneading paws.
- They are royalty. The ancient Egyptians knew this. Some of us have not forgotten.
- Cats are playful. Even the oldest, most dignified cat will sometimes act like a little kitten when the mood strikes them or the moon is full. They play just for the sheer joy of it.
- All cats are independent. They enjoy their human companions, but they are also just fine on their own, thank you very much.
- They love freely. Cats aren't afraid to show you how much they adore you. When they feel like it, of course.

This Is a No-Yelling Zone

Being an empath has its good points and its downsides. I’m afraid of other people’s anger. It doesn’t much matter if it’s directed at me or not – if I’m in the same space as someone who is venting their anger, I get scared. My breath becomes shorter, my stomach tenses up, and I may even start to shake. I never learned to “not take things so personally.” My answer to that has been: “how could I not? I’m a person, aren’t I?”

I don’t know of a logical reason for my fear of anger. I’ve never been abused. I don’t go around trying to provoke people or make them upset (to the contrary – I’m more likely to try and keep the peace). For my own part, I very seldom get angry. And when I do, I make an effort to work through the emotion on my own rather than becoming confrontational.

Anger seems like a particularly volatile emotion to me. If someone is feeling sad or depressed, I’ll certainly feel those vibes, too. When that happens, I feel comfortable offering them a hug or some words of sympathy. Yet, isn’t an angry person also in the throes of some intense feeling? Couldn’t they use some assistance, too? But anger seems to be made up of a wave, pushing outward, containing a strong “don’t mess with me” message.

In the chakra system, anger is related to the solar plexus chakra, which is connected to will and fire. I’ve had an ambiguous relationship with fire. It’s an element I’ve noticed to be a bit lacking in my personality. A few years ago, I was doing some introspective work and decided to “turn up” my fire. It took me a long time to recover from the repercussions. When I more strongly asserted my will, a number of people I was close to got very angry with me and the choices I was making as I changed my approach. These were some of the same folks who had previously encouraged me to acknowledge and use my power.

Perhaps the reason I’m more sensitive to anger recently is that my inner power seems to be gaining strength once again. I could be manifesting old fears of what might happen when I assert my will. I guess that’s a pattern that I need to focus on and consciously release. I feel threatened by anger; is it because I fear my own inner power? Perhaps the fact that I seldom feel strong anger means I’ve somehow been blocking it, which could in turn be the reason that my will hasn’t been as strong as I wish. Time for some further meditation. In the meantime, this is a no-yelling zone!

A General Update

Well, it finally happened. Day 9 of the blog challenge, and I'm at a loss for what to write about. Huh. I guess I'll just give a general update, for you, my loyal readers.

The kittens, Merlin and Percy, are now 10 months old. I think they're nearly full grown. They're beautiful! They like to snuggle, explore the outdoors, and they still enjoy playing. I can't tell if they miss their Uncle Mystick or not. But I sure do.

How about a goals review?

So, here are the things I decided to focus on this year:

1. Writing. This is the year to become a published author. The vegan pagan cookbook is finished, as far as content goes, and will be sent out to prospective publishers soon. BlackLion and I will be publishing our core belief kit this spring, and we also plan to finish The Book of Ing. More to come! So far, so good. I don't know if any of the books will come out this year, but I hope that we'll have an offer from a publisher by the end of the calendar year. I've certainly been doing more writing this year than before, which is cool in and of itself.

2. Yoga. I will continue to focus on and refine my daily yoga practice. I will include more meditation as well. I'd like to try new types of meditation, and attend more yoga workshops and retreats. Yoga is going very well. I've included some meditation, and I've been learning a lot from my reading about the Buddha. No workshops or retreats as yet, but I'm working on prosperity, so that will help.

3. Drumming. I will practice my drumming regularly, and perhaps take some lessons. I plan to play more gigs as well as play for friends and family. We (Feline Drummers) have played a bunch of fun gigs, with more to come! I love to drum. I had a couple of informal lessons from the Freakwitch drummer, which was fun.

4. Art. I am going to explore my creativity through various arts. One that I really enjoy is collage. I'd like to try some new forms, too. I've made several collages this year, and had fun doing them. I did explore a bit of other arts and crafts, but would still like to learn new methods.

5. I'm not sure what to call this one, though it encompasses love, joy and gratitude. I will tune in to the sacredness of everything. I am further exploring my spirituality, and having fun doing so. I will ENJOY life! This is going particularly well, especially over the past few weeks. For Samhain, I released fear and worry, and that's helped me to relax and enjoy myself more.

OK, if you're bored by this entry, I formally apologize. I'll have something more interesting to say tomorrow. Promise.

Mmm...Pasta (for a Good Cause)

Our homeschool group is called the Maine Wholeschoolers (see below for more information about who we are and what we do). On Thursday, December 3rd, we're having a Spaghetti Supper as a fundraiser. We're great cooks, and the menu will feature a delicious tomato sauce, meatballs if you want them (kept separate so we can serve vegetarians and vegans too), pasta, bread, butter, a green salad, and a delicious dessert buffet. Yum!

The Supper will be held at the West Gorham Union Church (190 Ossipee Trail/Route 25, Gorham) starting at 6pm. We'll have a couple of different seatings, so if 7pm works better for you, no problem.

The price is right: advance tickets are $6/adult, and $2/kid ages 3-12 (kids under 3 eat for free). If you buy your tickets at the door, it's $8/adult and $3/kid.

We also have raffle tickets available ($1 each, or 6 for $5). The winners will be drawn during dessert (but you don't have to be present to win). The fabulous prizes include a professional massage from LaWind Wellness, gift certificates from WholeHeart Yoga Studio and Sun Salutations Yoga Studio, paintings by local artists, toys, and much more.

As promised, more about us: Maine Wholeschoolers is a Gorham-based weekly support group for eclectic homeschooling families in southern Maine. We believe children learn best when they live full and active lives as part of a supportive culture of all ages. We’re raising money to help fund field trips, finance community service projects, provide scholarships for classes, and purchase supplies such as lab equipment and books.

If you want to attend the Spaghetti Supper, buy raffle tickets, or make a donation, please contact me. You can leave a comment here, find me on Facebook, or e-mail me at starcatdreamer at yahoo dot com. We do take Paypal! :) Please help support a great community of families!

Psst, Pass It On

I’m blessed with a vibrant community. I know many types of people who have a wide variety of interests and outlooks on life. My Facebook friends list tells the tale. Look closely and you’d see overlapping ripples of people who know each other in varying contexts.

There’s a core group of homeschool families, the Maine Wholeschoolers, who meet weekly (and often more frequently) for fun and learning. There is the wider group of homeschoolers in our geographical area of southern Maine, who stay connected by e-mail lists and share information about classes, play dates, and other events. I’m also part of an active online group of unschoolers who share an interest in alternative parenting and using the Law of Attraction in our lives.

My group of friends who were in the Unnamed Coven for several years still celebrate some of the Pagan holidays, along with getting together individually or in smaller groups. I’ve been active in the Maine Pagan community for two decades now, and I’ve met numerous people through my membership in groups and attendance at events. Some of these are the EarthTides Pagan Network, Spiral Scouts (some of whom also fit into the homeschool category), the Maine Pagan Clergy Association, Popham Beach Beltane, and more recently the Red Temple.

I’ve gotten to know several of the members of BlackLion’s Goth and SCA communities. These folks are very creative, strange and fun to hang out with. Some of them are also Pagan and/or homeschool their kids.

Add to that my family connections, their friends, and people I went to school with years ago – wow! What an amazing network of cool, creative and truly interesting beings. There are commonalities; most of them are liberal, arts-minded, progressive folks who like to read and value education. Which brings to mind yet another set of people – my former colleagues at MPBN, and the listeners and volunteers I got to know during my years working there.

As a writer, and a friend to artists, musicians, activists, actors, and others whose work involves sharing their creations with others, I see a huge potential for networking and sharing those creations (as well as information and other resources). I’m excited about the way things are going on the internet, with people connected through Facebook and similar social networking sites. Rather than the top-down method of broadcasting entertainment and information from the few to the many, do-it-yourself tools like YouTube and weblogs are enabling us to share our creativity to a wider circle, without having to wait until we get noticed by the “big” media guys.

Yes, I’d love to have my books picked up by a big publishing house and reach the New York Times best-seller list. And now I’m more empowered to work up to that by writing blog entries and articles, working with smaller publishing companies to help market my own projects, and coming up with an exciting website or e-mail newsletter that will spread virally through the appropriate niches on the internet. That’s what Mike Dooley created gradually with his “Notes from the Universe” e-mails, and his latest book hit the best-seller list practically the moment it was released.

I want to tap into that energy, and be able to share my work with those who would be most interested in it. That starts now, with you, the wonderful readers of this blog. Thanks for being here, and stay tuned!

The Red Temple

I just came home from the third meeting of a new group for Pagan women here in Maine: The Red Temple. It was started by a friend who decided to invite a diverse group of women to get together each month on the new moon. We gather for conversation, group projects, and (of course) snacks.

I love being involved in a women-only spiritual group like this! I met some wonderful new women tonight, and was delighted to catch up with a woman who had been in a 6-week class with me last spring. The meetings are set up so that you can attend when it's convenient, and there's no problem missing a meeting if that day doesn't work for you. The meeting is held on whatever day the new moon happens to fall on; I love having it based on the lunar cycle rather than an arbitrary day of the week (which might be a day when some women have ongoing commitments to another activity).

Our founder and hostess is thoughtful and kind, and she always has interesting questions to spark discussion. The women are wise and funny and willing to share themselves and their stories. Sometimes we do art projects together, or meditations, or just sit and talk (and laugh). I've learned something new at each of the meetings, and am able to share information that I've encountered on my path. One of the new women found us online as she was seeking for local Pagans, and it was cool to see her taking in the vibes.

I'm thankful to be part of this new group, and I hope it will flourish!

Original Bliss

I attended the fall meeting of the MPCA today. One of the things we talked about was the need for the leaders of groups and rituals to be responsible for the well being of all the participants. The discussion was sparked by the events at a sweat lodge in Arizona last month, where two participants died and several others were injured. We wondered how to help raise awareness of the responsibilities of clergy. I volunteered to write an article for the MPCA website; it will include a list of questions for Pagan clergy to reflect upon as they plan an event or start a new group. We’ll also, thanks to another member of the community, provide links to other useful resources.

As part of our conversation, we talked about the differences between Pagan religion and New Age spirituality. As it happens, I’ve written an article about the similarities between the two, which I’ve posted here. To me, the most obvious similarity is the impulse to explore a personal, individualized spirituality, rather than adhere to religious dogma.

In exploring the differences, though, Pagan scholar and author Michael York was cited at the meeting. He apparently (I’ve yet to read his work) divides religions into four groups: Abrahamic (Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc.), dharmic (Buddhists, Hindus, etc.), secular (which would include New Age philosophies), and Pagan. The difference between Pagans and those in the other categories, according to York, is that we don’t believe in the idea of original sin, or that there’s anything inherently wrong with creation.

That gave me some food for thought, and explains in part why I’ve long considered myself a Pagan who studies Buddhism and New Age practices (among other things). I believe that everything is as it should be. We are, of course, capable of self-improvement and aspiring to create more positive experiences for ourselves and others. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with being ourselves and living our lives on this planet/plane of existence. We don’t need to be saved from ourselves or from evil forces.

I don’t buy into the concept of “sin.” The challenges that we face and the actions we may take that we later view as “mistakes” will help us learn new lessons and become more complex beings. We humans have a natural impulse to learn and grow. We are, at the deepest levels, full of hope and joy and love. Yes, it may be buried under despair and rage and hatred. Yet even the darkest lessons, I feel, can inspire us to change, to reach out, to open ourselves to the beautiful Universe that surrounds and suffuses us. Instead of original sin, how about original bliss?