"The flow of creativity feels like an avalanche of joy and wonder. Being open to that possibility creates connections with everything." - Feline Dreamers

Friday, November 20, 2009

This Is a No-Yelling Zone

Being an empath has its good points and its downsides. I’m afraid of other people’s anger. It doesn’t much matter if it’s directed at me or not – if I’m in the same space as someone who is venting their anger, I get scared. My breath becomes shorter, my stomach tenses up, and I may even start to shake. I never learned to “not take things so personally.” My answer to that has been: “how could I not? I’m a person, aren’t I?”

I don’t know of a logical reason for my fear of anger. I’ve never been abused. I don’t go around trying to provoke people or make them upset (to the contrary – I’m more likely to try and keep the peace). For my own part, I very seldom get angry. And when I do, I make an effort to work through the emotion on my own rather than becoming confrontational.

Anger seems like a particularly volatile emotion to me. If someone is feeling sad or depressed, I’ll certainly feel those vibes, too. When that happens, I feel comfortable offering them a hug or some words of sympathy. Yet, isn’t an angry person also in the throes of some intense feeling? Couldn’t they use some assistance, too? But anger seems to be made up of a wave, pushing outward, containing a strong “don’t mess with me” message.

In the chakra system, anger is related to the solar plexus chakra, which is connected to will and fire. I’ve had an ambiguous relationship with fire. It’s an element I’ve noticed to be a bit lacking in my personality. A few years ago, I was doing some introspective work and decided to “turn up” my fire. It took me a long time to recover from the repercussions. When I more strongly asserted my will, a number of people I was close to got very angry with me and the choices I was making as I changed my approach. These were some of the same folks who had previously encouraged me to acknowledge and use my power.

Perhaps the reason I’m more sensitive to anger recently is that my inner power seems to be gaining strength once again. I could be manifesting old fears of what might happen when I assert my will. I guess that’s a pattern that I need to focus on and consciously release. I feel threatened by anger; is it because I fear my own inner power? Perhaps the fact that I seldom feel strong anger means I’ve somehow been blocking it, which could in turn be the reason that my will hasn’t been as strong as I wish. Time for some further meditation. In the meantime, this is a no-yelling zone!

2 comments:

Lisa Marie said...

Nig, think about our tattoo. YOU chose to get YOURS in green and on the back. I chose to get MINE in red and on the front. There's so much symbolism there, so much indicative of how we wanted to use that power in this life. But the most important thing is that we got it on our HEART chakras. The way I view it is this:

- Mine symbolizes my desire to understand the power I have and to use it from a place of love. When I feel anger, I am working on using that Fire energy as a CONstruct, not a DEstruct.

- Yours (and this is totally my interpretation... I appreciate that you have your own) is about using that Fire energy in a way that fosters growth and fertility; hence, the green. You also got it on your back because you're working on letting stuff roll off you. Our backs are our defenses. They're the best place to be hit, so to speak, because they're tough and aren't as open.

What would you think of you and I doing some magickal work around our tattoos? I can't believe we haven't before!

In greatest love and respect... Me

Witchy Mom's Homeschool said...

Not that I am advocating you change your policy on "no yelling", but to address the anger part...have you had any work done on your bottom 2 chakra's? Also, your throat could probably use some work, too, if you're wanting to be able to express yourself when you are feeling some angry thoughts.

I know you have reiki folks around you, but if you need an extra - I'm just down the road from you a'spell (and I do not believe in charging my friends - energy exchange is fine...and, since you gave me your beloved salsa recipe, I'd be happy to consider that a fair exchange for a reiki session). Perhaps after the new year? :)