Being an empath has its good points and its downsides. I’m afraid of other people’s anger. It doesn’t much matter if it’s directed at me or not – if I’m in the same space as someone who is venting their anger, I get scared. My breath becomes shorter, my stomach tenses up, and I may even start to shake. I never learned to “not take things so personally.” My answer to that has been: “how could I not? I’m a person, aren’t I?”
I don’t know of a logical reason for my fear of anger. I’ve never been abused. I don’t go around trying to provoke people or make them upset (to the contrary – I’m more likely to try and keep the peace). For my own part, I very seldom get angry. And when I do, I make an effort to work through the emotion on my own rather than becoming confrontational.
Anger seems like a particularly volatile emotion to me. If someone is feeling sad or depressed, I’ll certainly feel those vibes, too. When that happens, I feel comfortable offering them a hug or some words of sympathy. Yet, isn’t an angry person also in the throes of some intense feeling? Couldn’t they use some assistance, too? But anger seems to be made up of a wave, pushing outward, containing a strong “don’t mess with me” message.
In the chakra system, anger is related to the solar plexus chakra, which is connected to will and fire. I’ve had an ambiguous relationship with fire. It’s an element I’ve noticed to be a bit lacking in my personality. A few years ago, I was doing some introspective work and decided to “turn up” my fire. It took me a long time to recover from the repercussions. When I more strongly asserted my will, a number of people I was close to got very angry with me and the choices I was making as I changed my approach. These were some of the same folks who had previously encouraged me to acknowledge and use my power.
Perhaps the reason I’m more sensitive to anger recently is that my inner power seems to be gaining strength once again. I could be manifesting old fears of what might happen when I assert my will. I guess that’s a pattern that I need to focus on and consciously release. I feel threatened by anger; is it because I fear my own inner power? Perhaps the fact that I seldom feel strong anger means I’ve somehow been blocking it, which could in turn be the reason that my will hasn’t been as strong as I wish. Time for some further meditation. In the meantime, this is a no-yelling zone!