Last night, for some reason, I was feeling sort of down and discouraged. I'm not sure where it came from, but I was feeling disappointed about things in general. I convinced myself that I was going right into a downward spiral, and that this morning I wouldn't even want to get out of bed.
It wasn't true. I woke up to a lovely sunny day, feeling hopeful and pretty much like my usual self. When I did my daily journal writing, I did a bit of exploration of what the feelings were, and what they were about, just in a curious sort of way. Sometimes I find that my emotions can be a mystery. This being human thing is so complex and unfathomable.
I want to share a couple of passages from my journal entry with you: "I am a balanced rock, teetering a bit between discouragement and empowerment. Last night I wondered, 'What if the Universe really doesn't want me to do this?' - this being my calling, our Feline Dreamers stuff, the life of the imagination. And how would I tell?" Followed by, after more exploration, "Now that I've been writing it out I feel better, but in a strange sort of way, like I am in that balanced-rock equilibrium, and it feels somehow right. I like it. It's weird. What an odd creature I am." When I drew my Tarot cards for the day, sure enough, one of them was the Equilibrium card. I wasn't surprised.
I decided to give myself the day off. I've gotten really caught up lately in getting the word out about Feline Dreamers, trying to make it successful, and as they say, when you own your own business you don't (necessarily) have days off. Today has been a day of playing games (Skip-Bo, Set, and a SuDoku board game), having a lovely lunch with BlackLion's Mom, doing cut-out cards, making salsa, and watching a couple episodes of Glee, which I'd never seen before. Quiet family time is a delight. I'm resting my soul, and it's all part of the balancing act.