Cleanse Complete!

Oops. I guess I've wandered away from the regular updates about the raw food cleanse! Well, it was a busy but fun week, and it's been going well. Now we're on day ten of ten, so I guess it's pretty much complete.

On Monday, I got a bit bored with the food I was eating, but just shrugged and went along with it. My Mom was so sweet. I had asked if we could have a big salad when we came over for dinner, and not only did she do that (along with making soup, rolls, and pudding for the rest of the crew), but she also made me a lovely and delightful fruit plate for dessert. Asian pear, Grannysmith apple, Empire apple, and red grapes. She's awesome. But I knew that already.

Tuesday and Wednesday were fine, and I made up a new recipe. I was making our usual spaghetti sauce for the family and some friends, so I also made a raw version for BlackLion and I. It had tomatoes, onion, garlic, olives, mushrooms, a touch of olive oil, and spices. I put it in the food processor, then chilled it for a while so the flavors could merge. Because of the black olives, it looked like some kind of raspberry sauce! We ate it over spiralized zucchini, and it was delicious. We had the leftovers on Wednesday.

Today was co-op, and I was busy running around. We had a smoothie in the morning, and for lunch we brought dehydrated kale chips with a tahini-based dip, and some dried fruit. For dinner I had an avocado and some leftover raw strawberry pie that BlackLion made.  I'm eating a lot less than I used to, both in terms of calories and actual portion sizes.

I've lost five pounds over the ten days. I'm not ready to commit to going all raw food, mostly because it's a lot of work, especially when the family isn't eating the same way. But I'm definitely going to keep a lot of raw food in my diet, and will continue to eat less in general and focus on healthy eating. I've been reading "Three Steps to Incredible Health" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, and learning a lot about nutrition. I'd say this has been a successful cleanse. Thanks for reading along!

A Blessful Weekend

Well, I was going to write either "blessed" or "blissful" in the title, and ended up combining the two. I think it works well as a description. I've been having lots of fun!

Saturday BlackLion and I celebrated our anniversary, and also Cinco de Mayo! We started our day with a yummy green smoothie. We did a bit of shopping for fruits and veggies, then headed down to Exeter, NH to the Grand Opening of the Good Karma Cafe! It's a new vegan and raw cafe that is just delightful. BlackLion and I are going to blog about it tomorrow over at the Feline Dreamers website, if you'd like to know more. Suffice it to say that we had a very tasty raw Mexican-themed lunch (with a decadent raw dessert), and then walked all around the adorable town of Exeter.

We came home and hung out with the kids after that, and had some light raw snacks for dinner. We watched the movie "Green Lantern," which was fun. We've been enjoying the superhero movies lately, and are looking forward to going to see "The Avengers" soon.

Today was the annual Beltane on the Beach celebration at Popham Beach State Park. The whole family went. We had a fabulous time enjoying the wonderful people, the gorgeous sunshiney day, and some groovy drumming. There was also a bardic circle, and we got to see a lot of folks we haven't seen in quite a while. I was happy to see that, alongside the pasta salads and desserts, a lot of folks had brought fresh fruits and veggies to the potluck. We brought a green salad to share. After a whole day at the beach, BlackLion and I had rehearsal with the Dark Follies troupe. Also fun, but after such a busy weekend I'm feeling like I need some down time!

Having just about completed day 6 of the raw food cleanse, I'm feeling great. Took nice walks both yesterday and today, and had plenty of energy. I haven't kept track of my water consumption, but I feel like I've had plenty of liquids in general. I'm off to bed to rest and read. Sweet dreams to you!

Am I Rusty?

Woke up to lots of rain again today. The trees and plants are loving it! I enjoyed giving a Reiki session this morning, followed by doing some chores and then working on my book. The cats were in and out, and Percy came and snuggled on my lap for a while when I was writing. Rainy day bliss!

Later in the day I felt a bit physically weak, like I was perhaps low on iron. Perhaps my iron doesn't like the rain - maybe it got rusty. Anyway, I snacked on some dried fruit, and had a spinach salad for dinner, and that helped.

We had a lovely Full Moon ritual tonight, even though we had to be indoors and couldn't actually see the moon's light. We'd made a yummy fruit salad to share, so that's what we had afterwards, along with some almonds and dried apricots. The bread and cheese that were also available looked good, but I chose to stay raw. Oh, and by the way, I've already lost four pounds! Off to bed. We have a fun day planned for tomorrow, but you'll have to wait and hear about it later. Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Resting Today

It's day 3 of the raw food cleanse, and you might be sick of hearing about it already, heh heh. This morning I woke up feeling a bit dizzy and not really ready to face the day. But it is Thursday, which means our homeschool co-op day, so I got ready and we headed out. I was feeling very low-energy for much of the day. Some of it is probably due to the time of the month (sorry if that's TMI), as well as detoxing because of the cleanse. Or perhaps it's just the combination that got me down. I was in good spirits for the most part, just moving more slowly than usual. Breakfast was a smoothie, and lunch was salad and a banana. It wasn't even a big salad, but I felt super full after eating it, and even a bit nauseous. I'm not sure what that was about.

After a busy day at the co-op, I came home feeling very tired and hungry. BlackLion made me a smoothie, and then I took a nap. When I woke up, I did some meditation while I was still lying in bed. Then I got up and made vegetable curry for the family. It wasn't hard to cook it and not eat it. It smelled good, but I didn't really want any. Brent and I had kale salad and a piece of a raw frozen pie that he created. It was good. It tasted kind of like oatmeal with fruit. It was one of those nut-and-date crusts, with bananas and strawberries as the filling. Yum!

I was revived a bit after that, and did some stuff online. I don't think I drank as much water today, but I was already feeling pretty liquidy, so I think that was fine. It's been nice having an evening of rest. Leave a comment and let me know what you think of the daily updates. It's a different format for me, but I'm finding it fun to blog about the process I'm going through. Blessings!

Cleansing is Going Well

I had the thought that the raw food cleanse might be hard for me to do. But so far, it's been easy and wonderful. I think my body was really ready. All of the foods I'm eating taste so delicious, and I'm feeling perfectly full even though I'm eating a lot less than I have been. I had a salad for dinner. It was spinach, tomato, cukes, avocado, red onion, and olives, with a homemade dressing, and it tasted like the most fantastic thing I'd ever had!

The water drinking is also going just fine. Yesterday I had 64 ounces, and today I easily drank the whole 100 ounces which is sort of a goal ("sort of" because if I don't do it, no big deal). Yes, I'm visiting the bathroom a lot (the tiny bladder thing), but I figure that means I'm getting rid of a lot of toxins, so that's fine.

Emotionally I've been doing well, too. Yesterday I felt great all day and got a lot done. Worked on creative projects, did housework, all kinds of stuff. I felt joyful and light. This morning I woke up feeling energized and positive. I had a busy day of house stuff and errands, which all went smoothly.

Tonight was our weekly homeschool group. It was a bit overwhelming being around lots of people, but nothing I couldn't handle. Lately I've been better able to stay true to myself in a crowd than I used to be, anyway. Being an empath, I used to absorb a lot of the energies of others and be drawn away from my center. But for the most part I've learned not to do that, and now I enjoy hanging out with friends in groups. It does take energy to maintain, though, so as I write this, I'm feeling a bit tired and ready to chill out for the evening (especially since I have homeschool co-op tomorrow, so even more people!). I thought I might feel triggered about food, since we do a big potluck dinner on Wednesday nights and everyone would be enjoying various cooked and sweet foods. But that was no big deal at all, and as I mentioned above, I loved the salad I brought for myself. That's all for now. Good night!

Crafting a Spring Cleanse

Today is Beltane, or May Day, which I think is a rather auspicious day to begin a spring cleanse. What cleanse am I doing? Well, one that BlackLion and I are making up as we go along, of course (we invited Quester to join us too, but he politely declined).

When we went to the Life Rocks! conference, we encountered a whole lot of folks who are interested in healthy eating, with a focus on raw foods in particular. We'd experimented a bit with raw foods a few years ago, but not for long, and not in any big way. At the time, it had felt like a huge commitment, with lots of rules and judgement, extra work, and hefty financial costs. I just wasn't up for that. But now I'm realizing that, like anything, we can take on raw foods and cleansing on our own terms, in our own way. So we're going to do just that.

We're starting with a cleanse of ten days. We'll eat raw foods - veggies, fruits, nuts - with a particular focus on liquids - smoothies, fresh juices, water, perhaps some raw soups (warmed to 105 degrees in the dehydrator - which will be an experiment). We don't have a high-speed blender, but we do have some other cool stuff, like a nice dehydrator (purchased used during our first raw food foray), a veggie spiralizer, and a good food processor. I also plan to drink a bunch of water. One person recommends 100 ounces of water per day, but that seems like a bit more than I can manage with my tiny bladder. We'll see.

My goal is to bring my physical energy into better alignment with my whole being. I gained quite a lot of weight over the past three years or so, and much of it was due to emotional crisis. I've moved beyond that set of feelings (which centered around the transformation into following my calling, and releasing related doubts and fears) and my life is a lot of fun, full of creativity and joy. So I want to release those old toxins, patterns, and pounds. I figure a cleanse will help jump-start the process, and then I can move forward with healthier eating habits from there.

I believe that the physical realm is one aspect of the wholeness of my spirituality, so there are other things I'm doing to support myself during the cleanse: yoga, continued meditation practice, reading inspiring books, listening to my affirmations, speaking kindly to myself and others (the being kind to *me* is the hard part, sometimes), and getting plenty of rest. Wish me luck!

Oh yeah, and here are a couple of links to blogs that I'm using as inspiration:

The Macro-Raw Foodist
Raw Envy with Dayna Martin

I'll be posting updates on how it's going, so if you have particular questions, please leave a comment! Blessings!

Yes, I'm Still an Introvert

I started off life as a very shy introvert. Over the years, I've overcome much of my shyness. I love parties and events with lots of people, I speak comfortably in front of a group, and I enjoy performing. But I'm definitely still an introvert.

No, shyness and introversion are not one and the same. As I understand it, introverts recharge their mental, emotional, and spiritual energies by having time alone to be quiet and reflective. Extroverts are revitalized by spending time with others in conversation and collaboration. Conversely, introverts can be drained by too much time in social settings, while too much time by themselves can deplete an extrovert. There is, of course, a lot of variety along the spectrum of personalities.

After a very full and busy three days of social gatherings and outings, I'm feeling drained, for certain. I need time to be at home, quietly enjoying my down time. I will recharge by taking time for some writing, reading, and reflection. I enjoyed all of the activities I did this weekend, and wouldn't go back and undo any of them. Yet I can tell by my mental tension, a slight touch of emotional irritability, and some physical droopiness, that it's time to regroup. And I'm starting right now. A cup of tea and a book of sci-fi short stories await me. Enjoy your evening!

Empowered Birth: My Story

This is Empowered Birth Awareness Week. I heard about it on Facebook (which is a source of many intriguing things I might not have heard about otherwise) and decided to help spread the word. What is empowered birth? Basically it's the notion that moms and families should be the ones to make decisions about how to give birth, not hospitals or doctors or other organizations. This doesn't mean rejecting the use of medical assistance for birth, but rather using it as a tool that we access when it is necessary.

Believe me, I appreciate the availability of Western medicine. My firstborn, my son, who just turned 15, was delivered by emergency c-section. When I was pregnant with him, Quester and I carefully researched all our options. We decided to give birth in the hospital, with the help of a nurse-midwife. We wanted a natural labor, without medication, and we had other ideas that we felt were helpful, such as playing music we chose, having a friend who is a massage therapist on hand, and the like. We created a birth plan and shared it with our nurse-midwife and the local hospital (we lived in central Maine at the time). Yet due to the large size of Tristan's head, and the fact that he was posterior, he got stuck. He was delivered on a Friday night, well Saturday technically, because it was 2:31am when he finally emerged into the world.

A couple years later, I became pregnant with my daughter. We were now living in southern Maine, and contacted two nurse-midwives with a respected practice in Portland. I had done more reading, and knew I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean). The nurse-midwives confirmed that the reasons for the Cesarean were particular to that situation. They also, when I told them my son's birth story, opened my eyes to becoming even more empowered. During the long labor I was having, and despite my birth plan, one of the nurses had several times offered me pain medication. At the time, I was very focused, and just said "no thanks." But when I told the story, the two nurse-midwives turned to look at each other in shock. "That's SO unethical!" one of them breathed. Offering pain drugs to a mother who's in the vulnerable space of intense labor, I could now see, was indeed not a very empowering thing to do.

These two nurse-midwives were wonderful throughout my pregnancy, and helped me deal with the emotional as well as practical notion of waiting for my daughter to be born. She was a week overdue, and they calmly reassured me that she would be born when she was ready. The birth itself, again in a hospital, was smooth and as easy as possible. I felt very supported, and was able to do much of my labor at home. My daughter too was posterior for a while, but with the support of my midwife, I relaxed about it, and my daughter turned all on her own, about an hour before she was born. When she at last emerged, I recall being surprised when they put her on my belly. "Wow, she's really here!" I felt really powerful and strong, being able to deliver her naturally after my previous experience.

Whether you decide on a hospital birth, doctors, midwives, doulas, or doing it all on your own at home, I think the key to empowered birth is making your own decisions. Do the research, listen to your intuition, check with trusted advisers, and have a backup plan. And then think about the lineage of mothers throughout the ages, trusting their bodies, giving birth as part of the natural order of our humanity. Choose what works best for you and your family, and many blessings to you!

If you want to learn more, check out this link.

Getting Fit

I've written about wanting to lose weight before, and my intuitive knowledge that, for me, it's more about the mindset than the practical aspects. I've been continuing my study and practice of mindfulness and presence recently, and that's helped me feel ready to move forward in getting more fit.

Part of my struggle, as I've written in the past (and I've actually gained quite a bit of weight since writing my post on Lightening Up), is with stress. And specifically, with the stress associated with poverty and financial insecurity. The presence practice is helping me with that, so recently I've felt ready to move forward. I've been doing yoga regularly (on my own, at home, an average of three times a week) since late March. We had a rainy spring, so I wasn't active as much as I'd hoped.

Now it's summer. Since our money struggles mean we can't afford a vacation, I decided that since we live in Vacationland already, we'd spend our summer doing fun things that don't cost (much or any) money. And lots of them help with fitness, as well. This last week we've been swimming several times (in ponds, the river, and the ocean), taken walks, picked strawberries, and gone bike riding. It's fun, the weather has been great, and I feel much better about my body.

Last month I overcame my fears that I don't look good enough to wear a swimsuit - well, my absolute love of swimming helped with that one. BlackLion and I just added push-ups to our daily sit-ups routine. Of course, I'm only doing five push-ups, and those are modified, but it's a start. We've been doing 100 crunch-style sit-ups every day for over a year, and those were a struggle at first but they're now second nature.

Now I just need to maintain my momentum. And that's a matter of practice. I haven't even been looking at the scale - that's not my priority at the moment. The main thing is just to move, to play, to feel good in my body. To improve my fitness on all levels - physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Intuitive Dream Healing

I’ve been working with my dreams over the past several months. I’m keeping a dream journal and noticing how my intuition provides answers, cloaked in dream images, to the questions and challenges in my life. It’s a rewarding process. It helps me to go deeper into areas where I need to learn new tools and lessons, as well as connecting me more strongly with my creativity and spirituality.

Over the past week, I’ve noticed an interesting new dream phenomenon. After my weekend intensive workshop, I noticed one morning when I woke up that I’d been dreaming of one of the other workshop participants – I’ll call her Ella (all names are changed to protect privacy). I’ve gotten to know her better over the past year or two and have done other magickal work with her. I didn’t have a memory of us doing anything in particular in the dreams, just her presence and an echo of her name and energy. It made sense at the time – I’d been thinking of her because we’d just been in sacred space together and because I like her.

A couple of days later, I had a similar experience with another woman, who I’ll call Kelly. She’s an acquaintance of mine. We met once at a party and struck up a casual Facebook friendship based on a shared sense of humor and attitude. I hadn’t been in touch with her lately, but the echo of her name remained in my mind when I woke up. She wasn’t in any of my actual dreams, but it was as if, after each dream ended, her name arose and I re-focused on her, then went on with the next dream. It’s a bit hard to explain, but she was like a thread running through my sleep time.

Last night it happened again, this time with a colleague of mine, who I’ll call Bette. This time I knew she had been in a difficult situation, but I wasn’t particularly focused on her before I went to sleep, so it wasn’t a conscious effort. Some subconscious part of me must have wanted to help, because this time it felt more like I’d been sending her healing energy as I slept. Again, she didn’t show up in the dreams themselves, but after each sequence, her name and energy returned to my dreaming self (strongly enough so I recalled it upon waking). I think I’ve been doing some kind of spontaneous intuitive dream healing.

When I do energy work, I make sure to ask for permission before sending someone healing. I guess I can’t really do that if I’m not conscious of what I’ll be doing in advance! Though I don’t think it’s harmful, because of course their subconscious selves have to allow the energies in order to be influenced by them. In fact, I think the whole experience is kind of cool. It’s also interesting that it has happened primarily with acquaintances or colleagues, rather than close friends or family members. I wonder if I could do dream healing more purposefully, by focusing on someone (who has given their okay) before I go to sleep. I think perhaps some experimentation is in order! Anyone want to be the recipient?

Food Labels

Last week Dryst and I went to a BBQ sponsored by his soccer league. We knew the menu involved hot dogs and hamburgers and had been asked to bring a bag of chips to contribute. When it was time to eat, I filled my plate with green salad, a bit of pasta salad, Sun chips, and some fresh fruit. I grabbed a bottle of water and sat down on the grass to eat. While I was enjoying my simple meal, I had a realization.

I've been a vegetarian for many years now and both my kids were raised that way from birth. They've each maybe tried fish once or twice, and that's it. But a few years ago, I would have felt unfairly ignored at such an event. My friends and I would have, faced with a similar situation, brought some veggie burgers and asked the guys at the grill to prepare them for us or at least packed some food in a cooler that we could have. I was pleased to realize that, instead of making a fuss, I could easily meet my own needs at such an event, enjoying a simple salad and fresh fruits.

Rather than labeling ourselves, which is a human tendency, I think it may work better to simply eat what appeals to us. Our food needs evolve as we grow and change throughout our lives. There are many people in my life who have recently made big adjustments to their eating habits: a family who ate primarily vegetarian or vegan for years recently added local meats to their diet; my Dad changed his entire way of eating after a heart attack two years ago; and a woman now craves (and enjoys) eggs after not being able to tolerate them for years of vegetarian eating. After a recent illness, I've re-introduced yogurt to my primarily-vegan diet (see, there's that label thing again!), and it's working well for me.

I think when we limit ourselves to a label based on what we eat, while the shorthand is sometimes helpful, we can put ourselves in a box where some foods are "bad" and some are "good." I personally have no plans to eat meat (because it doesn't appeal to me at all), but the addition of some yogurt or butter to what I eat doesn't mean I'm a "bad vegan." I eat what my body asks for and, like everyone, that changes and shifts over time.

And with this relaxed self-definition, I feel more comfortable allowing myself to eat what feels right, without worrying what anyone else thinks about it. It feels great! Why stop at food labels? Maybe there are other self-designed boxes I can simply step outside...

Taking Health for Granted

Several years ago, my Mom was in a severe car accident. She was in the hospital, mostly in intensive care, for two months, followed by two more months in rehab, and some follow-up surgery a year later. As a result, she still has some trouble with her right hip and leg, and uses a cane.

This summer I went with my parents to visit a cemetery where one of our ancestors (who died around 1712) is buried. I use the term "cemetery" loosely - it is actually a burial ground on what was the family land, now privately owned and undeveloped. My parents have been working on our family genealogy for years, but they hadn't yet visited this site.

It involved a trek into the woods with two women from the local historical society who knew where the gravestones were. The entire walk to the cemetery was about half a mile, which to me seemed like a short stroll. But because of the uneven terrain, Mom had to pause frequently to rest and I could tell it was a strain for her.

After we had checked out the stones and taken lots of pictures, and after Mom took a rest on a stump, we started to head back. We realized that we'd been walking down a long gradual slope, so the journey back to the cars was uphill. Mom had an even bigger struggle getting back and was relieved when she could sit down. She took a pain pill and admitted she hadn't been sure at times if she could make it back! Yet before the medicine could even kick in, she was saying how excited she was to have seen the grave site, and how glad she was that she had come!

It was an "aha!" moment for me. I realized how much I take my mobility for granted and I made sure to express my gratitude for it. You see, I'm blessed to be very healthy the vast majority of the time. I don't take any medications, I eat healthy foods prepared from scratch, and I get plenty of exercise. I've avoided injuries and don't have any chronic conditions. And I'm thankful.

Even more so when things don't go as planned. Just recently I've been facing some health issues (let's just say female plumbing problems and leave it at that). I had to take antibiotics, which for various reasons I don't like to do, and I've felt really...well, ill. This situation has brought me a greater-than-usual dose of compassion for those who struggle with health issues and even more gratitude that I'm usually feeling quite well. As my condition has gradually improved, I've resolved to not only stay healthy, but to stay grateful as well.