Starcat's Study

Goals for 2012

2012-02-11T15:46:00.003-05:00

Well, here we are several weeks into the new year, so I thought that sharing my goals with you might be good. Or actually, a bit overdue! I've had them written in draft form in my notebook for a while, and have been working and playing with some of them. And my 2012 Word of the Year, which is CONNECT, is already rocking my world! I think 2012 is shaping up to be an amazing, fantastic ride!

I liked the way I arranged them last year, by elements, so I kept that format this time. Here they are! Tah dah! Please feel free to comment on them, or to post some of your 2012 goals in the comment section. I'd love to hear them!

Air: I write and publish books and e-books. I am a helpful and encouraging unschool facilitator for my kids. I write, memorize, and perform a speech or prose poem. I create art and share it with others. I read and study sacred yogic texts.

Fire: I use the power of my will to succeed in my writing, my callings, and my business, Feline Dreamers. I use affirmations to increase my self-love and confidence. I agree to participate in events and projects only if they feel like a passionate “yes!” to me. I release habits, people, and situations which no longer serve me.

Water: I nurture myself regularly. I use my empathy and intuition to serve my community. I connect more deeply with my spirit guides and dream allies. I re-read my recent dream records and work creatively with them, employing new dreamwork techniques.

Earth: I spend time outdoors in Nature. I listen to my body’s innate wisdom and follow the suggestions I receive. I use herbal remedies and holistic practices to increase my wellness. I support myself and my family with money earned through my creative work.

Spirit: I continue my daily practice of meditation, mindfulness, and presence. I practice hatha yoga regularly. I spend time in sacred space, both alone and in community. I create a personal Wheel of the Year and represent it with art I create. I update my shrine and altars regularly.

My Heart Bursts Open

2012-01-30T13:12:00.001-05:00

Back in the fall, I had a great session with a good friend who is also an astrologer. In fact, it was my birthday present from him. He gave me a personal forecast for the coming year, and in the process he listed several dates when the energies of each transit or conjunction would "peak."

This past week, I was looking through my notebook for something and I came across my notes from the session. The first "peak" for this calendar year was January 20th - which is the day when baby Ember was born! And it certainly was a powerful experience, being present for her entry into this world.

When Ember's Mom asked me to be with her during labor and delivery, she said "I'd like to have your calm, positive energy in the room." I was so very touched and honored, and of course agreed to help my friend. I'd never been a birth coach before, and since the process started sooner than her due date, I didn't have as much time to prepare as I would have liked. At times during the labor, I doubted whether I was helping much. I didn't really know what to say to encourage her. So I focused on things like bringing her juice and breathing and holding the space. I did what I could physically, which didn't seem like much, but I also focused on being present for her and the baby. I did a lot of energy work and, in retrospect, sort of a projecting of my own centeredness, though I wouldn't have known how to describe it at the time.

After the birth, my friend and her midwife both complimented me on the aid I provided. They felt my calm presence really helped with the whole birth process. Apparently my practice of presence and mindfulness helps others besides just me - quite a revelation!

This past week, the homeschooling co-op I'm a part of was having a big meeting. The group just started in the fall, and there have been some recent growing pains as we figure out how to effectively run things with over 60 families. There was some heated discussion over e-mail, and it was stated that everyone should come to the meeting and get involved. Up until now I've been teaching and helping out in practical ways (like cleaning, helping with a special event we had, donating food for a food drive, etc). I felt reluctant to enter the world of meetings and conflict and committees, but I felt it was important to attend and be a part of it. I went to the meeting reluctantly.

While I was in the meeting, though, I realized what my role was in this setting. Again, being a calm, positive presence was something I could contribute to this group, whether or not it was acknowledged as such. I left the meeting feeling inspired and called to get involved. Yes, I'll be meeting with a committee and taking notes and offering ideas, but I'll also be bringing to bear my own connection with the eternal, as best I can in each moment.

While I was trying to describe my realizations to my family, Ocean said "well, it makes sense, you always pick up on other people's emotions, why not use it to share yours?" Quester added, "oh, kind of like a reverse empath." That's it exactly! Now that I know how to center myself and be present even in a sea of feelings, I can then reverse the flow and radiate those peaceful energies.

It's not that I'm always perfect at being a shielded, centered empath. I'm still practicing that, and I've only just begun to work with this new way of using my energies, or perhaps it's a new awareness of something I've been doing unconsciously. I'm not even sure my current description of it will make much sense to anyone besides me (not that it has to, but I like to share).

This weekend, I woke up with some back pain centered between my shoulder blades. Right in the back of my heart chakra. Just where my faerie wings are attached. I was trying to figure out what was up with it, and Quester said "it's okay, it's just that your heart is opening up more." In a rush, the connection was made - opening up, emanating love and peace, being myself and sharing my gifts (even the intangible ones), with my community and the world. My heart is bursting open once again. I'm expanding. I'm excited to see where it takes me.

January Thus Far

2012-01-24T22:01:00.000-05:00

Here's a photo essay on how our January has been thus far. It's been trucking along pretty well.

ElvenTiger officially became a teenager! She and her best friend and I all spent the day together, doing girly stuff. Then we had a family dessert gathering, with gifts, of course.

We had a yummy lunch, and a bit of dessert afterwards.

Though it left us feeling a bit full...

But then we walked around the mall, got our nails done, and the girls updated their wardrobes a bit.

Merlin is doing great. He's been going outside again, and he still loves getting Reiki from us.

Percy is his usual happy self.

Quester has been working a lot, and helping with some projects around the homestead. Dryst is enjoying learning how to create music on the computer. ElvenTiger and I have been doing a lot of reading, together and separately. She got a Kindle Touch from Grampa and Grammy for her birthday! BlackLion has been baking his delicious bread every week.

I even made myself a meal out of it, one night.

We've been doing laundry.

The days are getting longer, so there's more sunlight...

...but we're still feeling kind of loungy sometimes...

Last but certainly not least, I helped a friend as Birth Priestess while she had her lovely daughter. I made a new friend! She's called Ember Caroline - isn't that the prettiest name you've ever heard? She's so lovely.

Life is good, and I am so very thankful for all its blessings.

Cake of the Month: December (and Series Wrap-Up!)

2012-01-22T17:40:00.001-05:00

Well, hello there! I thought I'd finally wrap up the Cake of the Month series by sharing pictures of December's cake. Also, I have a confession to make: I didn't do a November cake. I was in the middle of my sugar fast, there were no family birthdays, and so I just skipped it. I do have a bonus cake, though, which ElvenTiger and I made this month - see below for the pictures.

December's cake was a spice cake with mint frosting, made in a tree-shaped cake pan that Aunt Peg gave me. I made it for our Christmas Eve gathering at Mom's, but since that meal never really happened (because Aunt Peg fell and broke her leg that afternoon), we munched on it over Christmas week. It was pretty tasty, and I was pleased with the way it looked. I'd make it again.

We got the candy cane sprinkles at a local country store that has tons of baking stuff, along with natural and bulk food items.

ElvenTiger has decided she doesn't really care for cake. Maybe she had too much this year - oops! Anyway, for her January 14th birthday, she had chocolate cream pie made by my Mom. But for her birthday party with the homeschool group, which she shares with a friend who is also a Capricorn, we made a double-chocolate layer cake. ElvenTiger helped me decorate it.

AB isn't the cake's blood type. It's the initials of the two birthday girls (ElvenTiger is her screen name, folks). It was delicious! And that's the end of my Cake of the Month project. I'd say it was a rousing success!

I enjoyed the accountability of posting here every month to share my results. I decided that, rather than do cakes again, this year's project will be Craft of the Month. It will include collages, vision boards, knitting projects, and whatever else comes along. ElvenTiger and I will be learning needle felting and paper quilling, so perhaps some of our attempts will result in projects to share, too. Stay tuned!

Contemplation and Preparation

2012-01-12T12:40:00.001-05:00

Mother Nature has delivered us a lovely snowy day, after a few weeks of winter without any of the white stuff. ElvenTiger is happy and excited - her 13th birthday is Saturday, and she wanted to have snow on the ground by then. I'm glad that our out-and-about plans for today were canceled, and I can settle in for some more contemplation and preparation.

Winter is a time for slowing down, for hibernating a bit and letting my dreams and goals for the year begin to percolate underneath the surface. I've been slowly working through my plan for the new cycle. I'm still on the first couple of steps - I soon realized that when you write three pages each day, that's a lot more material to read through! But I'm finding lots of gems - wisdom and insights I've gleaned over the past year, and sparkly ideas that I want to pursue during this one. I'll share once I have them in a more organized form.

We've also been preparing for ElvenTiger's birthday weekend. We're in the process of deep-cleaning and reorganizing her room. She put aside a bunch of clothes that she's outgrown, to give away and/or re-make into something new. We untangled and organized a bunch of yarn. Her best friend is coming over to spend the weekend with us, and we're going to do a girls' day out on Saturday.

We'd made the decision to have her friend over, and go out to lunch and then get their nails done and explore the mall. I asked her if there was another friend she'd like to include, and she touched my heart by saying, "well, I'd really like *you* to hang out with us." So, for the first time ever, I'm getting a manicure. These two girls are a joy to hang out with, and I'm looking forward to our girl time. We'll have a family party with dessert (chocolate cream pie, at her request) and gifts in the evening, and ElvenTiger will also celebrate with other friends next week at homeschool group.

In the meantime, I'm finishing up with my perusal of old journals, working on some research and writing for Feline Dreamers, and doing our taxes. BlackLion and the kids are out snow-blowing and shoveling, while the cats and I keep our paws dry inside. Merlin is doing well and lately he's been enjoying sitting on my lap while I give him Reiki. Sweet feline!

A Merlin Cat Update

2012-01-06T22:02:00.001-05:00

Merlin got his wire removed from his jaw today. They had to give him anesthesia for the procedure, and he wasn't too happy about being at the vet again. When we dropped him off this morning, he was meowing and growling. I felt bad about leaving him there, but knew it had to be done.

They told us to call at 2pm and they'd let us know when he could come home. I got a call from the vet's office at 1:45pm, with the tech saying diplomatically, "Merlin would love to come home now. You can pick him up anytime." He'd been out in the back room crying and mewing! We zoomed over and got him right away - luckily we only live less than two miles from the vet's office!

They gave him a good report. His jaw is stable and his pelvis is healing just fine. They told us he could start going outdoors again after one more week, as long as he seems to be moving around normally (and he has been thus far). I'm so glad!

This evening he's been sort of loopy from the drugs wearing off. But also very loving, and so glad to be home again. I love him so much! Now he's mostly feeling sleepy. His brother Percy seems to be glad he's back home, too.

Thanks to everyone who sent prayers, good thoughts, and healing energies to Merlin! It worked!

Starcat's Ten Best Books of 2011

2012-01-04T15:45:00.000-05:00

As promised on this week's episode of the PawedCats Podcast, here is my list of the ten best books I read in 2011. These are my favorites out of the 51 books I read last year. Please note, these aren't necessarily books that came out in 2011, just my favorites of the ones I read. They are listed in no particular order. If you'd like more information, check out the podcast!

Shadowheart: Volume Four of Shadowmarch by Tad Williams

Active Dreaming: Journeying Beyond Self-Limitation to a Life of Wild Freedom by Robert Moss

The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology by Jack Kornfield

My Life in France by Julia Child and Alex Prud'Homme

The Pleiadian Agenda: A New Cosmology for the Age of Light by Barbara Hand Clow

Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture by Shannon Hayes

The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education by Grace Llewellyn

Another Green World by Richard Grant

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life by Barbara Kingsolver

My Word of the Year: Connect

2012-01-02T21:18:00.001-05:00

After an inspiration followed by some contemplation, my Word of the Year has announced itself to me. So I thought I'd announce it to you: blog readers, meet CONNECT. I love how it resonates on a lot of levels. I think that the core of my spiritual practice is connection with my divine source. Everything else flows from that.

That's the essence of what I mean by CONNECT, but it also includes connection with my family and friends, with community, and with nature. It encompasses the connections I want to make with new readers and clients this year, to further follow the path of my calling. It is the timeless connection of my soul with the Universe, but also the many daily connections with all the beings around me, cats and humans and trees and books and pixels and dogs and clouds and dreams and the Goddess...and oh so much more!

Happy New Year!

Tools for the Transition

2011-12-31T13:29:00.000-05:00

For various reasons, my "quiet, introspective time" between Samhain (Halloween) and the Winter Solstice wasn't as deeply quiet as I'd hoped. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret anything, and I've been learning a lot. So, since I've also been busy this week, which is normally a time for evaluating the year past and setting goals for the year to come, I'm continuing the process.

As a Virgo, I enjoy creating a plan for such things. Many times I even follow the plan, though I like to be flexible and go with the flow. I thought I'd share with you the tools I'm using for saying goodbye to 2011 and setting intentions for an amazing 2012. Here's my plan (with links where available):

1. Re-read personal journals from 2011, and look at last year's goals list.
2. Make notes and compile lists (Tarot cards I drew the most, how many books I read, what my favorite books were from 2011, successes and failures, ideas for the coming year).
3. Do "Completing 2011" worksheet by Lisa Work at Visionary Mom.
4. Complete the Year End Ritual process by Sarah Susanka (for the first time).
5. Choose a Word of the Year and do the Word of the Year worksheet by Christine Kane.
6. Continue to do the Freedom Family course by Tara Mauger. BlackLion and I are doing the course together, and we'll have more to say about it soon.
7. Write out list of goals and make vision boards.

I'll be working on this project over the next two weeks, and I'll share some of my results with you here on the blog. Enjoy your own process of transitioning into the new year and its wide-open energies!

Joy Amidst the Chaos

2011-12-29T23:55:00.002-05:00

Hard to believe I haven't written since before Solstice. So much has happened, and I've certainly needed my mantra of "let in the light."

Our Solstice celebration was wonderful. Leading up to it, we did a lot of preparing and creating. ElvenTiger and I in particular have had lots of fun making things this holiday season. We baked peppermint chocolate cookies for a cookie swap, knitted scarves and dishcloths and a hat (the hat was her, not me), and decorated the house. Our candy-making, which BlackLion helped with, involved needhams, peanut butter cups, peppermint bark, and chocolate-dipped candy creams. We used nearly all five pounds of chocolate chips I'd ordered from the food co-op! Ocean brought luminaries, and the backyard was a beautiful garden of lights as the celebration began. ElvenTiger lit the Solstice fire at sunset, as Quester was still on his way home from work; it was her first time as official deputy fire-keeper, and she did fantastic!

It was rainy the night of the gathering, so our ritual was short and sweet, between rain showers. But for us, the whole night, sunset to sunrise, is the ritual. This Solstice was particularly slow and contemplative. The teens mostly hung out in Dryst's room together, with an occasional foray out for food and fire-gazing. Some of the younger folks hung out and we made paper snowflakes, chatted, and they played Minecraft and other computer games together. Some new friends joined us and stayed late to visit and craft with us. We had lots of fun!

The day after Solstice was mellow, as always. We slept the morning hours away, then got up and cleaned the house, munched on leftovers, and watched a holiday movie together. Friday we did a big last-minute shopping run, supporting our local music store as we purchased gifts for friends and family.

On Christmas Eve, we went to Mom and Dad's, the guys watching the Patriots football game, ElvenTiger and I helping Mom get ready for dinner that night with my brother and his wife. Aunt Peg stopped by for drinks and munchies so she could see them, since my brother and family planned to stay home on Christmas Day this year. She had to leave around 4pm to go home and finish getting ready for the open house she has each year for her friends. When my brother went out to his car just minutes later, he found Aunt Peg on the ground. She had fallen on the icy driveway and broken her leg!

She was rushed to the hospital, and we all congregated there in the ER. Our family has a bit of, ahem, a history of medical crises happening around Christmas. So we were able to joke about it; the plan for next year is to stay home and Skype each other, and my brother is getting some t-shirts printed up saying "Practice Safe Christmas." Quester, Mom, ElvenTiger and I had Christmas dinner at Amato's at 9pm (just before they closed), because we left the hospital once Aunt Peg was resting in her room, only to discover we were all ravenously hungry. Those subs tasted mighty good.

Needless to say, our Christmas was chaotic. Mom and Dad came to open gifts with us in the morning, but we were all kind of distracted. Aunt Peg had surgery at noon on Christmas Day to put a plate in her leg (the bone was rather shattered). She is the primary caregiver for her husband, who can no longer care for himself, so we created a plan for folks to take turns staying with him, including staying with him at night. Our Christmas dinner was fragmented, as we took food next door to him, and to my Dad, who went and ate and watched basketball with him. Then we rushed off to be there when Aunt Peg awoke from the surgery. Poor Mom was exhausted.

Things have calmed down a bit. We had our Christmas with BlackLion's Mom on Monday evening, and it was very relaxing and fun. She fed us a lovely feast, and after we opened gifts together we watched my favorite Christmas movie, "White Christmas." Aunt Peg comes home tomorrow, and her husband's daughter is flying in to spend a couple weeks helping them out. We'll be over there a lot, too, helping out in whatever ways we can. One of my friends offered to cook meals for them, and has been delivering all kinds of casseroles and goodies. She's so awesome!

My favorite, and a very unexpected, physical gift was a Kindle Fire, given to me by Mom and Dad! After a conversation on Thanksgiving where Dad and I were both saying we'd love to have one, and of course the side note that Dad actually wouldn't even know how to turn on a computer, I didn't think much more about it. Dad decided that he wasn't interested in getting a wireless network and learning to use technology that he'd never bothered much with before. But apparently he wanted to grant my wish to try an e-reader. And I love it! Don't fret, dear readers, I'm not giving up conventional books, by any means. But I am really enjoying the Kindle and all its cool features, and the ability to take a whole stack of books with me anywhere, in this tidy little package.

We got lots of other awesome gifts, too, including a very cool digital photo frame from BlackLion's Mom, who is an amazing photographer. She filled it with all kinds of wonderful family photos, which made it even more special! Aunt Peg had brought over her gifts earlier, and she made me an adorable kitty napkin-holder, with the names of all our kitties past and present. So sweet! I'm so thankful for all of this abundance.

I wish I had more photos of the festivities to share, but I did get the gift of a new battery for my beloved camera, so I promise to have more pictures featured in upcoming blog posts. We made a really cool Christmas cake, and I'll be putting up the final Cake of the Month post soon.

Last but certainly far from least, Merlin cat has been healing steadily and is doing well. He's become playful at times, and he does look longingly at the door once in a while, but he's made no serious attempt to slip outside. He loves having the roam of the house, and stays close by his people much of the time.

(Merlin was helping ElvenTiger check out the Kindle. Notice her living pillow - Star dog!)

Merlin will get his wires removed at the end of next week, which I'm sure will be a big relief to him.

Both of the cats' favorite things this Yuletide, even more than the yummy treats and organic catnip, are the various boxes that other gifts came in.

Keep Letting in the Light

2011-12-20T14:47:00.000-05:00

This is the darkest time of year for those of us in the northern hemisphere, with the longest nights and shortest days. The sun is at its lowest point. This month, it's also the dark of the moon. The solar and lunar energies are at an ebb. Your energy level may mirror this, reflecting what's going on in nature. That's the paradox of this time of year - just when you feel most like hibernating and getting introspective, parties and gifts and holiday preparations demand your attention and time.

I woke early in the morning yesterday, while it was still dark. Worries and to-do lists whirled through my mind. I tossed and turned, wanting to return to sleep, but overcome by anxious thoughts. Reverting to my most basic practice, I steadied my breathing, focusing on the exhales, the inhales. My intuition spoke to me: "Just keep letting in the light," it said.

When a cat is in the dark, its pupils dilate wide enough to make use of whatever tiny speck of light is present. We can do that with the energy around us. When you wonder how you'll ever afford the holidays, let in the light. When you feel frenzied, trying to get everything done on time, let in the light. When you're missing loved ones who have passed beyond the veil, let in the light. When you're sore and tired, let in the light. When the bills pile up, let in the light.

Soon the sun will return, and the moon will begin to wax and glow again. The days will lengthen, and our energy levels will begin to rise once more. In the meantime, consider adopting this mantra, to help you remember to open up and enjoy where and who you are: just let in the light.

A Taste of Freedom

2011-12-19T11:57:00.001-05:00

We were finally able to let Merlin have free roam of the house. He still can't go outside for a few weeks, until the wires come out of his jaw, but he seems content to have more space to roam. He asked to go out once, rather politely, but was fine when we told him he had to stay inside.

He's been exploring a bit, and finding new places to nap. He and his brother did some snuggling, something they haven't done much since they were kittens. So adorable!

We're supposed to keep an eye on him and see if he seems sore or stiff, or limps at all, now that he has access to stairs. If he does seem sore, as the vet said, he goes "back in the hole for another week." I'm hoping he'll be just fine and can enjoy his greater freedom. Maybe he'll even sleep under the Christmas tree, like Percy does.

The Tree is Up!

2011-12-13T14:28:00.000-05:00

We decided on a theme this year - all of the ornaments are either homemade or handmade. Well, except for the candy canes we added, but I expect those will be eaten before too long. I love how it looks. So festive! Merry merry!

The Merlin Report

2011-12-12T09:36:00.000-05:00

We got a good report on Merlin cat at the vet this morning! His jaw is staying in place and healing well, so no further surgery is necessary. YAY!!! We just have to check the wire, which is around his bottom teeth, to make sure it continues to stay in place. He'll get it removed in four or five weeks.

His "cage rest" (bed rest) continues for another week, then after that he can move around the house. The doc said that if he seems stiff or sore after we let him roam around the house and use the stairs, then he should go "back in the hole" for another week. Heh. He seems to be moving around better now, so I think his pelvis is healing.

He was very feisty this morning and didn't want to be in the box heading to the vet. He had this adorable mew-growl thing going on, and was poking his paws out. He didn't feel well enough to do that before, so that's a good sign too.

Thanks SO much for all the prayers, good wishes, and healing energies for our beloved feline family member! I'm so grateful and feel so blessed.

The Way Energy Can Linger

2011-12-11T22:44:00.000-05:00

I have a tale to tell on this moonlit winter night. It's a true story, and it shows how connected we can be, the mysterious nature of life, and the way energy can linger. It's about my wonderful Mom, and she has kindly given her permission for me to share the story here.

Several years ago, my Mom was in a terrible car accident, four days after Christmas. She was in intensive care for nearly two months, had many surgeries and rampant infection, and was kept in a coma for much of the first part of her hospitalization. When she recovered, she had two more months of rehab, follow-up surgery the next year, and lots of complications that she lives with to this day. She's been called a miracle by more than a few folks, doctors included.

After she recovered, she had no memory of that year's Christmas, which we were told is not uncommon for people who have been through a serious trauma. She and Dad went to see the movie "Cold Mountain" the night after Christmas, but she didn't remember, and didn't really believe us until she later found the movie ticket stub in her coat pocket. Although Mom loved coffee before her accident, she hasn't had any since - she just doesn't like it anymore, at all. Our theory is that, since she was on her way to work at the time and always had a travel mug of coffee along on her commute, the smell of the spilled coffee must have a strong negative association in her brain.

Mom has always loved Christmas. It's her favorite holiday. Last week, she called me up and offered me a puzzle to figure out: since her accident, she's noticed, there is one Christmas task that she just can't stand. She used to love decorating her tree, but now it is something she puts off, and the feeling associated with it is one of dread and sorrow. She asked me if I had any idea why. She had also asked her sister the same question. So I started thinking about it.

The theory I came up with, upon reflection, is this: when she was in intensive care, I often did errands for Dad, who pretty much lived at the hospital during that time. After the New Year had come and gone, Dad said that he needed to take the Christmas tree out of the house, as the needles were getting really dry. He asked for help with the tree trimmings. So I went to their house, alone, to take down all the ornaments and the lights. I remember the feeling of that day. We didn't know if Mom was going to live or not. Christmas is her holiday, and I felt I might never get to share it with her again. As I put the ornaments away, recalling past holidays, I was sad and crying. I packed them away carefully, apparently along with a large dose of my sadness. I think Mom has been sensing that energy, and picking up on those feelings. She and I have always been close, and are often on the same wavelength. Long before cell phones and caller ID, we always knew when the phone rang if the other one was the caller.

Aunt Peg, who had noticed Mom's reluctance to decorate the tree, independently came up with the same theory, though she didn't recall who had put the ornaments away. She just knew that Mom hadn't done it herself, and that there was a lot of fear and sadness in the family just then.

The theory feels right to all three of us. This year, after the New Year, we're all going to gather and joyfully put away the ornaments, infusing them with new positive memories. I'll bring a smudge stick along, to cleanse the leftover sad energy. Isn't it amazing how energy can linger, and how people who are connected can pick up on each others' feelings, even many years after the event?

Being a Heart-Centered Entrepreneur

2011-12-06T09:58:00.001-05:00

When I don't know how to do something, I study it. I've discovered in my studies of the past few years that there are many of us out here who are heart-centered entrepreneurs, creating purpose-based businesses. We want to help others, and to find ways to support ourselves and our families while doing what we're called to do. We're creative and inspired and passionate. This means finding what is known as one's "right livelihood." It also means finding new models of doing business, as the old ones just aren't a good fit for us.

But getting the word out about one's business still involves some form of the dreaded "marketing." The whole concept pushes my buttons a bit. It runs up against my long-held issues about being liked. I've released a lot of those concerns already, particularly as I entered my fourth decade a couple of years ago. Yet for some reason, selling my wares feels like a whole new level of vulnerability. I worry about upsetting my readers, my cherished audience, my "peeps." I don't want to be sales-y.

BlackLion and I are following the teachings of respected folks who teach about purpose-based business, like Christine Kane, Jonathan Mead, and Mike Dooley (we found some of Robert Kiyosaki's material interesting, but a bit too ruthless for our taste). We've been gradually working to build the trust of our readers and listeners over time, giving away lots of terrific free content, and creating products for sale that are targeted to the needs and desires of our niche audience.

Some people have told us that the economy just isn't good, that no one has extra money for luxuries like self-help kits. That may be true for some folks, and I certainly empathize, but it's not the whole story. Christine Kane herself, and many of her clients, are successfully making a living while helping uplift others so they too can live their dreams. We've learned so much from just the free material Christine Kane offers, and you can bet that when we have the spare cash, we're going to invest in her programs as well. We already have our own plans in place for how we'll continue to serve the community once our coaching services take off - a certain number of paying clients each quarter will be grouped with free and sliding-scale coaching that we'll make available. The plan is to make a good living in an ethical and caring manner.

Yet still I hesitate, which it comes to the part about asking folks to spend their money on us. It won't do any good to be well-liked if I'm out on the streets with no home in which to base my business - and those wolves seem to be getting ever closer to the door. In the survey we're doing, healing sessions are right up there in terms of valued services, yet I've had almost no response to my Reiki business. It really must be a matter of getting the word out more. If this sounds like I'm giving myself a pep talk, I am. But I'm not the only one who has these fears of self-promotion, particularly among the women I know.

I don't think Brent and I are overly pushy, and perhaps we're not even close to assertive enough. As the deadline approached for the initial discount we were giving on the 30-Day Core Belief Kit, I ramped up my courage and wrote direct e-mails to a few folks who I thought might really benefit from the kit. I was apologetic about even mentioning it, and one friend replied, "Whenever you worry about this, I hope you remember that some form of horn blowing is the only way to get the word out about this terrific resource."

I think people do understand that online contacts and social media are often used to promote small businesses. When I get free e-newsletters or read blogs, I enjoy the content, and the part where they make the sales pitch doesn't bother me. Many times I'd purchase the e-book or kit or whatever myself if I had the means. And I will, when I have the means. As Christine Kane points out, we're creating the new economy here, skipping the heartless big biz plastic products and selling to each other. Building ethical businesses, reaching out online, buying fair-trade and organic, shopping locally, and treating each other with respect. There must be room for positive marketing in this new, awakening world view.

It's Update Time

2011-12-05T12:26:00.000-05:00

First things first - Merlin cat had his jaw repaired this morning. They are finished, and we're supposed to call back in a little while to find out when we can pick him up. Thanks SO much for all your good wishes for our sweet black kitten! Please keep the healing energies coming as he continues on his path back to full wellness.

I also wanted to update you on a new hobby of mine: knitting. My Mom and her sister are excellent at knitting (and sewing, crocheting, and many other creative arts). ElvenTiger learned how to knit when she was six (from Grammy, of course) and is co-teaching a homeschool knitting class. Me? I'd been convinced for a long time that anything involving thread, string, or yarn is beyond me. Not that I don't have my own crafty talents, mostly involving paper, pens, glue, and scissors, but I thought the gene for fiber arts had skipped me entirely. Or that my cat nature made me tend to tangle up string rather than organize it.

But ElvenTiger insisted that I keep trying, and now I must say I'm starting to enjoy knitting! I'm on my third project. I can't tell you what they are, or share any pictures, until after the holidays. But I'm merrily humming along making knitted gifts. They're not perfect, but they're made with love!

In other homesteading updates, BlackLion has been making our family's bread for the past couple of months. He has a wonderful sourdough starter that he's been nurturing, and I've gotten into the habit of buying flour rather than loaves of pre-sliced bread. His bread is far more delicious, and has less ingredients. A friend pointed out to us one day this summer that the "healthy" whole wheat bread we were buying had high-fructose corn syrup in it. Huh? That was when we got interested in making bread for the family once again.

Yesterday ElvenTiger and I made laundry detergent, something we learned at our homeschool co-op. We added some lavender essential oil to make it smell lovely. I'm very pleased with it. We were gifted with a bunch of late-season apples last week, and Quester made applesauce. Almost everyone is getting into the homesteading thing - except Dryst, who isn't much for cooking or arts and crafts. He's a teenage boy, though, so he's an enthusiastic consumer of all the foods we make! Last night we made Indian food, sort of a nav rattan korma (mixed veggies), which everyone loved. I made my own curry blend, but of course I just did it on the fly, without measuring or writing down the recipe. It figures that would be the one everyone likes best! Perhaps I can replicate it, if memory will cooperate.

The cutout cards are coming along nicely, and I've started thinking about what edible goodies I'll make for the holidays. Quester has been working on candles, and BlackLion is contemplating some cordials. Oh, and we just released a new e-book over at the Feline Dreamers site. We're feeling rather creative around here! Hope your holiday preparations are going well, too.

Making Holiday Cards

2011-12-04T14:40:00.001-05:00

Yesterday ElvenTiger and I went to my Mom's to make holiday cards together. In the spirit of the Saturday's Artist project on the Ordinary Life Magic blog, I thought I'd share some pictures of the results. Yes, I realize it's Sunday so I'm a day late, but that's just the way I am. And the actual crafting was done on Saturday, so maybe that counts!

Mom and Aunt Peg have gathered a wonderful collection of stamps and papers and cutting tools and ink and all kinds of other terrific stuff. I'm so glad they're happy to share it with us. We were laughing about Mom needing to add on a whole new room in her house just for card-making supplies!

Here's a sampling of the cards ElvenTiger and I made together. I apologize for the not-so-good photo quality. My camera needs a new battery, and the one I was using (BlackLion's) isn't as familiar to me.

First a couple of Winter Solstice cards. I love this one, although the photo doesn't really do it justice. To get the sparkly effect, we stamped and then embossed.

For this one, we created the 8-pointed star using origami paper and a technique a new friend just taught us.

Here's a Christmas card we made using the embossing technique, stamps and some ribbon.

My Mom got a cool new jingle bell punch. I wish I had photos of some of the great cards she's been making with it! Here's a holiday card I made with it.

And finally, here's me having some fun with a more contemporary look and a snowflake punch.

Making cards is so much fun, and an awesome way to get your creativity flowing. It was especially joyful hanging out with Mom and ElvenTiger, and enjoying a yummy lunch break (make-your-own sub sandwiches, salt and vinegar Kettle chips, and sugar-free apple tart for dessert) in the middle of our day of crafting.

Survey Says...

2011-12-02T14:39:00.000-05:00

As a Virgo, I love filling out surveys. I know, it's kind of odd. I even love those just-for-fun survey type things that get passed around on e-mail every so often. It's just about the only type of e-mail forward I'll take part in, unless I'm feeling insecure and pass one along to avoid the curse that comes with some of them. I wish they wouldn't do that. But I digress.

So imagine my excitement now that BlackLion and I have just created our first survey for Feline Dreamers, using Survey Monkey! What's even better than taking a survey? Creating one and then checking out the results!

If you're interested in personal growth and spirituality, and enjoy filling out surveys (or perhaps don't mind giving up a couple of minutes of your time to help us out), please click here. We're using the replies to craft the offerings and wares we create for you in the coming weeks and months.

Thanks! And blessings to you whether you play along or not. No curses here!

Journal Writing and Self Expression

2011-12-01T21:33:00.000-05:00

I've been teaching a journal-writing class at our homeschool co-op. I've been a journal keeper for years and years, and have written about it a bit, but never taught a class before. It's been a lot of fun putting together the classes and exercises. I'm thinking of teaching the class for a potentially larger audience, maybe as an adult-ed offering first, to fine-tune it further, and then perhaps as an online course. The topic matter would be an easy one to do online. I could make videos and provide worksheets and readings (and a playlist for the class where we wrote to various types of music, which the girls seemed to enjoy).

It's a topic I know a lot about, and have experience with, and one that I don't really need credentials for, other than my years of hands-on practice. What do you think? Would any of you be interested in such a course? Leave a comment or drop me a line.

I'm still gaining experience as a heart-centered entrepreneur, and want to find things that will serve a need as well as help me with making a living. I really want to make this work! I have no shortage of ideas, it's just a matter of 1. finding topics that fill a need, 2. finding the people who are interested in them, and 3. making time to create them. I can handle #3 with no problem. I'm still working on the others. In the meantime, I'm letting my creative energies flow.

P.S. Thanks for all the good wishes, prayers, and energies for Merlin cat! I truly appreciate it and am very touched by the response. He is doing well today and sleeping a lot. He loves it when we cuddle him and give him Reiki. Sweet cat boy.

Healing for Merlin Lovecat

2011-11-30T18:43:00.000-05:00

We've been having quite an intense time in the family since I last wrote. Merlin (who can be seen in the picture at the top of this blog) apparently got hit by a car this weekend. He was acting weird on Saturday morning, moving slowly and not eating, but not crying or mewing. That night and on Sunday, he stayed inside and slept a lot and still wasn't eating, and we thought he was sick. We brought him to the vet first thing Monday and discovered that he has a broken jaw and a very bruised up pelvis and liver (and maybe heart)! Monday morning passed like an eternity, while they were doing x-rays and blood work to see if more than his jaw was broken, and if he'd survive the trauma he'd been through.

I felt like such a bad cat Momma for not seeing how messed up he was, and for not knowing he'd been in an accident. He doesn't usually go near the road, since we live rather set back from it. And this cat, by choice, is a very outdoorsy fellow, almost a barn cat. We usually only see him outdoors in the warm weather, unlike his brother Percy, who (again, by choice and temperament) is more of a house cat. Since Merlin is so very independent, how could we have known? Thankfully Quester was in the barn on Saturday morning and disturbed Merlin's nap, and Merlin then came home to rest. Otherwise we may not have known something was wrong for even longer. He apparently also has a rather high pain tolerance. I knew he was a tough kitty, but wow. I guess we'll never know the story of where he was and what happened - he's not talking.

Merlin was very lucky that more wasn't broken, they said at the vet's office, and he has to have "cage rest" (i.e. bed rest) for 4 weeks. It's already become very challenging for this outdoors-loving cat! They said a small room was fine, just no stairs or outdoors, so we have him in ElvenTiger's room. He's eating okay now (very soft wet food) and sleeping well. We're hopeful he'll recover fully, as he's young and healthy. We've been providing lots of snuggles and Reiki (I have him in my bedroom tonight, and he's snuggled up against my leg as I type this on the laptop).

He has to have jaw surgery next Monday, as they wanted to give his liver and heart some time to heal before surgery. Please send some healing energies Merlin's way.

Little Epiphanies

2011-11-25T20:51:00.000-05:00

I was having an interesting conversation with Quester this morning. We were talking about how some folks prefer to socialize one-on-one, some like small groups, others enjoy large gatherings, and various combinations of those options. He mentioned a good friend of ours who said she would rather be either with one or two friends, or at a big party where she can focus on just one or two of the other guests at a time. Small or medium sized groups, on the other hand, seem way too chaotic and confusing to her.

This was a new idea to me. I have a couple of introvert friends who prefer to gather one-on-one, and I'm familiar with that concept. But I'd never really thought of the fact that a small group, like a family, could feel intimidating.

Personally, I prefer those small to medium sized groups, like a family setting or an informal gathering of friends, and it's even better when it's in my own home or backyard. While discussing it with Quester, I suddenly realized why. I was thinking of how I like to incorporate my friends into my family life, or gather with a few of them at once. And it came to me that the way I deal with my introverted self, especially as someone who has partners and kids who I live with, is to group my social interactions together. "Geesh," I told him, "if I had to go see each person individually, that's one day for her, and another for her, and another for him, and on and on, and I'd just never have any time to myself!"

This little epiphany made me laugh. And it was cool to realize that, within the labels of "introvert" or "extrovert," there are many varieties of experience and ways to live a balanced life. We continued our conversation, and went off on a bunch of other fascinating tangents about personal preferences and living in community. Not bad for a day when Mercury is in retrograde, eh?

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

2011-11-22T15:37:00.002-05:00

"I don’t care if you are a hardened cynic, entrepreneur, techie nerd, or froo-froo floaty vegan meditating skateboarder, practicing gratitude is one of the best ways to open up to abundance and prosperity. Gratitude is saying yes. And yes opens us up. It makes us more receptive. We say, 'I already have these gifts.' Then we keep attracting gifts because all of our power is saying yes." - Christine Kane

Let's Talk About the Food

2011-11-21T23:29:00.000-05:00

People like to read about, and talk about, food. At least, that's true if my Facebook status updates are a good indicator. I put up a post about having seen tons of ads and mentions of Nutella lately, so many that I felt like I ought to try it, and got a ton of comments. Forget spiritual techniques or what's happening with the kids, bring on the chow! So, let's talk about the food. What better week for it?

We just made the final (we're pretty sure) batch of salsa using fresh tomatoes from this season. Our local farm store has had salsa tomatoes for far longer than I recall from past years. We have a friend who works there, and she kept letting us know when more tomatoes became available. So this is the third "final batch," and it's really very tasty. We may be getting just a teensy bit sick of Mexican food around here, though.

Not to worry, though, it's just in time for Thanksgiving, with its own particular recipes. Last week we attended the Maine Wholeschoolers' Thanksgiving, and our contributions were wild rice & mushroom-stuffed squash (both butternut and acorn), vegetarian gravy, and a pumpkin pie. The gravy was surprisingly well received by the other families, who all eat meat, but some of whom chose our gravy over the turkey one. And then the pumpkin pie was gobbled up, too, though I don't think anyone knew it was vegan. To the one Mom who asked me about what was in it, I leaned over and whispered "tofu!" She just grinned and kept eating, not letting on to the kids.

For our own feast this Thursday, which we host each year, we'll be making seitan (a vegan meat substitute), the veggie gravy again, and some non-meat-touched stuffing. BlackLion's Mom will contribute the traditional turkey version of all these. Then the rest of the clan (including us) will help provide the mashed potatoes and squash, peas, pearl onions, rolls, homemade cranberry sauce, and my family's traditional "pink salad" (much yummier than it sounds). And of course there will be pies! My vegan (shh!) pumpkin one, Mom's yummy low-sugar apple pie, and Aunt Peg's delicious chocolate cream.

Hungry yet? Don't worry, just three more days to wait. May your celebration be blessed!

Balanced-Rock Equilibrium

2011-11-20T22:24:00.000-05:00

Last night, for some reason, I was feeling sort of down and discouraged. I'm not sure where it came from, but I was feeling disappointed about things in general. I convinced myself that I was going right into a downward spiral, and that this morning I wouldn't even want to get out of bed.

It wasn't true. I woke up to a lovely sunny day, feeling hopeful and pretty much like my usual self. When I did my daily journal writing, I did a bit of exploration of what the feelings were, and what they were about, just in a curious sort of way. Sometimes I find that my emotions can be a mystery. This being human thing is so complex and unfathomable.

I want to share a couple of passages from my journal entry with you: "I am a balanced rock, teetering a bit between discouragement and empowerment. Last night I wondered, 'What if the Universe really doesn't want me to do this?' - this being my calling, our Feline Dreamers stuff, the life of the imagination. And how would I tell?" Followed by, after more exploration, "Now that I've been writing it out I feel better, but in a strange sort of way, like I am in that balanced-rock equilibrium, and it feels somehow right. I like it. It's weird. What an odd creature I am." When I drew my Tarot cards for the day, sure enough, one of them was the Equilibrium card. I wasn't surprised.

I decided to give myself the day off. I've gotten really caught up lately in getting the word out about Feline Dreamers, trying to make it successful, and as they say, when you own your own business you don't (necessarily) have days off. Today has been a day of playing games (Skip-Bo, Set, and a SuDoku board game), having a lovely lunch with BlackLion's Mom, doing cut-out cards, making salsa, and watching a couple episodes of Glee, which I'd never seen before. Quiet family time is a delight. I'm resting my soul, and it's all part of the balancing act.

Life is Creeping In

2011-11-16T15:24:00.001-05:00

I thought November was supposed to be a time for rest, reflection, and renewal. Now I'm feeling busy again, and wondering what on earth happened! I knew we'd have a lot to do for Feline Dreamers this month, as we had our big CBK launch and all. But it seems that lots of other things are clamoring for attention, too.

The challenge is, all of these things are fun and interesting, like drum rehearsals, social gatherings, and soccer banquets (okay, those aren't so interesting, but they're for the kids). This week we're attending a homeschoolers' Thanksgiving feast, and hosting the monthly family potluck at our home. Both things are fun, but require a lot of extra grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning.

I'm still longing for some "me time," and looking for ways to integrate it into my days more often and more smoothly. I want to revitalize my yoga practice, and spend some time on some personal writing projects, and daydream. I want to take walks before the snow pushes its way in for the season. I want to sit by the fire and gaze at the flames. I'm doing well with my daily spiritual practices, and I'm feeling pretty good overall, but at this time of year, I'm drawn to more. More introspection, more relaxation, more unstructured time. And to magick - our Full Moon ritual last week was so restorative for me!

Luckily (knock on wood) my calendar toward the end of the month isn't quite as full as this week's and next week's. Thanksgiving weekend is pretty wide open. I'm going to keep it that way, I hereby resolve. And I'm going to add "my stuff" to the big to-do list in my notebook. So be it!

The Big Day!

2011-11-14T13:17:00.000-05:00

Today I have realized one of my long-held goals: we released the 30-Day Core Belief Kit! And while I slept, we sold our first Kit to a woman in Germany who I know from an e-mail list (thank you R!). So it was fun waking up to such delightful news.

Now we're focused on getting the word out about the Kit, and on moving on with our next set of projects. A lot of my energy has been freed up, just by the powerful act of finishing the Kit and releasing it into the world to share. And I'm inspired to use that energy creatively, focusing on projects like our next e-book and our coaching services. I've already started the e-book, which is about developing and sustaining a daily spiritual practice.

I feel excited and thrilled about where things are and the direction I'm headed. I'm thankful to all the folks who will purchase the Kit, and excited to see where it will take them! I want to work with people for mutual benefit. If you're interested in the Kit, please visit the website and check it out, and share the link with your friends. If you'd like to review the Kit on your website or other media, get in touch with me. And if you're inspired by the notion of personal spirituality coaching, stay tuned! Have a joyful day!

Audio and Video

2011-11-12T13:47:00.000-05:00

BlackLion is putting the finishing touches on the guided meditations for the 30-Day Core Belief Kit. They sound so awesome, especially now that he's added the music! I'm pleased with how professional they sound. Our little home-studio in the basement is working out quite well for us. It's actually Quester's band space, but he's between bands right now, so we're making good use of it for our Feline Dreamers stuff. I wonder if we should put up one of the meditations as a sample...

We're also getting ready to do our second video. Ocean, who studied videography in college and worked in the field for a while, is going to help us with our video projects, on an ongoing basis. A friend of ours gave us a hand-held camcorder, and we just need to find a way to get it to talk to the laptop (we suspect the cord needs to be replaced). We want to be able to do regular videos, as lots of folks enjoy that medium. I don't normally watch videos that much, though there are some exceptions, but lots of folks love YouTube and sharing things they find there.

This afternoon, along with making a fresh batch of salsa, our plans include a final listening session of all the guided meditations. I bet I'll be really relaxed after that! Great for a Saturday afternoon. Purrrrr....

A Bounty of Gratitude

2011-11-11T22:41:00.002-05:00

I thought of several things I wanted to post about this week, but never quite got around to sitting down in front of the keyboard. So I thought, instead, that I'd share them in the form of a gratitude list. These are the things I'm thankful for as this week ends.

I'm thankful for a new skill I've learned recently, which is using html code to format a web page. Mind you, I'm not yet at the level of creating pages or sites. But I'm very thankful to take some web maintenance off BlackLion's list by not only writing the copy, but formatting and posting it as well.
I'm so very grateful that we are releasing the 30-Day Core Belief Kit. This has been a journey of creation over the past four years, and we've poured our hearts and souls into it. I'm really pleased with how it came out, and so excited to share it!
I'm thankful that my kids and their friends like to hang out at our house. We took Dryst and four of his buddies to the midnight release of a video game called Skyrim that they were all so excited about. Three of them came back home with us and played most of the night, and this morning (well, closer to noon) we made them brunch before they headed home. When I posted about this on Facebook, one of my brother's friends asked if it reminded me of how the crowd hung out at my parents' house. I guess I'm carrying on a tradition!
I'm grateful for my feline friends. Merlin is sweet and beautiful and always smells good. Percy is loving and purrful and slept on my lap today. Purr!
I'm so thankful for my wonderful Full Moon circle. We had such a beautiful evening. Every time we celebrate together I learn more about myself and about life. I'm so blessed to have these wonderful folks to do magick with. I feel whole and holy.
I'm thankful for my parents. They have both been sick lately, and I wish them continued healing. They are amazing and awesome! Aunt Peg is, too. Aren't I lucky?!
I give thanks for all the many blessings in my life. Happy 11/11/11!

I'm also thankful for you, my readers. Thanks for being here!

Our First Feline Dreamers Video!

2011-11-07T14:03:00.001-05:00

We made a video this morning to promote our upcoming release of the 30-Day Core Belief Kit (also known as CBK). I'm so excited!

We'll have more details up on the website very soon. The release is next Monday, November 14th.

Last night we watched some Christine Kane videos to get inspired. I dreamed of the CBK all night, and got up this morning and wrote a bunch of copy for the website and other places. When BlackLion suggested making a video, I was ready!

If you want to help us publicize the CBK, let me know. Also, if you'd like to review it on your blog or website, we can probably arrange for that. Did I mention I'm rather excited?! This is our biggest and most powerful project so far!

Family at Rest

2011-11-06T13:17:00.000-05:00

We've been enjoying a quiet weekend at home, and I'm thankful. After our busy October, we've needed to be here and reclaim the house, de-clutter, and do some extra cleaning. We've also made enchiladas, and more sourdough bread, and I'm about to put on some spaghetti sauce for tonight's dinner. There's laundry in process.

We've been listening to music, including this week's wonderful bluegrassy episode of A Prairie Home Companion. We've played Skip-Bo and Rummikub, and Quester has been cleaning up the yard a bit, with help from ElvenTiger. I've gotten some work done for Feline Dreamers, as well as some further food planning for the next family potluck. Dryst and I are planning the next round of academic work he wants to do. There's definitely been some sleeping in, as well, and some reading, and X-Box playing, and watching movies on Netflix.

BlackLion and I have a drum rehearsal this evening with the rest of the Dark Follies Orchestra. Other than that, we're all just taking it easy this weekend, a family at rest.

Diving In

2011-11-03T18:55:00.002-04:00

Wow. I guess I'm diving in deep to the dark of the year. I set my intention to turn inward, and boy did I! I'm not complaining, but things that are part of my normal routine have been seeming very intense this week.

I hung out with my friends at homeschool group last night, and while I did have fun, I came away feeling sort of psychically bruised, just from all the different energies and opinions and views. Today our homeschool co-op, which I also love, was particularly overwhelming. 65 families with over 150 kids can do that to anyone, but I guess usually I'm better prepared. Simple errands and household tasks seem a bit over the top, too.

I think I dropped the filters I'd been using during my Freaking Busy time. Or maybe it's that it's day three of my giving up sugar. I haven't been craving it at all (which is different), but it might still be affecting my emotions somehow.

The really good thing is that I've been able to easily re-center myself when I notice I'm frazzled or stressed. A few deep breaths, a bit of time writing in my journal, and just a reminder of inner relaxation ("let go of the clenching" "all is well") have done the trick. And these feelings of being overwhelmed aren't the whole story, either. I've also felt more inspired to be creative, and have been having a blast focusing on various projects. It must be almost time to start the cutout cards!

Something Cool I Found Today

2011-11-01T19:58:00.001-04:00

A few years ago I went to the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, and since then (well, before then, too, I guess) I've been on their mailing list. Today in my e-mail inbox was their November e-newsletter. I don't always read it, but the title caught my attention: "Beginning Your Not So Big Life." It refers to the title of a book by author Sarah Susanka, who also wrote the newsletter article. I'm not sure why it was so intriguing, but I read the related article, which led me to visit the author's website. The article had said to click on the Chapter 11 tab when I got there.

The first thing I saw when I got to that sub-page was a poem by Rumi. I recognized it immediately as the poem that had been made into a chant by the teacher of the Iron Pentacle workshop I took last November. With the music playing in my head ("don't go back to sleep, don't go back to sleep") and a buoyant feeling in my heart, I downloaded the .pdf file, figuring if there was ever a positive sign from the Universe, this was it! I mean, Iron Pentacle was such an amazing experience, as was my trip to Kripalu. They both contributed greatly to my spiritual growth, and brought me a lot of joy in the process.

I love these chains of synchronicity that lead to cool new tools! I haven't tried this one yet, but it sounds like it'll be right up my alley. And it's just the kind of thing I was looking for, to use for this quieter, more reflective time of year. Thanks, Universe! I love you!

NaBloPoMo Success!

2011-10-31T11:09:00.001-04:00

Huzzah! I did it! Even through a very busy and active month, I posted here every day! It wasn't really a burden. I had fun. I needed to be very conscious about remembering to post, but perhaps now, 31 days later, it's become a habit. We'll see how that goes. I hope you've enjoyed reading about my life and my thoughts.

The NaBloPoMo theme was "between," and that's where I am right now. It is Samhain, and thus begins the darkest time of the year. The space between Samhain and Yule is time that I set aside for renewal and a particularly strong focus on my inner life. Over the course of the next couple days I'll refine what that will look like, this time around. I know I'm going to do my usual sugar fast, starting tomorrow. But there will no doubt be other intentions to focus on during this between time.

For tonight, we've figured out our Halloween plan. Dryst is going to the zombie walk and movie viewing with his friends. ElvenTiger is going to become Wednesday Addams once again, and do some trick-or-treating. Then we'll head over to Mom's for some soup, treats, and our Monday night viewing of Dancing with the Stars. It'll be fun and mellow and suits me just fine. Happy Halloween and Blessed Samhain!

Start Turning Inward

2011-10-30T16:57:00.000-04:00

The final Dark Follies show last night went very well, and we ended our run with a group photo session and then going out for a drink together, as a troupe. I'm thankful to be working and playing with such wonderful folks! After that, even though we were having a big snowstorm, we went to the annual Halloween party of some friends. I had a fabulous time! When the electricity went out, the hosts lit candles and we all stayed a while longer before venturing home. The roads were messy, but we just drove slowly and our trusty Subaru got us home safe. Our electricity was down too, but we were headed to bed anyway.

We got up around mid-morning when the lights (and heat) came back on. I took a delicious hot shower, and Quester made us all a big brunch around noontime.

The plan for today was to head to some friends' place this evening for a beautiful and intense (and I know this because I was in on the planning) Samhain ritual. Mother Nature had different ideas. The ritual was planned for outdoor space, and with six inches of wet mushy snow, plus the re-freezing of everything tonight, it was decided to cancel the event. I think it was a wise choice.

And thus my day has been one of doing some house-tidying, making a big batch of salsa, playing Set and Skip-Bo, and getting some quiet relaxation time. I think after I finish this entry, I'm going to take a nap (or at least lie down and read) while the guys are watching football.

My Freaking Busy month is waning, as is the year. The moon is waxing, and the energy it brings me is the impetus to turn inward once again, to enrich my connection with the heart of things. Over the next three nights, I'll take time to honor my ancestors, release what I no longer need, and divine my new course, all things we had planned to focus on in our group ritual. We can try again next year to share the Work with others, and in the meantime I'm happy here at home, nestling down into Samhain-tide. Many blessings to you and yours!

Eye of the Storm

2011-10-29T17:36:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here at the laptop with my cup of decaf chai tea (with soymilk and honey, mmmm) and taking a few moments to write today's blog. I'm really psyched that I've almost made it to the end of the month, and have posted every day! Especially given the fact that I've been so very busy. It's been fun, though! And at least one person has said that she hopes I'll continue to post every day (or at least close to that). We'll see what happens.

After this we're off to the final Dark Follies show. It's been so much fun! We have some friends coming tonight to see it, plus a cast party afterwards. Apparently we might get some (more) snow tonight. That's OK, the show must go on! I'm tired, but not exhausted. I think I've been pacing myself pretty well. I'm not one of those people with vast amounts of energy (activity-wise), but I have very good endurance and stamina.

Our vending at the Gorham Art Fair (for the Maine Wholeschoolers) went well today. Tomorrow morning I can sleep in (oh joy!!!) and then have time to prepare for the lovely ritual I'm helping lead. And next week will be a lot more reasonable as far as commitments and running around goes. I'm pretty pleased, overall, and hope you all have a lovely evening.

Baking Day

2011-10-28T13:28:00.000-04:00

Well, it's baking day today around the homestead. We got snow last night and now it's sunny, but chilly, so it'll be nice to have the oven going. I did a big kitchen cleanup this morning. I may have been letting things go just a bit, having been Freaking Busy (a friend gave me this official term) for the past, well, let's just say many days. We also went to the grocery store to stock up on baking supplies.

BlackLion is now working on his latest round of sourdough bread. He's very pleased with the starter that our chef friend gave him, and has been feeding it assiduously. He even gave some to another friend, so the yumminess is spreading! Anyway, he's making four loaves today, two for the household and two to sell at the bake sale.

What bake sale, you may ask? Well, the Maine Wholeschoolers will be offering all kinds of baked goodies tomorrow at the Gorham Art Fair. We'll also be providing sandwiches for lunch. This is our biggest fundraiser of the year. This afternoon, ElvenTiger will be making her prize-winning Oatmeal Chocolate- and Butterscotch-Chip cookies. They are literally prizewinners, at last year's Cumberland County Fair. Plus they're delicious.

I'm going to make some other kind of baked good as well. I haven't decided yet - I stocked up on a bunch of baking supplies, so I could leave my options open until the last minute. I'm thinking either no-bake cookies or something that combines peanut butter and chocolate.

Oh, and we're also going to make some neo-American chop suey for dinner, before we head off to the Dark Follies show. It's basically the vegetarian version of that dish, with veggie burger crumble in place of the hamburger. The rest of the ingredients are standard, but yummy: macaroni, sweet peppers, onions, tomatoes, some spices. It's BlackLion's recipe, and we like it, especially when we're on the go and can make it a bit ahead of time and let folks munch when they're ready.

I think I'd better pick a recipe. It's almost my turn for the kitchen!

Recovering Perfectionist

2011-10-27T16:56:00.001-04:00

Last night, after a fun and successful dress rehearsal for the show I'm in, I dreamed I could fly. It was the most vivid and exhilarating flying dream I can ever remember (and I don't have a lot of them). It felt great, like I was soaring above it all, having a fantastic time, trusting myself to the air currents and my amazing flying powers.

The kids both stayed overnight at our friend's house (the awesome one who hosts the homeschool group week after week after week) last night after the Halloween party. So I was a bit relaxed about getting to the homeschool co-op today, especially since it was the end-of-term review and party.

BlackLion and I got on the road by 10am, which is when the event starts. I said to him, knowing that we still needed to stop and get gas, "it's okay if we're late, right?" His reply was, "well, you're usually the one who's worried about that kind of stuff." "Oh. Well, I'm okay with it. Right?"

My phone rings. It's ElvenTiger, calling on her friend's cell phone from the co-op, and she wants to know where I am, and if I have her baskets (which she made during basket-weaving class). I do have them, but I'm still just leaving. She says they're about to show them off, and I realize I won't get there in time. Cringe.

We stop at the store, and while BlackLion pumps the gas, I pull out my planner and take a look, just to make sure I'm on track. Most of my stuff is on our online Google calendar, but I also have a paper planner that I can take along (my ancient cell phone won't do that stuff. It's from, like, 2006. Yes, really). I realize that Tuesday was my parents' wedding anniversary, and I forgot to send them a card, or even wish them a happy day. Even though I did talk with my Mom that day. Cringe again.

"Wow," I quip, "I'm in trouble with both generations! What a rebel!" Of course, there's no trouble. I call my Mom, and she's fine with it. She tells me my brother didn't call that day, either. "Well," I tell her, "but he's the prodigal son, and I'm supposed to be the good one." Laughing at myself and all the pressure I put on myself to be perfect. And aside from an eye roll, ElvenTiger doesn't seem to mind that her baskets arrive late, and as they sit on the table all day, they do get lots of admiring comments from other Moms.

As I tell a group of the co-op Moms at lunchtime, when we sit chatting about all sorts of interesting things, I'm a recovering perfectionist. We all commiserate on feeling that way. Many women do. We can get 25 compliments and one mean-sounding comment, and we'll remember the negative one. Why? We want to fix it all, have our lives be perfect...or at least appear that way to all our acquaintances and colleagues. But that's what keeps us distant from each other, at times. It's when we get real, admit our fears and flaws and failures, that we can empathize and really feel for each other. That's when friendships are made or cemented.

And trying to be perfect is often just a recipe for stress. Face it, no one can be all things to all people, not even (or perhaps especially not) our kids and our parents. That's why I've given up perfectionism. It's when we let go that we can really soar. I'm now a recovering perfectionist. How about you?

Cake of the Month: October

2011-10-26T15:00:00.000-04:00

This month, ElvenTiger, BlackLion, and I collaborated on the cake. This morning BlackLion and I baked a chocolate layer cake and a batch of pumpkin chocolate-chip cupcakes. Then I made some frosting, and ElvenTiger and I did the decorating for the Graveyard Cake. This creepy cake is for tonight's Maine Wholeschoolers' Halloween party. Here it is!

I also frosted the cupcakes, which are for tomorrow's homeschool co-op Autumn Party. I didn't color or decorate these because, with so many families in the co-op, there are lots of different food allergies and sensitivities. But I must say, they taste delicious. The frosting is a simple vanilla frosting. These are also dairy-free, although they do have eggs in them.

Happy Halloween!

The Evolution of Halloween

2011-10-25T16:35:00.002-04:00

It's nearly Halloween, also known as Samhain, and today we've been finishing up some of our preparations. We're a Pagan family, and we've always celebrated the secular Halloween as well as our spiritual observance of Samhain. Both of these have been shifting and changing a bit over the past couple of years, although with some of our old traditions still intact.

For Halloween, since the kids were small we've taken them trick-or-treating, usually with friends. Now they're getting older, and are on the border of perhaps growing out of it. Last year we drove them to a nearby town with a suburban area where they and their friends could all walk around together, without parents. Four of us Moms hung out together in a local restaurant and chatted about how strange it was not to be walking around with them anymore. This coming Monday's plans are still ambiguous, and I'm just waiting to see what, if anything, they'll want to do.

The focus now is the annual Halloween party that our homeschool group puts on. There are costumes, yes, and prizes, and lots of yummy food, and sometimes even a dance party. Our friends who host it are great about decorating their house elaborately. Kids and adults both dress up and enjoy hanging out together. Today we went out to get a few last-minute items we needed for our costumes. ElvenTiger is going as Wednesday Addams from the Addams Family, from the movies (she loves the original show, but Wednesday is closer to ElvenTiger's own age in the second movie). Dryst is going to be Charlie Sheen. Yup, really. Teenagers...

For Samhain, we either host or attend a ritual, often focused on honoring our ancestors. This year BlackLion and I are helping co-lead a ritual at the home of some dear friends. Quester, Ocean Mouse, and ElvenTiger will all be attending, as will some other friends who we've done magickal work with in the past. Dryst isn't sure if he wants to go. There won't be many (or perhaps any) people his own age there, and recently that's who he wants to hang out with. I don't think he's focused on his spirituality right now, and that's fine. He's going through a lot hormonal changes, and figuring out who he is, especially with his peers.

It's interesting and fun to see the evolution of the holidays in our family as the kids grow up. I was just saying to my Mom last night how fun it was to buy toys for the kids for Yule and Christmas when they were younger, and that we don't really get to do that anymore. But there are new traditions to explore, and some old ones that we all still enjoy. Happy Halloween and Blessed Samhain to you!

The Spirits of Vaudeville

2011-10-24T23:06:00.000-04:00

BlackLion and I are performing this week with the Dark Follies. We'll be part of a Halloween-themed show called "The Spirits of Vaudeville," at Lucid Stage in Portland this Thursday through Saturday evenings (we have to miss the Saturday matinee due to a previous commitment).

We'll be drumming with them as usual, but we'll also be appearing in our...ahem...feline forms. Oh yes, we're cats!

If you're local to the southern Maine area, click here to find out about ticket information. It's a very reasonable price and promises to be a really fun show! Come check it out!

Calm in the Chaos

2011-10-23T11:43:00.000-04:00

As you may be able to tell from yesterday's post, we're having a very busy October! Sometimes when I get into the midst of a busy time, I get stressed out about making sure to get everything done, and I don't feel grounded. This time, though, at least so far, I'm feeling really great and enjoying just being part of the flow of events.

I think part of it is because I knew ahead of time that this was going to be a crazy time period, and prepared myself. We keep a Google calendar for our family, to keep track of all our events and appointments and plans. I look at October, packed full of stuff, and then flip to the November page and give a sigh of relief. Not that we won't have things to do next month, but it's certainly a bit calmer than this one, with more room to breathe. Another part of my calm is my recent transformation, the lessons I've been learning about how much better my life is when I go with the flow. Rather than worrying about the next moment, or hour, or day, I enjoy the present moment and let things unfold.

Perhaps because I'm not worried or anxious, things seem to be running smoothly, too. Yesterday morning I was supposed to go to a cake decorating class, but on Friday they called to say it was going to be postponed. So that gave me a chance to have a more relaxed morning, and center myself before jumping into the day. I'm feeling calm in the sometimes chaotic waters of daily life, and most importantly, I'm having fun.

ElvenTiger's Week

2011-10-22T14:17:00.001-04:00

I've mentioned before how my daughter ElvenTiger, who is 12, isn't really academically inclined. By this I mean that she's not the type to learn by sitting and doing worksheets or writing reports, although she has done those things. However, she does love to learn, and she's always learning new things. Her preferred style of learning is hands-on, active, and relevant to her life.

So I thought I'd give a glimpse of the types of things she does by talking about what she's been up to this week. Monday we had a birthday party for her Dad and Grampa. ElvenTiger helped me make the veggie pot pie, including the crust. We ran some errands while her brother was at soccer practice, and she chose and purchased a gift for her Dad from money she had earned doing some yard work for her Grammy. We went to the party and spent time with family. We also did our usual Monday ritual of watching "Dancing With the Stars" and critiquing the dances.

Tuesday was a quieter day. On her own time, ElvenTiger has been knitting, watching "The Addams Family" on Netflix, getting her Halloween costume ready, reading to me, and playing outdoors.

Wednesday was our weekly homeschool group. ElvenTiger not only hung out with her friends, but also went to an improv theater class with some of them. She got to participate in the class, and had a fun time. When they all came back, we played some dominoes and chatted. She also did artwork, making bookmarks with a friend. She stayed overnight with her friend and they did some more work on their costumes.

Thursday is the day for the new homeschool co-op gathering. ElvenTiger made a beautiful small basket in her basket-weaving class. She hung out with friends at lunch, and then in cooking class she learned to make four different kinds of cheese. She usually brings her knitting, and has helped a new friend with her knitting projects as well.

On Friday ElvenTiger and BlackLion went on a mushroom foraging expedition with a bunch of other homeschool families. A mycologist came and taught them about the different types of fungus they had gathered. ElvenTiger found a type of mushroom that glows in the dark! After that she had soccer practice. In the evening we had a fire, which she enjoyed with her Dad, and later we listened to jazz and played some Skip-Bo.

Today we went to a cemetery tour that my Mom was hosting. While Mom made a speech about the family who was buried there and their history (it was a small cemetery on a local farm), ElvenTiger, BlackLion and I provided the atmosphere. We dressed up in costume and walked around in the background, as if we were the ghosts of the family. We put our improv skills to use, and also provided some music, with drum, flute, and voice. It was fun, and we learned local history while helping out the local historical society.

Now we're off to ElvenTiger's soccer playoff game. Of course, woven in and around all this activity is a bunch of other stuff, including lots of conversations about a wide variety of topics. ElvenTiger plans to make some applesauce this weekend, from some local apples we were given. We have a family potluck tomorrow, as well as more soccer. Life is full and rich and educational...and fun! I hope you've enjoyed this glimpse into the life of an unschooled 12-year-old. Now I'm off to chauffeur her to the game!

Inanna, Sisters in Rhythm

2011-10-21T23:42:00.001-04:00

My Mom and I went to a wonderful concert tonight. The performers were Inanna - definitely check out their website if you've never heard of (or heard) them. We've seen them before, most notably in 2004 just after my Mom got out of rehab after her major car accident. I remember that show particularly because Mom was still in a wheelchair then, and the concert was outdoors at an orchard, so I had to wheel her up the hill and through the grass. The drumming they do is so healing, though, it was definitely worth it.

Tonight's show was superb, as always. They are so inspiring! I love that they focus on encouraging women to play drums. And their new compositions are lovely - a bit more meditative and spiritual. Though they also played some of their upbeat get-you-dancing tunes, of course.

They are finishing up a new CD and are doing a Kickstarter campaign (the details are on their website) to help them raise money to finish it. If you haven't heard of Kickstarter (aren't I just a font of information tonight?), it's a very cool way for groups to raise funds (though, fair warning, there is apparently some controversy about how they choose their projects). That was how Starhawk raised the initial funds to get started with making her wonderful novel The Fifth Sacred Thing into a movie. But I digress. Check out Inanna, and support them. You can get a CD, be blessed in their prayers, wear some of their beautiful clothing that one of the members creates, or any number of other cool things, just for helping out. Drum on!

Hardy Girls, Healthy Women

2011-10-20T09:51:00.001-04:00

Last night I attended a gathering of about a dozen homeschooling Moms who are interested in learning more about empowering their pre-teen and teen daughters. It was held at the lovely home of a woman I'd "met" online. She runs an e-mail list for homeschoolers in my area (a great resource), and she's also a devoted reader and fan of this blog (which, dear readers, is very flattering indeed!). And, in one of those "Maine really is a small state" moments, it turns out that I worked with her brother for years! They're both smart, witty, kind, and really fun folks.

Anyway, she hosted a talk by a young woman named Megan from Hardy Girls, Healthy Women (HGHW), a group founded by author and activist Dr. Lyn Mikel Brown. It's based in Waterville, Maine. HGHW has been around for 11 years now, and their mission is to empower girls to be strong and confident in the face of a mainstream culture that urges them to focus primarily on their looks and the latest fashions.

The first part of the talk was sobering and disturbing. Despite the feminist activism of the past 40 years, some things are getting worse for girls and women. Recent research by the American Psychological Association shows in detail how the sexualization of girls in the media is increasing, and the damaging effects it has on their still-forming world view and self-esteem.

The empowering part was that research also demonstrates how these negative effects can be dissipated when girls learn to think critically about media images and gender stereotypes. This is particularly so when they work together with peers and with mentors close to their own age. HGHW has a whole list of programs that put girls together in groups (run by these same girls, and young women a bit older), not only to help them understand and deal with these cultural biases, but also to empower them to become activists themselves and work to make changes in their communities. They also have a whole lot of fun in the process.

It looks like the hostess of last night's gathering, who is very involved with HGHW, will be starting a group for girls ages 11-14 (or so), and I'm going to see if it's something that ElvenTiger and her friends would enjoy. She's adapting it a bit from the usual school-based programs, so it will be more useful to homeschoolers. The program will most likely be art-based, which is right up the girls' alley.

I'm so thankful I went to this event, not only because this is valuable and fascinating work, but also to finally meet the hostess in "real life." There were four or five of us Moms in attendance who are part of the new Thursday homeschool co-op, too, including the Mom of one of ElvenTiger's new friends, so that was cool. I'm also grateful for the work that Megan and the others at HGHW are doing. I've included some links in this post, in case you want to check it out for yourself and the young women in your life.

October Soup

2011-10-19T23:23:00.000-04:00

Did you ever have one of those days when you have to make some food to take to an event, and you're having a busy day, and you haven't been to the grocery store? Yep, that was me, today. And yet the soup BlackLion and I made, which I'm going to call October Soup (because Leftover Soup just sounds icky), came out fabulous! It's really yummy! Here's a sort of recipe, though I don't know if it can really be duplicated.

October Soup
by Starcat and BlackLion

We started by putting a big pot on the stove and setting some water to boil, perhaps 10 or 12 cups. To the water, we added 1/4 cup of Braggs' amino acids (you could use soy sauce or tamari) and 1/4 cup of the red miso I just got from the new food co-op, and stirred them in.

Once it was boiling, we added our leftovers: 3 cups of cooked basmati rice, 1 cup of corn, 1/2 a cup of peas, and some tomato paste (probably equivalent to a 12-ounce can's worth).

In the meantime, we baked two squash that a friend gave us. We split them in half and put them face down in a baking dish with a 1/4 inch or so of water, baking them for about 30 minutes at 350 degrees. They were an acorn squash and a small spaghetti squash. When they were done and had cooled, we added them to the soup.

We also added the spicing (amounts are approximate): 2 cloves garlic (crushed), 2 Tbsp. chives (chopped), 1 tsp. chipoltle hot sauce, 1 tsp. cumin, 1/2 tsp. coriander, and 1 Tbsp. onion powder. We let the soup simmer for about half an hour, and then it was done. ElvenTiger had some for lunch, and proclaimed it delicious!

We brought the October Soup to homeschool group to share. I had to leave during dinner time for another event, but I'm told that it went over well, and that our chef friend even had two bowls! Huzzah for leftovers, and for necessity being the mother of invention!

End of Soccer Season

2011-10-18T12:56:00.000-04:00

Today Dryst has his final soccer game of the season. He's been playing on the junior varsity team for the local high school. Dryst has been playing soccer since he was six. He loves it with a fierce passion, though he's getting tired of playing in this school district, because his team rarely wins. I think it's a combination of being a rural area with less population than some of the surrounding teams, and being in an area that focuses heavily on the other kind of football. He's making the best of it, though, and wants all the playing time he can get. He'll be starting indoor soccer in a few weeks, which will take him through the winter. Then there's lacrosse in the spring, and perhaps spring soccer if we can find a team.

ElvenTiger had her last scheduled game this past weekend, though she may still have a playoff game or two (not many, as she too is in the aforementioned district, though on a travel team, not a school team). She's played since she was five, following in her brother's footsteps, and her interest in soccer is winding down. I think this may be her last season. She said she isn't interested in indoor soccer over the winter, and declined to play for the school team this fall because soccer every day was too much. ElvenTiger likes playing, but it's never been her passion, just something fun to add to her other activities. This winter she's going to be taking swim lessons - she's a great self-taught swimmer, but wants to learn the various strokes. She wants to become a lifeguard when she's old enough, too.

I've never been a sports person, and when the kids first started getting interested in team sports I was dreading having to watch all those games. Surprisingly, though, it's been fun (for the most part) going to the games and cheering them on. And since I'm only there for the kids and supporting their enjoyment, it's mystifying why some of the parents get so wound up about the games and scores! Amusing, though, most of the time. But I guess I'm a soccer Mom - the supportive kind, that is. At the end of each season I get a little sick of it, particularly all the driving we have to do for practices and games. So I'm glad to see this soccer season end, and perhaps just a wee bit sad that ElvenTiger is probably finished with it for good. On the other hand, it'll be exciting seeing what cool things she does next, and I always enjoy watching Dryst play his various sports, pouring his heart and soul into it every time he's on the field. Go team!

Blogging for the Ballroom

2011-10-17T23:31:00.002-04:00

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you may know that this radical chick has a few kinda mainstream pleasures. One of them is watching Dancing With the Stars with my Mom. Yep, it's a Monday night family tradition for us. Since we don't have TV at our house, we go and watch with her, and we usually have dinner together first.

A lot of the celebrities aren't that familiar to us since we don't really keep up with all the pop culture stuff, but perhaps that means we're better able to judge them for their dancing and for the way they act on the show itself. Also, Mom calls us each Tuesday night with the scoop, after she checks out the results show. I'm actually glad to miss the part where they make a big drama over who's getting eliminated next. I think it would stress me out. Heh heh.

So, I thought I'd share my thoughts on the current dancers and their chances to win. Here goes:

David Arquette - He kind of creeped me out at first; I'm not sure why. But he's got style and can perform the character of the dance quite well. He's also gotten more confident with his dancing. I think he's got good potential, if he keeps up the hard work. He actually was kind of handsome in his last couple of dances.

Chaz Bono - I'm glad the fans have kept him coming back thus far. As my Mom said, it's good to see him stick around, to show the people who protest his presence on the show as a trans-gendered person that not everyone is a bigot. On the other hand, he can't really dance very well, and the show is about dancing. He has shown some improvement, and I admire his courage and tenacity.

Nancy Grace - So far she's shown herself to be an adequate dancer. She's okay, but not great. Also, her aggressive attitude seems kind of negative - I guess that's what she's known for on her own show, but I've never seen it. It's kind of off-putting to me.

Rob Kardashian - It's been fun watching him learn to dance and gain self-confidence. I know really nothing about him, but I've watched him go from looking like an awkward kid to tonight's dance, where he was sexy and powerful. He has great potential if he can keep up the good work.

Carson Kressley - He's another dancer whose fans have kept him in the competition so far. He's tremendous fun to watch, and is a natural entertainer. I don't want him to go, but again, it's really about the dancing, and he's still rather awkward and missing a lot of steps, at a time when the competition is heating up. We'll see.

Ricki Lake - She's doing a wonderful job. I love the way she portrays the stories of the dance, and her technique is also high quality. I think she can make it to the top. She has, besides her own good qualities, two great things going for her: her partner is Derek, who I think is hands-down the best teacher and choreographer on the show, and she's in love (she mentioned it in one of the episodes), which helps her shine even more than she might otherwise.

J.R. Martinez - He is an excellent dancer - tonight his dance was just top-notch. His story is really amazing, and I think since he found the will to overcome adversity (he was burned and injured severely in a war), he can do anything he puts his mind to. He'll most likely be at least one of the top three, if not the winner of the competition.

Hope Solo - Athletes do really well on the show, and that's because they make a living working with their bodies, like dancers. I think Hope's doing a great job! She definitely has the potential to win. Her partner, Max, can be a sort of grouchy teacher, and tends to have some drama with his students (he's the sexiest pro, in my opinion, but not the best teacher). But if they can overcome that, she can do very well.

There you have it, a very non-expert view of the ballroom from my parents' living room!

Aha! We've Figured You Out, Percy.

2011-10-16T21:39:00.000-04:00

Several times each evening, Percy comes in, gets petted or perhaps has a few bites of food, and goes back out. We call him the "in and out cat." Eventually he'll (usually) come in for the night, and find a place to sleep on someone's bed or in various other warm and cozy places.

This evening I had a headache. I've had a weird persistent cough, and today it seemed to be associated with an achy head and neck. I made some honey-mustard dipping sauce, got the sweet potato "fries" in the oven, and then asked Quester to take over the rest of the dinner preparations. I just had to lie down for a little while. He kindly agreed, and I went up to my room, snuggled up in my bed, and crashed for a while.

Part of the way through my little nap, Percy showed up. He purred and cuddled up close in one of those lovely cat circles. He and I slept a bit more. When ElvenTiger came to wake me up for dinner, she said that she and Quester had come up with a theory. Perhaps the reason Percy comes in and out so much is that he's checking out what everyone is up to, and hoping he can get a good snuggle. So imagine his surprise and pleasure when he showed up at 6:30pm and his Mom-cat was already in bed. Come to think of it, he did seem a bit disappointed when I went down to eat. And he has since been out, and just came back in. Maybe I'll go to bed early. You just don't want to disappoint a stripey purring cat!

Saturday at the Homestead

2011-10-15T18:13:00.000-04:00

After a whole lot of rain in a fairly short amount of time, the moon came out last night. I saw its pretty light from my bed, and then woke this morning to a sunny and windy October day. Got some sheets out on the line to dry; that is, if they don't blow away!

Dryst's soccer game was canceled, so Quester took him to run a few errands. Dryst got a nice haircut, and reserved his Skyrim X-Box game. I'm taking he and some friends to the midnight game release in just a few weeks. He also set up some time tomorrow for some friends to come and visit. We haven't seen them at homeschool group for a while, as their Mom is away visiting family and their Dad works full-time.

ElvenTiger had a soccer game today. She rested up for that, had chili for lunch, and watched some old episodes of The Addams Family on Netflix. She's gearing up for Halloween, as she wants to be either Wednesday (the older version, from the movies) or Morticia.

With some input from both Quester and BlackLion, I finished the next round of editing for a magazine article and sent it off to my editor. BlackLion and I also created a "punch list" for what we need to finish for the Core Belief Kit. I'm so excited that we're almost done, at long last! We had the idea several years ago, but for various reasons (including some inner blockages that we've both had to work through), it got delayed. But now we're ready and very psyched to be able to put it out into the world! And at the same time we'll be launching our new personal spirituality coaching service. So it's a very creative, busy, and fulfilling time for Feline Dreamers. Yay!

Right now it's time for A Prairie Home Companion, with awesome bluegrassy duo Gillian Welch and David Rawlings as the special guests. Spaghetti sauce is simmering merrily on the stove. We're ready to relax, and perhaps play some games. Tomorrow, there's more soccer in store for us, and some extra teen boys hanging around. Should be fun!

Cuddly Cats for a Rainy Friday Evening...

2011-10-14T21:29:00.000-04:00

What do I do when I can't think of anything I want to write about? I post some cat pictures! That will keep everyone occupied for a few minutes, going "aww!" Then no one will recall that this post didn't contain much actual written content. That's my nefarious plan...mwahahahaha! Enjoy these beauteous felines!

Sir Percival Lovecat, aka Percy

The brothers enjoying a post-picnic nap

Cuddy brother cats!

"Dude, you make an excellent pillow!"

Merlin Lovecat, aka Merles, decked out with a mohawk

Our kitten cousin, Cali

Our dear beloved friend Huzzah, enjoying the sunshine (he passed away as an old man of 18-and-a-half in late 2008)

My Mystick - I still miss him (he died suddenly at the young age of 3, in 2009)

What? She's a cat!

OK, Star's not really a cat. But she's adorable!

It Sounds So Simple

2011-10-13T20:46:00.001-04:00

Okay, I'm going to share a profound bit of wisdom that I've discovered this fall. Are you ready? Here we go: when you stop trying so hard, release a bit of control and clinging, and let go, then things flow more smoothly your way. Sounds so simple, huh? And yet I don't think I'm alone in having to learn this particular bit of wisdom, by experience, again and again...and again.

I wanted to make some new friends this fall, ones who share my interests, laugh with me, and enjoy being with me. I also wanted the same for ElvenTiger, who had been growing apart from a couple of her friends, as they become teens and the one- or two-year age difference seems bigger. Guess what? The new homeschool co-op we joined has brought us both delightful, budding new friendships. I relaxed about my intention, and the universe offered us this vibrant new community.

I've been working to unite my career, my creative callings, and my prosperity, as longtime readers will know. I did a fabulous program of affirmations this fall (more about that soon, as I'm going to be writing a testimonial for the amazing woman I've been working with). Much of it was focused on letting go of old programming on money and allowing things to flow. And guess what? Some old blockages have melted away, my business is in an exciting stage of releasing new products and services, and while I can't (yet) say that my bank account is overflowing, new energies are stirring.

BlackLion and I had been talking about adding personal spirituality coaching to our services, without yet mentioning it to anyone outside the immediate family. A day or two later, a friend contacted us to ask if we did coaching. Why yes, yes we do! Now she's helping us to refine our process of coaching, while she (hopefully) gets the boost she's looking for.

For me, it's true that if you ask, you will receive. It's the part about allowing the answer to manifest that many of us seem to get hung up on. Why do we make it so complex? It's really very simple. I'm hoping I can remember that, but if I don't, I'm sure the lesson will come around again.

Must-Have Music

2011-10-12T23:59:00.000-04:00

Today is (was) Quester's birthday. When I'd asked him for suggestions for what he wanted for gifts, he gave me a list of CDs, being quite the music aficionado. The one I grabbed turned out to be the most excellent new music I've heard for a long time. The band (as well as the album) is called Superheavy. The all-star performers? Mick Jagger, Dave Stewart (of the Euryhthmics), Joss Stone, Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley (yes, of THE Marleys), and A.R. Rahman. I most highly recommend it. I mean it. Buy this record!

And thus ends this rather short post, because I had one of those "oh crap, it's almost midnight and I haven't posted yet for today!" moments. Happy Birthday my dear Quester!

Brown Thumb Guilt

2011-10-11T18:22:00.000-04:00

Confession time: I don't really like gardening. I love the idea of gardening. I enjoy being outside. I don't mind bugs and worms that much. I compost. I love how the plants look and smell. I adore vegetables - I'm very happy being a vegetarian, and I love trying new veggies. I love to cook them. But growing them...not so much.

I thought I'd like it. Well, though, there is my theory about being either an animal person or a plant person. And I've always been an animal lover, so... I do feel bad about my gardening lack of joy. And I'm not even sure what I don't like about it. Perhaps it's mostly just not knowing what I should be doing, or how to listen to the plants, or whatever. Maybe if I take a class, or learn from a friend, or just keep trying... And I will.

In the meantime, I do what I can to support those who love gardening. Such as: shop at local farm stands, ooh and ahh over beautiful gardens, offer space here on the land for them to use. Perhaps some of those among my family and friends who enjoy gardening will just grow my fruits and veggies for me. I promise to cook you many lovely and delicious meals!

Yes, I'm Still an Introvert

2011-10-10T21:30:00.000-04:00

I started off life as a very shy introvert. Over the years, I've overcome much of my shyness. I love parties and events with lots of people, I speak comfortably in front of a group, and I enjoy performing. But I'm definitely still an introvert.

No, shyness and introversion are not one and the same. As I understand it, introverts recharge their mental, emotional, and spiritual energies by having time alone to be quiet and reflective. Extroverts are revitalized by spending time with others in conversation and collaboration. Conversely, introverts can be drained by too much time in social settings, while too much time by themselves can deplete an extrovert. There is, of course, a lot of variety along the spectrum of personalities.

After a very full and busy three days of social gatherings and outings, I'm feeling drained, for certain. I need time to be at home, quietly enjoying my down time. I will recharge by taking time for some writing, reading, and reflection. I enjoyed all of the activities I did this weekend, and wouldn't go back and undo any of them. Yet I can tell by my mental tension, a slight touch of emotional irritability, and some physical droopiness, that it's time to regroup. And I'm starting right now. A cup of tea and a book of sci-fi short stories await me. Enjoy your evening!

Sunny Autumn Sunday

2011-10-09T17:59:00.000-04:00

I spent most of the day sitting at a soccer tournament, watching ElvenTiger's team play (or waiting for them to start playing). Unlike the usual things we find ourselves doing during the October tournament, like snuggling in sweatshirts and blankets, and consuming large quantities of hot chocolate, today we were all in shorts and t-shirts. It's been a wonderfully warm and sunny weekend. A great weekend to spend time outdoors, and I'm glad.

Even so, though, I can feel the seasons shifting. The days are much shorter, and the breezes cooler. Before this mini-heat wave, the nights were getting downright cold, and we experienced our first frost. We also turned the heat on last week for the first time. The waxing moon was brilliant last night, and gave an air of mystery to the October skies.

Even though winter isn't my favorite thing ever (I don't like the cold), I really enjoy this time of year. I like seeing the Earth getting ready to go to bed, and the trees dropping their leaves as they ready to dream the winter months away. I like the foods of autumn: harvest veggie soup, hearty chili, homemade breads, and cider. I love apples and pumpkins and seeing the wild turkeys in the field. I notice the turn of the Wheel of the Year, and I'm thankful. Blessed Be!

Even Though It Makes Me Squirm

2011-10-08T22:40:00.002-04:00

I tend to be rather self-critical. I also often focus on what I *don't* yet know, because I always want to learn new things, progress, move forward, and all that. Focusing on my personal growth is my idea of fun.

So today was interesting because I got to observe myself the way others might see me, and was open in a new way to my positive qualities, the things that I am accomplished at and can shine while I'm doing. So I'm going to post about my observations here, even though I feel a bit uncomfortable tooting my own horn. Even though it makes me squirm.

I went to Eastern Maine Pagan Pride Day, which is about three hours away from where I live. This is the second year, and I go to volunteer, and because the people who run it are just so darn cool! I had planned to help staff an information table for two organizations I'm involved with, EarthTides Pagan Network (EPN) and Maine Pagan Clergy Association (MPCA). I didn't think to suggest doing a workshop, but someone who was going to do a guided meditation workshop had to cancel, so BlackLion and I got asked by the organizers to take over. And I also volunteered, as part of a three-priestess team of folks from MPCA, to co-lead the Harvest Ritual.

So, we arrived and set up our table. Then I was part of a panel discussion for new Pagans, or folks new to the area and the Pagan community here in Maine. I gave my personal story as a lifelong Pagan (though I only really knew it was called that since college, about 20 years ago), and then talked about EPN, of which I'm currently the president. I moved from that to an outdoor "classroom" to do the guided meditation workshop. BlackLion and I both talked about different types of guided meditation, trance, and shamanic journeying. Then I led five people on a guided meditation, while BlackLion drummed the heartbeat for us. We got some good feedback about the class. After that we got set up, and then I co-led the Harvest Ritual with two other experienced priestesses who are also friends of mine. There were about 30 folks there (and a dog). We all shared music, drumming, poetry, and it was a fun and magickal experience.

So I got to thinking about what I have to offer, as a spiritual being in her 40s. I drum and dance, call the directions, move energies, guide folks on journeys, speak coherently about issues other members of this alternative religion face, and share laughter and smiles. Actually, one of my favorite parts of the day was to take the basket of leftover apples, after the ritual, outside to share with the kids enjoying the playground. I love to spread love and joy and my excitement about life and the multiverse. Which, despite all I still have to learn, is really kinda cool. I offer thanks for the person I've become, and for the journey I'm on. Blessings!

Order of the Red Shopping Cart

2011-10-07T16:26:00.002-04:00

It's Friday, and the (fun but) busy week I've been having is catching up with me. I'm not stressed out, but definitely have a very full mind and life. Lists are my friend. I haven't done my "morning pages" journal writing for a couple of days (well, there's still time to do today's, but most likely in the late evening by the time I get to it).

I had a nightmare the other night, after not having had one for quite a while. It was about a huge giant of a man who was a serial killer. I called the dream "Control Freak," both because that's how he behaved, but also because that's what I think he represents for me - a part of my psyche that wants to be in control of everything, thus killing other parts of me, or at least threatening them. It's something I've been releasing for quite some time now, and with excellent results, yet those old patterns often seem most resistant just when you think you're finally done with them.

Overall, though, things are going well, and if this post seems scattered, it's just because that's where my mind is at today. Here is a sampling of some things on my list: taking kids to and from soccer, birthday plans for family members and friends (hi Libras!), getting my bangs trimmed, drum practice, packing up stuff to take to an event tomorrow, vacuuming, various writing projects all clamoring for attention, and more!

If you're curious about the title of this post, well so am I. It's the only thing I brought back from my dreams upon waking this morning. What is the Order of the Red Shopping Cart, and am I now a member? Shopping wasn't even on my to-do list! What can it mean? No time to figure it out now. Gotta go!

Co-op Love!

2011-10-06T17:19:00.000-04:00

Our family has joined a homeschool co-op. What this means is that families get together (in this case, about 80 families!) and together we offer classes, clubs, activities, and other fun things. The kids range from babes in slings to independent teenagers. So far ElvenTiger and I have been the ones exploring it, though BlackLion made his first visit to the co-op this week. A couple of the other families from the Maine Wholeschoolers have joined too, and on alternate weeks I give some of the kids a ride, while their Mom is at work.

Here's a typical day: I picked up the two kids and we drove to the co-op. We arrived and greeted friends and acquaintances, and checked out the announcements for the day. ElvenTiger went off to her basket-weaving class. BlackLion got all signed up as one of the parent volunteers (he and I are going to offer an international cooking class this winter). I joined some Moms to make a hula hoop. After we created our awesome hoops (mine is purple, green and white), we went outside to learn to use them. I admit, while both my kids are awesome hula hoopers, I've never been able to figure it out. I made some progress, though, and I think I'll get the hang of it, with practice.

Then it was lunch time. We heated up and ate our soup that we brought, and chatted with some folks while we ate. Kids of all ages ran around. We helped brainstorm some ideas for a new co-op name. A bunch of teens were having lunch together, planning the group's fall/Halloween party. BlackLion left to go take Dryst to his soccer game.

After lunch we had cooking class. We made artisan bread and homemade butter. It was fun! I stayed to clean up while the others went on to their classes. ElvenTiger has a free period then, and she went and hung out with a new friend, helping her with her knitting. I talked with some Moms who came to help clean the kitchen, and went for a walk with a new friend of my own. Then it was time to go home. It is such a fun community, and I'm thankful we joined.

While I was there, I learned about a very cool weekend experience for teens at MIT coming up later this fall. It sounds fabulous. I think I'm going to ask Dryst if he wants to go, as sort of a mother-son weekend. We don't have as many interests in common as ElvenTiger and I do, but I think this would be something we would both really enjoy, and learn from. I love this lifestyle!

Dilated

2011-10-05T11:53:00.000-04:00

No, no, silly, I'm beyond the childbearing years. I have teenagers! I'm talking about my eyes. I went to a new eye doctor today. My awesome Dad drove me, and he paid for the appointment (it was my birthday gift). So my blog today will be relatively short. I would have written it later, when my eyes don't look like those of some of the demons on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but it's Wednesday, so I'll be at homeschool group.

I guess I'll just say what's on the agenda for today: eye appointment (check!), finalizing my order for the new food co-op (yay!), laundry (now that the sun has come out), making more soup, making paper snowflakes for a project, watching a new Christine Kane video (if my eyes feel better), taking Dryst to soccer, and of course hanging out with the crew at the Maine Wholeschoolers' Wednesday meetup. Perhaps even a nap. Should be fun!

Sharing the Joy of Journals

2011-10-04T12:38:00.000-04:00

This fall, ElvenTiger and I joined a newly-formed homeschool co-op group in our area. Well, the whole family is a part of it, really, but we're the ones who have gotten involved so far. ElvenTiger's taking classes in basket-weaving and cooking, and next session will be helping teach a knitting class. She loves it.

I'm having fun too, helping with the cooking class, meeting new friends, and learning how to hula hoop. Next session I'm offering a class on journaling. I've been keeping journals since I was a kid, and doing daily journal writing since 1997. I just love it! Journaling helps me practice my writing craft, capture memories of our daily life, gain deep insights into who I am and who I'm becoming, explore my dreams, and work through my emotions. I currently keep a dream journal, a personal journal, and a Tarot journal.

It's also fun creating a class in which to share my passion for journal-keeping. I'm choosing journal entries from authors and historical figures to share (for inspiration), finding exercises to get class members writing, and gathering resources to share. Once I see how the class goes, perhaps I'll gather my favorite parts into a journaling workshop to offer to the public.

Bedtime Routine and The Between

2011-10-03T13:39:00.002-04:00

October's theme for National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) is "Between." So I thought, since I seem to have taken up the challenge of daily blogging this month, that today I'd talk about one of the ways I use the term "between."

My bedtime routine goes like this: after brushing my teeth and changing into my PJs (really just a very soft oversize t-shirt), I climb into bed. Usually the window is open, at least a crack, to provide some fresh air. I grab a book from the stack next to my bed - I always have at least two books going at once, so I see which one is calling to me at the moment. I read for a while. It might be an hour or more, or if I'm tired, just for a few minutes. It's a rare night when I don't read before sleeping. Once I'm done, I make sure my dream journal and a pen are nearby, and turn out the light.

Then comes the Between part. I settle in and nestle my cheek down on the pillow, close my eyes, and let my mind roam. When I start to see images, sort of like dreams but more ephemeral, I know that I've reached the Between space, the magickal creative place between waking consciousness and sleep. It's a bit like dreaming, but I'm still aware that I'm in my bed beginning to fall asleep. Sometimes I take part in conversations there, or travel to interesting places. The imagery is vivid and fantastical, yet somehow not as easily captured as standard dreams. I like it there in the Between. I let myself drift down into sleep like a falling autumn leaf.

Sometimes upon waking, as I emerge from my dreams, I find myself once again in the Between. Or perhaps it's the reverse, since I'm moving in a different direction - maybe I'll call it the Mirror Between. Usually when I'm waking up, my thoughts are gradually organizing themselves. I'm focused on recalling my dreams so I can write them down, on what I'm going to be doing today, on the friendly household sounds, and on the weather outside my window as I emerge into the waking world once again. The Mirror Between is like emerging from a dimly lit room into the sunshine.

I want to learn how to capture some of the insights I find in the Between space. I'm currently reading "Active Dreaming," by Robert Moss, and he talks about how lots of creative people find interesting ideas, inventions and solutions in that liminal space Between waking and sleeping. Perhaps I'll see if I can jot down some of my Between notions. The trouble with that is, I get most of them when I am falling asleep, and if I wake up enough to make notes, I'll have to start over. Wait, that might not be so bad - I'd have even more chances to visit the Between!

Homesteading Update

2011-10-02T15:09:00.001-04:00

I haven't done a homesteading-type update lately. What have we been up to? Well, we joined a wonderful homeschool co-op, and as part of it, we now have the opportunity to once again order items from a food co-op. Our first order includes miso, Bragg's Amino Acids, soy sauce, and cumin seed. I'm sure we'll be ordering some other bulk items soon, like beans, nutritional yeast, and other delicious staples. We did get a bulk order of vital wheat gluten, which we use to make seitan, from a new local health food store.

So far we've made the traditional seitan dinner (with veggie gravy, mashed potatoes, delicata squash, and brussels sprouts), but have also done a vegan stroganoff, as well as using seitan in our veggie pot pie (so it's sort of like a beef pot pie). They've all come out yummy, if I do say so myself.

This has been an amazing year for mushrooms in our neck of the woods. BlackLion wants to learn more about edible wild mushrooms. We're going to attend a mushroom foraging workshop later in the month. In the meantime, he's been taking lots of pictures. NOTE: this isn't necessarily an edible type of mushroom - it's just one that he found in our yard!

We've also been enjoying the bounty of food from our local farm. We've made several batches of fresh salsa, as well as yummy salads. And we've been sipping local cider, chomping apples, and adding some pears (local pears are tiny and adorable) to our smoothies. We didn't end up doing a very big garden this year, but we do have some potatoes to harvest soon, and then we'll plant garlic in those beds, to overwinter. I'm thankful for the bounty of this season's delightful harvest!

To Blog or Not to Blog...

2011-10-01T17:25:00.000-04:00

...daily, that is. I recently found out about NaBloPoMo, which stands for National Blog Posting Month, and the challenge is to write a blog entry every day. A couple of friends who have cool blogs have joined in, and so I'm contemplating whether I want to do the same. The rules are simple: "Post something every day for a month. That's all you have to do." And the theme for October is "Between," which sounds magickal and right up my alley. So what's a cat to do?

The pros: I've done something like this before, a couple years ago, with BlackLion, and it was fun. I already write every day, so sharing some of that with the world would be valuable, and more practice is always good. I recently read that in order to master something, you need to put in 10,000 hours. I've probably done that with journal writing, but certainly not (yet) with blogging as a specific art form. The writing prompts provided on the NaBloPoMo website look intriguing. It would get me posting more often, and probably taking photos more often, too.

The cons: Just one, really: posting EVERY day. No matter how busy I get. Eeek!

Well, I'll continue to contemplate, and keep posting. Nothing to lose! Either way I'm writing more and connecting with you, my Dear Readers!

Cake of the Month: September

2011-09-30T14:25:00.000-04:00

The cake for September was for a family potluck brunch. ElvenTiger and I made it together. We chose a recipe from an adorable cookbook, "The Redwall Cookbook" by Brian Jacques and Christopher Denise. It's based on the Redwall series, which if you haven't read them are wonderful kids' books with talking animals, spirited adventures, and of course descriptions of delicious feasts. This recipe is "Squirrelmum's Blackberry and Apple Cake." It was delicious! Perfect for brunch.

I'm so happy to be caught up on all my cake posts. What's up for October? I imagine some kind of holiday cake will be in order...perhaps with pumpkin. Also, I'm taking an adult-ed workshop on cake decorating, so I'll be posting about that experience as well. Happy Autumn!

Cake(s) of the Month: August

2011-09-30T14:16:00.000-04:00

Still doing some catch-up on posting about my cake project. August is a very big birthday month for us, so yes, there were cakes! I didn't make one for BlackLion, as he preferred to have homemade cherry chocolate-chip ice cream. It was yummy, but didn't last long enough for a photo.

Dryst wanted a lemon cake for his 15th birthday, so I was happy to oblige.

For Mom and Aunt Peg, I made a dragonfly cake as a surprise (chocolate, of course). They liked it! They shared a birthday celebration with Dryst, and I was amused that I used the kids' cake decorating book for their cake, rather than Dryst's. They're young at heart.

And our friend Nate got a chocolate bundt cake with icing (he doesn't like frosting - imagine that! I'm a bit of a frosting addict, myself).

There you have it, cakes for August! I'll add the September cake and will be all caught up, just in time for the new month.

Visited by Deer

2011-09-27T01:17:00.001-04:00

I've been gifted with a visit from deer lately. On my birthday, returning home from a celebration at my parents' house, I saw a gorgeous big buck, traveling across the road in front of us, from left to right. He was in no real hurry, and we got to see him quite well. In the past I have usually seen does, or bucks when they don't have their antlers, but he had a nice big rack of antlers that I could see clearly. I felt it was a message from the masculine Divine, the God of the Woodlands. The visit brought tears to my eyes, at the time and when describing it later. I really wanted to give him a great big hug.

Tonight, nearly two weeks later, this time on the way to my parents' house, I had the feeling I would see some sort of critter, and sure enough, there was a deer. This time she was a beautiful doe, again moving left to right (which is auspicious), and taking her time, like she'd been expecting to see me, too.

I'm grateful for these signs, and look to some of the traditional meanings these beautiful creatures bring. Deer means gentleness, innocence, sensitivity, grace, alertness, and peace. It means touching others with healing and tenderness, which makes sense given my recent focus on my own health and also my Reiki energy healing service. Deer lead us into the wilderness, and into new adventures.

Ted Andrews writes, in his book Animal Speak, "Antlers are symbols of antennae, connections to higher forms of attunement. Deer with antlers thus can be a signal to pay attention to your inner thoughts and perceptions, as they are probably more accurate than you think." Antlers are also used as protection, and thus can show us that we need to gracefully care for and protect our gentle and loving inner selves.

Deer, and particularly does, remind us of our path of spiritual growth, and ask us to be patient with ourselves along the path. In Celtic animal lore, deer are often associated with the arts, particularly poetry and music. As a writer and drummer, and with my recent focus on my arts, this makes sense. Another bit of Celtic wisdom tells how the stag would lead troops of the fae folk on a pilgrimage through the forest. What an amazing and vivid image that creates in my mind's eye! Perhaps I can draw or describe it...

The deer's list of qualities also includes abundance, which is an energy I've been working with lately. In China, the word for deer and for abundance and fortune are the same. This is something BlackLion noticed right away on my birthday, when he quipped a money pun about "the buck flowing into your life" (rather than "the buck stops here").

There are many levels of meaning, and much to explore. I have worked with deer energy a bit in the past, having met them while on a shamanic journey, and certainly plan to spend more time with them now. Thank you, Deer, for blessing me with your presence!

Cake of the Month: July

2011-09-17T22:21:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'm a bit behind on the whole cake thing. Well, not the actual making of the cakes. Just the blogging about them part.

Though I must confess, I spent more time in the water during the month of July than I did in the kitchen (especially with the oven on - it was warm!). I love summer.

I did, however, make a birthday cake for a lovely woman, on behalf of her new husband. Her favorite is chocolate cake with coconut, and that was easy to do! Since they are newlyweds, and so quite adorably in love, here's the cake I made for her.

The other cake-related thing I did in July was to order a book that I've been admiring for quite a while. It's "All Cakes Considered" by Melissa Gray from NPR (here's an Amazon link for those who like that kind of stuff). I've actually tasted one of the cakes, when a friend from MPBN (our statewide public radio network, where I used to work) made some for everyone during a fundraiser. And...yum! So now this fabulous book is in my collection, and I'm looking forward to making one of the cakes this fall sometime...if my busy schedule ever slows down enough.

Stay tuned for the August update, soon to come.

Pondering Reading

2011-09-11T22:42:00.000-04:00

Yesterday ElvenTiger tried out for her first play, "The Grinch." Along with three of her friends who tried out with her, she got a part as a Who villager. This means she'll be part of the "Whoville Chorus." Since she's even more interested in singing than acting, it's perfect for her.

I think I was more nervous than she was about the audition. She practiced a Christmas carol, as instructed - she sang "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" in a jazzy campy sort of style that she said the director liked. I was worried about her being handed part of a script to read. She still reads slowly, and I thought she might have trouble acting while reading something she hadn't seen before.

It turned out to be a non-issue. She and I practiced the page of dialogue while she was waiting her turn, and since most of it was in rhyme, she internalized it quickly (this kid has a musical soul). I didn't go in to see the audition, but she said she was easily able to perform her part, using a combination of reading and remembering what we'd already rehearsed. Very cool.

So today, I ran across this article and, as an avid reader myself, I agreed with much of it. The only part I took issue with was forcing kids to read on a schedule not their own. I do understand why that's important for a school system, which needs to standardize things for large groups of kids. But I personally prefer it when kids learn things according to their own schedule, based on their interests (thus unschooling, which works so well for us). Actually, we do and have done many of the things on the list in the article, but on the kids' own timetable.

As usually happens (I love synchronicity), another article popped up, this time on Facebook, where an online unschooling friend mentioned it. I love the way the two articles complement each other (from my perspective), even though they come from very different philosophies of education.

Then I started actively looking for essays on late readers and unschooling, and formulating the idea for this blog post. My two favorites are one by well-known author Sandra Dodd, and one from a website I'd never seen before. As a bookworm with a house full of books who has been reading to her kids since before they were born, I find the topic fascinating. And it's also quite interesting to me to observe how Dryst learned to read quite easily and fluently, and ElvenTiger, raised in the same household, is taking her time and developing her own ways of learning to read. Some would say, and I started to write, that she "struggles with" reading, but I don't think that's the case. She finds it challenging, but like many things in life, it's worth taking the time to practice, and ultimately master.

Empowered Birth: My Story

2011-09-08T12:26:00.000-04:00

This is Empowered Birth Awareness Week. I heard about it on Facebook (which is a source of many intriguing things I might not have heard about otherwise) and decided to help spread the word. What is empowered birth? Basically it's the notion that moms and families should be the ones to make decisions about how to give birth, not hospitals or doctors or other organizations. This doesn't mean rejecting the use of medical assistance for birth, but rather using it as a tool that we access when it is necessary.

Believe me, I appreciate the availability of Western medicine. My firstborn, my son, who just turned 15, was delivered by emergency c-section. When I was pregnant with him, Quester and I carefully researched all our options. We decided to give birth in the hospital, with the help of a nurse-midwife. We wanted a natural labor, without medication, and we had other ideas that we felt were helpful, such as playing music we chose, having a friend who is a massage therapist on hand, and the like. We created a birth plan and shared it with our nurse-midwife and the local hospital (we lived in central Maine at the time). Yet due to the large size of Tristan's head, and the fact that he was posterior, he got stuck. He was delivered on a Friday night, well Saturday technically, because it was 2:31am when he finally emerged into the world.

A couple years later, I became pregnant with my daughter. We were now living in southern Maine, and contacted two nurse-midwives with a respected practice in Portland. I had done more reading, and knew I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean). The nurse-midwives confirmed that the reasons for the Cesarean were particular to that situation. They also, when I told them my son's birth story, opened my eyes to becoming even more empowered. During the long labor I was having, and despite my birth plan, one of the nurses had several times offered me pain medication. At the time, I was very focused, and just said "no thanks." But when I told the story, the two nurse-midwives turned to look at each other in shock. "That's SO unethical!" one of them breathed. Offering pain drugs to a mother who's in the vulnerable space of intense labor, I could now see, was indeed not a very empowering thing to do.

These two nurse-midwives were wonderful throughout my pregnancy, and helped me deal with the emotional as well as practical notion of waiting for my daughter to be born. She was a week overdue, and they calmly reassured me that she would be born when she was ready. The birth itself, again in a hospital, was smooth and as easy as possible. I felt very supported, and was able to do much of my labor at home. My daughter too was posterior for a while, but with the support of my midwife, I relaxed about it, and my daughter turned all on her own, about an hour before she was born. When she at last emerged, I recall being surprised when they put her on my belly. "Wow, she's really here!" I felt really powerful and strong, being able to deliver her naturally after my previous experience.

Whether you decide on a hospital birth, doctors, midwives, doulas, or doing it all on your own at home, I think the key to empowered birth is making your own decisions. Do the research, listen to your intuition, check with trusted advisers, and have a backup plan. And then think about the lineage of mothers throughout the ages, trusting their bodies, giving birth as part of the natural order of our humanity. Choose what works best for you and your family, and many blessings to you!

If you want to learn more, check out this link.

Ahhh, September

2011-09-02T14:10:00.000-04:00

I love September. Even though we're unschoolers, that back-to-school vibe in the air gets me feeling creative and productive. I'm making lists and checking them twice. I'm concocting ideas for new projects even as I try to keep up with the ones I already have on my plate. I join things, and say yes to events, and follow trains of thought that I might not, at other times of the year. Part of it, I think, is that it's my birthday month, and that fills me with energy. I think we each have our own personal new year, beginning around the anniversary of our birth. My dear friend the astrologer has offered me a birthday reading, and I'm looking forward to it. I feel this will be a big year for me.

I've also started on a 30-day program of custom-designed affirmations. I'll be passing along more information later, but my mission is to listen to these audio affirmations at least three times a day for 30 days, and see how my life transforms. I'm very psyched!

So, what else is happening in our lives? Well, both kids are heavily into soccer season. Practices have been going on for a while, and ElvenTiger had her first game this week. Dryst's first game as a high school soccer player is today.

BlackLion and I went to Cape Cod this week, to drum for Dark Follies in the troupe's first out-of-state gig. We were at the Cape Cod Festival of Magic, and had a fantastic time performing and hanging out with all kinds of cool creative folks, mostly magicians. It went really well. We made some new friends, and hope to be invited back for next year's festival.

The kids are gearing up to focus on things that interest them this fall and winter: learning French, figuring out some more amateur magic tricks, diving into some new math concepts, sewing, exploring history, and of course reading. Because we're not back to any kind of official school schedule, we're also able to do stuff like this.

This weekend we're visiting OceanMouse, who's recovering from surgery, and bringing her lots of yummy goodies to eat. We'll stock up her fridge and bring her a delivery of things to do as she heals (books, DVDs, and games). Oh, and probably go swimming in the ocean near her adorable cottage home. Then we're going to come home and help a friend move. Along with laundry, writing, games, music, and all the other things we love. And hopefully some relaxing and recovering from the busy month of August.

Have a terrific weekend, and be sure to take the time to relax!

Kid Interview

2011-08-18T00:02:00.001-04:00

I borrowed this fun idea from Ordinary Life Magic, one of my favorite unschooling blogs. The idea is that your kids answer questions about you, and you get some insight into their view of you. I thought it was pretty fun, so I interviewed my two. Try it with your kids - it's a lot of fun!

Dryst, age 14 (well, 15 in just one week):

1. What is something I always say to you?
I love you.

2. What makes me happy?
Cats.

3. What makes me sad?
Arguing.

4. How do I make you laugh?
Usually by laughing yourself.

5. What was I like as a child?
Shy.

6. How old am I?
Forty...um...one? Is that right? (yep)

7. How tall am I?
Five foot one-and-a-half. (he’s very aware of this, having recently passed me!)

8. What is my favorite thing to do?
Uh, have fun, I don’t know...you enjoy a lot of things.

9. What do I do when you’re not around?
Rejoice (heh heh). That’s funny, come on!

10. If I become famous, what will it be for?
Your Feline Dreamers.

11. What am I really good at?
Um, smart things. Writing. Cooking.

12. What am I not very good at?
Sports.

13. What do I do for a job?
Feline Dreamers.

14. What is my favorite food?
Uh, Indian food?

15. What makes you proud of me?
Lots of things. How smart you are, how nice you are, everything, I don’t know!

16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
I don’t know, that’s are hard one... Wait, Velma!

17. What do you and I do together?
Uh, swimming a lot. We haven’t really done anything just the two of us for a while.

18. How are you and I the same?
We’re about the same height, we have about the same color eyes, and we’re related. Oh, and we’re both Virgos.

19. How are you and I different?
You’re a chick and I’m a dude. Um, I’m sporty, you’re intelligent.

20. How do you know I love you?
Because you’re nice and loving.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
This test is interesting. It seems like it was made for younger kids, though.

ElvenTiger, age 12:

1. What is something I always say to you?
Hmm. You say "meow!"

2. What makes me happy?
Kitties.

3. What makes me sad?
Um, arguing, and when kitties pass away.

4. How do I make you laugh?
Your smile.

5. What was I like as a child?
Quiet, and you loved to read all the time.

6. How old am I?
41.

7. How tall am I?
Five foot one-and-a-half, almost two.

8. What is my favorite thing to do?
I have to say either swimming or reading, but you love a bunch of stuff.

9. What do I do when you’re not around?
Read, be quiet.

10. If I become famous, what will it be for?
Writing.

11. What am I really good at?
Grammar - you’re an English major.

12. What am I not very good at?
All the sports, except for soccer.

13. What do I do for a job?
You write.

14. What is my favorite food?
You don’t really have a favorite food, you like all kinds of foods.

15. What makes you proud of me?
Um, well, you’re always happy, even when things are tough.

16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
This is gonna be a fun one (thinks about it). The cat on Tom and Jerry!

17. What do you and I do together?
A lot of stuff, mainly swimming, but also reading together.

18. How are you and I the same?
We both love to swim. We both don’t like fighting. We’re related. Our eyes. Oh yeah, and how much we love cats!

19. How are you and I different?
Our hair is one of the ways. I don’t know...

20. How do you know I love you?
Because of the way you smile, and just... you! I know you love me because you’re you.

Is there anything else you'd like to add?
You’re awesome!

Mermaid Goes Wandering

2011-08-13T00:06:00.000-04:00

I've found myself wandering, as Rob Brezsny tells me, in exile this past few weeks. Not a permanent exile, but definitely a place outside the comfort zone. When I'm feeling positive about it, I think of it as the wilds of the imagination. Wandering in exile tends to conjure a mental picture of an emaciated fellow trudging through the desert. However, my personal form of exile is more like being a mermaid swimming in the far reaches of the deepest emotional seas.

As I wrote in my journal, "swimming and floating, never touching the bottom. Sometimes it's stormy, sometimes quite calm. Can it be called wandering if you're swimming? Well, why not?"

It's not quite time to come back to the mainland, for there are still lessons to be learned. Yet I have found some new allies, and alerted some longtime friends, and they have sent me messages in bottles and texts on my shell-phone, so I know I'm not entirely alone. I expect that I'll return with new thoughts, ideas, and ponderings to share. Stay tuned, dear readers, and perhaps I'll swim back with some pearls for you.

My Favorite Movies

2011-08-02T23:00:00.001-04:00

For as long as I can remember, when asked what my favorite movie is, my answer has been The Princess Bride. And then the Lord of the Rings movies came out, and as a fan of the books, I truly loved them and thought they did a fabulous job. Well, now the Harry Potter series of movies is complete, and we just saw the final one tonight. And now they are right up at the top of the list. Wow!

Seventeen of us, the core members of our Maine Wholeschoolers group, filed into the movie theater ten days ago, ready to watch the final installment. We had our 3D glasses, popcorn, and candy, and we were ready! But before we even got to the previews, the electricity went out in the theater. Yikes! We waited a while, but the theater staff came back and said that they were canceling that showing, and we'd have to come back. Right. Just try and get 17 people from four busy families to all come back at the same time.

Well, time passed, but we did it! And the movie was just so fabulous. Yes, I cried. I also laughed a lot. We spontaneously cheered when Bellatrix LeStrange met her well-deserved end...even though we loved how Helena Bonham Carter played her to the hilt. I had goosebumps several times throughout the movie. They just captured it so very well! And yes, I absolutely love the books.

My favorite characters are all women: Hermione, of course. As a fellow bookworm, I can relate, and I love how she grows into such a powerful witch. Luna Lovegood, oh yes, I also identify with her. I was just reading about the actress who played her, Evanna Lynch, and a quote about how the other actresses who tried out for the part could certainly play Luna, but Evanna IS Luna. So true! And of course, Professor Minerva McGonagall. I adore Dame Maggie Smith anyway, and she turns into a cat, for heaven's sake! Perfect!

Well, that is all for now. I freely admit that my first words after the end of the movie were "again! again!" And I might just have to do that.

First Harvest

2011-08-01T14:56:00.001-04:00

Happy Lammas everyone! No, not llamas, although they are pretty cool. Lammas is the Pagan celebration of the First Harvest. Abundant early crops like wheat and corn are featured in the celebration - so homemade bread and corn on the cob, along with tomato dishes featuring fresh herbs like basil and cilantro, are often included in the feast. A friend of ours has an overabundance of zucchini to share, so our own celebrations this week will have grill-roasted zucchini as part of the menu. Yum!

Along with the literal harvest, we can also give thanks for that which we're harvesting in our lives. The projects that we conceived of in Winter and planted as seeds this Spring are now, perhaps, coming to fruition. They may not yet be complete, but hopefully we can see the energies coming together. It's time to patiently continue to nurture them as they grow. Not everything we've planted will thrive, so there may be things to let go, too.

I'm tending to some cherished creative projects that are still coming together. One big project that I thought I'd given up on has rallied and is progressing well, and I'm in the midst of writing several articles that I can visualize being completed in the next couple of months. I'm letting go of my expectations in other areas, and seeking some new options for financial abundance. What is your First Harvest? Are there things you're ready to let go? Are there others you will continue to tend carefully?

Blessings of Lammas to you! May your gardens thrive and bring you a bountiful harvest!

So Busy, and It's Not Even August Yet!

2011-07-28T13:28:00.000-04:00

Summer is one of our busiest times, as a family. I've told folks for years that to try and schedule things in August is challenging, because there's already so much going on - lots of birthdays, the Maine Highland Games, our family reunion, and the start of soccer season, just to name a few. It's my busiest month. Well, we're not even into August yet, and we've been super busy! Today is the first day in a while when I've had time to post, and to really catch up with my online reading and networking.

Some of our recent summer adventures have included: hosting a Red Temple gathering, volunteering with my Mom and ElvenTiger at a local museum, role-playing game sessions, a fun day at the waterpark with the kids' Aunt Molly, seeing our friends in the play Narnia, celebrating a dear friend's 40th birthday (which included an awesome massive water fight with a posse of kids on one of the hottest days), a lake party with unschoolers, fundraising on the air for my public radio station, lots of swimming, hanging out with friends, and family potlucks. Oh my!

I apologize for not having pictures to post. I still need to get a battery for my camera. We've been relying on others' photos, and just living in the moment and enjoying what we're doing.

I'm also looking for some paid work to supplement our income. This is both a disappointment and kind of a fun process. Fun because I'm networking and exploring in order to find something that fits my quirky self, my needs for a flexible schedule, and my unusual skill set. Disappointing because I still haven't (yet) been able to create my right livelihood, a way to use my creativity to help support my family. However, it's an interesting process of discovery, because I'm feeling like a lot of the information I'm searching through is leading me back to those same creative talents that feed my calling. I'll let you know how it goes...when I have a moment!

Dreamwork Transformation

2011-07-19T15:13:00.000-04:00

The past few nights I've been doing some more new dreamwork as I sleep. Not like a dream in the conventional sense, but more like the dream healing I was doing last fall, which I wrote about here. This recent dreamwork is difficult to explain in words, but I'm going to try.

Oddly enough, it centers around part of the song "Kandi" by One Eskimo, a sort of bridge or chorus that was actually originally part of an older song, though I'm not sure of the history. The part I'm talking about goes "he called me baby, baby, all night long." I heard the song on The World Cafe on Saturday night, and since then it's been woven through my sleep.

As I rise up toward the surface, between deep sleep and dreaming, I hear that part of the song playing. And it feels like a spell or type of magick, and the word that comes up about it is "transformation." When the song-spell plays, I go through the process of transforming something within me...energy? old patterns? I'm not sure what it is, or how to describe it. It's a deep feeling, and it seems like a positive thing when it is happening. Last night I remember noting the fact that I was doing the "spell" backwards. The music was still playing as usual, but somehow it seemed like I had learned to reverse something, and that too was a good thing.

Sorry to be so vague, but I wanted to try and capture it here. The reason I recalled it was that I didn't remember any traditional dreams this morning, so when I was thinking about dreams, this is what popped into my memory. Don't look so puzzled - you already knew I was strange!

Cake(s) of the Month: June

2011-07-16T16:28:00.000-04:00

I'm way behind in posting about it, but don't worry, June was full of cakes! And I think I got pictures of most of them.

This cake was made, believe it or not, to use up the extra frosting from the past couple of cakes. I mean, otherwise it just sits around in the fridge feeling sorry for itself. And despite the yumminess factor, no one seems to want to eat frosting by itself. So I made a square 9-inch One-Egg Chocolate Cake, a recipe from my great-grandmother, Nana Drew.

Thanks to the wonderful response I received to a cake I made for a friend's birthday dinner party in late May (chocolate maple, and delicious if I do say so), I might have even gotten a couple of special orders for cakes! Which is a totally new thing. Here are some photos...

And finally, since it was my namesake Starhawk's 60th birthday on June 17th, I made some pentacle cupcakes, also using up some of the previously-made frosting (as you can tell by the powdered sugar on a few of them). Not that I know Starhawk personally or anything, but the folks at the Fireside Gathering that night loved them!

Let me know if you're local to southern Maine and need a cake for a special occasion!

Monday's Doings

2011-07-11T19:25:00.002-04:00

It's been a pretty mellow day here today. It's been nice hot sunny summer weather, and the fans are going. Laundry, kitchen cleaning, and grocery shopping, along with doing some work on our business, Feline Dreamers. Lots of hangout time and conversation. BlackLion, ElvenTiger, and I took a lovely bike ride just a while ago, once the sun wasn't quite as intense.

Our late dinner is veggie burgers and potato salad; we were all too hot to be hungry earlier. We're using the last of BlackLion's sesame rolls to put the burgers (Morningstar Farms Grillers, Dryst's favorites) in, along with fresh greens, red onions, and tomatoes. I'll have to write out the recipe again for our Two Cats Potato Salad (made by us cats, not of cats!) - we lost the recipe when our external hard drive crashed, but I've been making it from memory.

Tonight there will probably be some Netflix watching on the agenda - Buffy and Angel, most likely. We're on seasons 5 and 2, respectively. I love those shows! It's nice to have a quiet start to the week.

Down to Earth Homemaking

2011-07-10T19:23:00.001-04:00

Today I hosted a small gathering at my home, sort of an afternoon tea for women in the Red Temple group of Pagan women. I had set a batch of herbal sun tea out on the picnic table this morning to steep (Indian Spice flavor). I washed and hung out two loads of laundry, and BlackLion and I tidied up the house. I put a batch of strawberry-orange muffins in the oven just before the meeting, and set out plates and cups. Along with the muffins, I served homemade strawberry jam that a friend had given me, Cabot butter, and some homemade salsa with white corn chips. There was also local honey for the iced tea. One of my friends brought along some banana-walnut muffins she'd made.

During the meeting, as I went to the stove to check on the black beans I was boiling up for dinner, another friend asked about how I managed to cook beans from scratch without them ending up mushy. I told her about my methods for cooking beans, and then I had a little mini-realization - I should blog about my experiences as a homemaker and how I do things.

I haven't wanted to put myself in a category, such as locavore or vegan, because I really don't fit fully into any particular box. We are vegetarians, and we do eat dairy and (local) eggs, but we also eat a lot of vegan foods. We like to buy local veggies, but we don't focus solely on that. We enjoy organic food when it's possible, but sometimes it's too expensive for us. See what I mean? Purists from any of those categories would look askance at me.

But I suspect there are more families like mine, and some who would want to get tips and hints on how to do what we're doing. Our intentions are to eat healthy foods, make a lot of things from scratch, choose local and organic foods when we can, be kind to the environment, and keep to our budget. The things that, to me, are just part of our lives now, such as cooking with all kinds of dried legumes, making up our own recipes, and making more things on our own (like salad dressing, bread, and mustard), might be a new interest or goal for someone else. I guess I shouldn't assume that just because I'm not doing everything from scratch (yet?) that I don't have valuable information and wisdom to share. I don't have to be "finished" a process to share about how it's going. A revelation! Heh heh.

So, along the lines of one of the blogs I like to read, A Handmade Life, here are some photos of this weekend's projects.

BlackLion made these sesame bulkie rolls for Friday night's dinner, which was homemade falafel patties, kale salad, and oven fries.

These are the strawberry-orange muffins, adapted from my Mom's orange muffin recipe.

Indian Spice herbal sun tea. Some of us had it plain over ice, while others added honey. Mmmm!

Our family's semi-famous homemade salsa, a regular dish for us. This batch was made by Quester and I, with some help from the hungry and impatient kids.

Two loads of laundry today, plus the swim towels from the jaunt to the lake that BlackLion and the kids took during my afternoon gathering.

And just for fun, some roses from Quester's flower garden. These are "my" mini yellow roses - the original bush was a gift from my Mom. Quester has nurtured them along, though.

And finally, a red rose that Quester rescued from a friend's rose garden. It was small, but is doing well here.

Please comment with your feedback! Let me know if you'd like to hear more about this aspect of my family's life.

P.S. I forgot to mention (or photograph) the Cherry Chocolate Chip ice cream that I made (my own recipe). My friend said it tasted like Cherry Garcia, and BlackLion said it's the best he's ever had (and that's his favorite flavor). Wow!

Getting Fit

2011-07-08T17:03:00.001-04:00

I've written about wanting to lose weight before, and my intuitive knowledge that, for me, it's more about the mindset than the practical aspects. I've been continuing my study and practice of mindfulness and presence recently, and that's helped me feel ready to move forward in getting more fit.

Part of my struggle, as I've written in the past (and I've actually gained quite a bit of weight since writing my post on Lightening Up), is with stress. And specifically, with the stress associated with poverty and financial insecurity. The presence practice is helping me with that, so recently I've felt ready to move forward. I've been doing yoga regularly (on my own, at home, an average of three times a week) since late March. We had a rainy spring, so I wasn't active as much as I'd hoped.

Now it's summer. Since our money struggles mean we can't afford a vacation, I decided that since we live in Vacationland already, we'd spend our summer doing fun things that don't cost (much or any) money. And lots of them help with fitness, as well. This last week we've been swimming several times (in ponds, the river, and the ocean), taken walks, picked strawberries, and gone bike riding. It's fun, the weather has been great, and I feel much better about my body.

Last month I overcame my fears that I don't look good enough to wear a swimsuit - well, my absolute love of swimming helped with that one. BlackLion and I just added push-ups to our daily sit-ups routine. Of course, I'm only doing five push-ups, and those are modified, but it's a start. We've been doing 100 crunch-style sit-ups every day for over a year, and those were a struggle at first but they're now second nature.

Now I just need to maintain my momentum. And that's a matter of practice. I haven't even been looking at the scale - that's not my priority at the moment. The main thing is just to move, to play, to feel good in my body. To improve my fitness on all levels - physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Course of Study

2011-06-29T23:03:00.000-04:00

I'm doing an impromptu course of study, mostly of Buddhism but also other systems of examining the mind and emotions. I've mentioned here how I enjoy reading epic fantasy and other types of fiction. But I usually also have some kind of non-fiction, usually spiritual, book going as well. The last three that I've read have had a huge impact on my life and spiritual journey. They offer philosophy that resonates with me, backed up with super-useful practical tools to use in my daily life.

BlackLion has joined me in this latest venture, perhaps because it's spontaneous rather than planned. He says it's helping him a lot with his grieving process. Tonight I announced with a smile that the next book in our study is the one I'm reading now (by Jack Kornfield), and held it up. Quester looked a bit confused, and asked who we were doing the spiritual book club with, and I laughed and explained that it wasn't really a book club, just serendipity.

Here is the book list thus far, in case you're curious. I recommend all three of them highly!

"A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" by Eckhart Tolle
"Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears" by Pema Chodron
"The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology" by Jack Kornfield

Cats Will Always Cheer Me Up

2011-06-28T20:30:00.001-04:00

Those Who Are Left Behind

2011-06-27T13:35:00.000-04:00

Death comes in many ways.
Sudden as a hawk
Swooping down.
Long and painful,
A drawn-out parting.
Or soft and gentle
As the tide ebbing out.

Those who are left behind
To puzzle things out
Are never ready.
Not ready to say goodbye,
Even if we keep faith
That we'll be reunited.
Yes, even then.

We wish one more day,
An hour, a moment,
With our beloved one.
We want to see them smile,
Just one more time,
Or ten, or twenty-three,
And to give them our best blessings.

Getting the Word Out

2011-06-26T11:00:00.000-04:00

I'm a writer. I write mostly non-fiction articles, essays, and books on spirituality and learning to live consciously. And that's how I want to earn a living, or at least contribute to my family's financial needs. It sounds simple, huh? I even have confidence in my art. I've been practicing for a long time, I have interesting things to say, and I think that lots of people would like to read what I write.

The thing is, how do I get the word out? The traditional "submit to a literary agent or publisher" route is one of my avenues, certainly, although it's well known for only being rarely accessible, and the online world has changed everything. For our Feline Dreamers business, BlackLion and I are trying various social networking, viral marketing type ventures, but we don't really know much about marketing, so we're mostly feeling around in the dark. We'd like to increase our audience from the low hundreds to, oh, millions, ideally! Most of the "write online articles for money" gigs that I've found are only interested in topics I either know nothing about or sound deadly boring. That's a sure way to kill creativity.

Just recently, I've had two magazines interested in having me write an article for them. Not huge magazines, but respectable and hip. So that's the next step. After mulling ideas over in my head (always my first step), I'm in the process of sitting down to create the first drafts. This could lead to something big! It's another step towards my writing goals. What am I afraid of?

300th Post!

2011-06-25T11:35:00.001-04:00

Welcome to the 300th post on this blog! I started with the first post back in January of 2006. My thanks to JWL for helping me set it up, and for hosting it on the Freakwitch website for the first few years. I enjoy blogging, and having a place like this to share my personal musings and our family's adventures is a lot of fun. I've discovered summer is a bit of a busy time to keep up with a blog challenge, but I'm going to do my best to blog frequently anyway.

So, what's up today? We had some weekend plans, but for various reasons they were postponed. I was disappointed at first, but the book I'm reading has helped me just be present with what is. It's a fabulous book, "Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears" by Pema Chodron. I highly recommend it, and for those of you who don't have much reading time, it's only 100 pages long, so go for it! I've been doing some introspection this week, and feeling the beginnings of a new transformation at this turn of the seasons. This blog entry by T. Thorne Coyle asks some of the questions I've been asking myself lately.

Our new e-mail list, Making Your Life a Masterpiece, has already taken off and is blossoming. Please join us if you're inspired to explore spirituality in a fun online community. Not much else to tell, I guess. We enjoyed some strawberry picking this week, as part of our celebration of the Summer Solstice, and I think today we're going to make some strawberry gelato. Thanks for reading my blog! I hope you find it enjoyable! Have a fun and interesting weekend, all.

Summer Arrives With a Fanfare of Clouds and Sunshine

2011-06-21T06:43:00.001-04:00

Every Winter Solstice, for many years now, I stay up all night and greet the Sun at dawn. This has become a tradition for us on the longest night of the year. This year, BlackLion and I decided to stay awake all day on the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. I'm a confirmed night owl, so sunrise isn't something I see very often. And when I do, I'm usually hustling off to do something else, like getting to the radio station in time to fund-raise during Morning Edition. So this was a special treat.

Merlin cat obliged me by waking me up at 4:30am. Apparently he and his brother also had plans to greet the emerging day. Out they went. Star-dog and I sat in the living room and enjoyed the birds' songs and watched pink clouds through the windows. When BlackLion joined us, we went outside to the circle of oaks and soaked up the experience of dawn.

The clouds paraded by, their tops lit by the rising sun. The cats followed us, curious what we were up to. We could see the moon, high in the sky. The birds continued their serenade to the waking earth. A squirrel passed by, way up in the trees. We greeted the Summer in our own quiet way, and it was lovely.

Ideas for today, once the kids are up: strawberry picking, swimming, a picnic, and perhaps even a fire, later, when we begin to wind down with the longest day. Happy Summer Solstice!

Making Your Life a Masterpiece

2011-06-16T12:31:00.000-04:00

BlackLion and I have just started a new Yahoo group and would like to invite you to check it out and join us if you wish. We wanted to create a place for people who are walking their own spiritual paths but are looking for community and support.

"Making Your Life A Masterpiece" is a place for those of us who are following our own unique joyful spiritual paths. Living consciously is a creative journey. You are the artist, and life is your palette!

The vision for this new community: We share our thoughts, ideas, tools, quotes, and other resources. We give and receive feedback on our day-to-day challenges and triumphs. We help inspire each other to new heights. We create space to unite our strengths and work together on projects. We help each other brainstorm new ideas and creations. We share our energies, and have lots of fun in the process! Everyone has something to offer.

Come on in and join the party! Live the life you’ve intended for yourself and your loved ones, while celebrating with friends in a spiritual community that values reverence and mirth. Let's create!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/makingyourlifeamasterpiece

Why I Love Facebook

2011-06-13T14:41:00.000-04:00

Facebook has become an extremely popular social networking tool - which in itself is a fairly new phrase to describe relating to other people online. Yet despite the large number of people using it, I hear a lot of complaints about Facebook, too. Some people are afraid that their personal information will be stolen or co-opted for some nefarious purpose. Others find it to be a "time-waster," or complain about how other people use it.

I have to admit that I actually love using Facebook. Why? Well, the main reason is that I like to keep in touch with friends and acquaintances without having to use the phone. I really don't like phones much, and never have. I'm a writer, so it makes sense that I'd prefer the written world of e-mail and even (gasp!) snail-mail letters (yes, I do have two or three people I correspond with using pens, stationery, and stamps). Facebook seems to be a mutually convenient way to keep in touch, even for those who aren't drawn to long written communications. And photos are fairly easy to post, thus allowing us to share glimpses into each others' daily lives.

Also, because I own my own business, which I'm trying to expand, Facebook is a great way to network. I can post blogs, send out meaningful quotes, and let folks know what's going on. And if they're not interested, they can just breeze right by it, without having to delete stuff like they would an e-mail.

Facebook has also sparked my creativity, many times. I have a diverse group of friends, and often they'll say something or share a quote that I might not have run across otherwise. It helps inspire me with new ideas and send my thoughts off in previously unknown directions. Photos, links, videos...and all for free, and collected in one easy place. I'm not one for surfing randomly around the web, but this way I can still discover lots of cool things pretty easily.

And finally, I can connect with people all around the country and the world who share my interests. Some of the things that I love just aren't part of the mainstream, like unschooling, vegetarianism, and Pagan spirituality. But I can find plenty of others to talk with about those passions, and make connections that I can follow up on later with a face-to-face meeting. It's a lot of fun! Come on over and befriend me if you like - my Facebook name is Nikki Shields, and I'm from Maine. You can also find me through our Feline Dreamers page on Facebook. Chat with you later!

One Word

2011-06-12T21:26:00.000-04:00

I saw this on Zenmomma's blog and wanted to play, too. Having a mellow rainy evening here. Skip-Bo, nachos, and e-town on the radio.

Yourself: chillin'
Your partner: loving
Your hair: longish
Your mother: amazing
Your father: funny
Your favorite item: journal
Your dream last night: flowery
Your favorite drink: water
Your dream car: hybrid
Your dream home: larger
The room you are in: dining
Your ex: who?
Your fear: loss
Where you want to be in ten years: happy
Who you hung out with last night: family
What you're not: done
Muffins: raspberry
One of your wish list items: money
Time: plenty
The last thing you did: read
What you are wearing: sweater
Your favorite weather: sunny
Your favorite book: many
Last thing you ate: nachos
Your life: good
Your mood: relaxed
Your Best Friends: awesome
What are you thinking about right now: writing
Your car: Subaru
What are you doing at the moment: thinking
Your summer: grateful
Relationship status: complicated
What is on your tv: WoW
What is the weather like: misty
When is the last time you laughed: earlier

The Sixties Reborn

2011-06-12T21:03:00.002-04:00

“When in the flow of human events it becomes necessary for the people to cease to recognize the obsolete social patterns which had isolated man from his consciousness and to create with the youthful energies of the world revolutionary communities to which the two-billion-year-old life process entitles them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind should declare the causes which impel them to this creation.

“We hold these experiences to be self-evident, that all is equal, that the creation endows us with certain inalienable rights, that among these are: the freedom of the body, the pursuit of joy, and the expansion of consciousness, and that to secure these rights, we the citizens of the earth declare our love and compassion for all conflicting hate-carrying men and women of the world.” – The editors of the San Francisco Oracle, 1966

Proving the Rule

2011-06-06T14:45:00.001-04:00

Well, they say the exception proves the rule. I guess if my blogging challenge was a rule, then the past week was the exception! I was so busy over the past couple of weeks that blogging wasn't the only thing that fell by the wayside. My yoga practice suffered, as did my daily journal writing. And it's just today that we've reclaimed the house from its somewhat, er, messy state.

Luckily, we now have a working camera, so we can share a couple of photos with you. The most exciting thing we've been involved with was the handfasting and wedding of a lovely couple who are dear friends of ours. I don't want to share any photos of other folks without their permission, but here are a couple with only my family appearing in them.

I called Water in the handfasting ritual, and ElvenTiger was my helper. Note the matching outfits! We're standing in the West, and you can see an example of the pretty dyed silk ribbons that decorated all the quarters of the circle. We helped dye the ribbons for Earth.

And here we are playing the drums for the procession. This photo shows us as we're about to exit the circle. From left to right, that's ElvenTiger, Quester, myself, and BlackLion.

We had such a marvelous time! It was a great joy to be able to share in the celebration of such a magickal and beloved couple. I'll write more later, but just wanted to say hello and share a glimpse of what I've been up to. I hope you're having fun, too!

New Moon in June

2011-06-01T13:39:00.001-04:00

Happy New Moon, and month of June! Around here, the weather has been just lovely this week, after a bunch of rain. We have some fun gatherings to attend (and host) this month. The first one is coming up this weekend, which is the wedding of a very special couple. I'm delighted and honored to be participating in the ceremony. I'm calling Water, but I'll be careful not to ask for rain, since the handfasting portion of the day is being held outside.

The new moon brings the energy of new beginnings and exploration. According to Starsdance Astrology's blog, this particular new moon is a good time to explore one's deepest desires. And according to my Rob Brezsny horoscope, the coming weeks are a perfect time for me to do things which I've been told just can't be done. Which is what? It's quite obvious, in my case - I've been told repeatedly that I can't make a living as a writer, and I had the misfortune of believing it. I guess I'll be focused on submitting more of my writings this month. I'm trying various avenues: looking for a literary agent, sending letters directly to publishers, and submitting articles to magazines. Time to ramp it up!

Hope is easier to find at this time of year, and as the moon waxes. I'll polish off my finest literary gems and share them with the world, as well as carefully cutting some new ones. In between, of course, gardening workshops, a big anniversary, family potlucks, a milestone birthday celebration for an old friend, and a fireside gathering or two. Summer's here! Who wants to play?

P.S. Here's a little more inspiration, for the road. Enjoy!

What the Cats Do...

2011-05-31T19:18:00.000-04:00

....when it's too hot to sleep inside.

Looks like the summer has arrived!

Smoothies Are Back!

2011-05-29T22:13:00.000-04:00

Our broken blender was replaced today, hurrah! Smoothies are back! Smoothies are my favorite breakfast food. I've never been much for cereal and I only eat eggs occasionally, but my body says "yum!" to smoothie nearly every time. Many thanks to ElvenTiger and Quester for the gift of a new blender! It was my Mother's Day present from them, and today was the day I turned in the "100% off coupon" ElvenTiger made me.

In honor of the occasion, here's a family favorite combination:

1 peach, pit removed
1 clementine, peel removed
1 apple, quartered
1 cup or so of cold water
1 or 2 frozen bananas
1/2 cup frozen strawberries

Start with your fresh fruit and water. Blend. Then gradually add the frozen fruit until the smoothie is at desired thickness. Drink! Enjoy!

Ah, Peaceful Saturday

2011-05-28T19:47:00.000-04:00

Quester makes yummy veggie pizza. And it's even better when eaten while listening to A Prairie Home Companion. And even better than that when followed by his delicious chocolate chip cookies. Perhaps there will even be Skip-Bo, once ElvenTiger returns from her bike ride.

My day of relaxation has been great. Of course, as a Mom, it included cleaning the kitchen a couple of times, and doing some laundry. But there was also yoga, and reading, and a leisurely walk. We spent some time with some kitty friends whose human companion is away for the weekend. Quester and BlackLion mowed the lawn - yup, both riding around on Aunt Peg's mowers, cutting the time in half.

Quester and ElvenTiger helped my parents with some painting, earlier in the day. Dryst has been feeling sick, so he's taking it easy and healing. The kids get sick so rarely (knock on wood) that it's really strange when they do. But he's better today than yesterday. I knew he was really under the weather when he decided not to go to his lacrosse game last night.

Not much else is going on around here, and right now that's the way we like it. Purr purr purr...

Nurturing Community

2011-05-27T23:40:00.001-04:00

I've had a busier-than-normal week, and it's mostly involved socializing. Or another way of looking at it is nurturing the community. I'm blessed with a very diverse group of friends and acquaintances. Quite a few are unschoolers and Pagans (or, in some cases, both), some are friends I've had for a long time, others are fairly new, a few are former work colleagues, and some defy categorization. And I have a wonderful community of extended family, too!

On Wednesday we had our usual homeschool group gathering, but due to illness and one member's new baby (yay!) it was smaller than usual. We moved the party from the usual farmhouse to a different family's farm. We got to meet their new baby chicks, and see what's going on in the garden. We helped cheer up a Mom who was feeling low, too. We brought her chili, casserole, and belated birthday gifts.

After that, BlackLion and I went out for a night on the town (a fairly rare occurrence) with some former colleagues of mine. It was like our own personal pub crawl. I had a lot of fun! I'm not normally much of a drinker, but I enjoyed some spirits with a very spirited group of folks. There was much merriment and even hilarity.

Thursday found us hosting the monthly role-playing game that we're involved with, based on the TV series Supernatural. We made baked potatoes and set up a "potato bar" with lots of different toppings. The game session was a whole lot of fun. I have to say, I think it was one of the best sessions yet! That night, the kids had a couple of overnight guests. These cool kids, who are part of our homeschool group, are welcome anytime. The adults of our family also went out briefly, to hear Quester sing at the open mic night down the street. Rock on!

And tonight, we attended a birthday dinner for a dear magickal friend, with our entire Elements Study Group. I made a cake (photos to come, dear cake lovers) which was received with much adoration. The food was yummy, and the companionship even more delicious.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with a busy week like this, and less than my usual time for creativity and contemplation. But this time, I'm celebrating the diverse and delightful community around me. And I'm also thankful that I have this weekend to rest up and recharge. Blessings, friends!

Nurturing and Practice

2011-05-25T14:32:00.000-04:00

This week I got the same Tarot card two days in a row, which is usually a signal to pay extra attention. It was the 3 of discs, which in the Voyager deck I'm using currently is the 3 of worlds - nurturing. This deck often branches out from traditional Tarot definitions, and has its own delightful web of meanings and images.

The first day I got the card, I sort of went along with their theme, and took in the information and wisdom of nurturing. I took it to mean not only self-nurturing, but also the careful balanced nurturing of a project. Like a garden - there is a certain amount of nurturing necessary, and then you just need to step back and let it grow. Or the nurturing energies of motherhood, as with the Empress card, which this card is connected to in this deck.

When the card showed up again the next day, I searched my memory for the more familiar meanings of the 3 of discs. I've experienced it in the past as skills, ones that are being put to regular use. In other words, practice. I looked to the things I do as a spiritual practice, like writing and meditation, and the things I might not think of as a practice but are skills I use a lot, like cooking and doing dishes.

Then it was time to connect the two. I got thinking about what nurturing and practice have in common. Hopefully, I am nurtured through my spiritual practices. Also, self-nurturing itself can be a wonderful spiritual practice. Sometimes, though, I can go through times when I'm doing my practices, but I'm still not being very kind to myself. I'm not feeling nurtured on a deep level. When this happens, one way to get back to feeling nurtured is to practice simply BEING. To slow down and notice the present moment. Over and over again. When that happens, my connection to my source grows stronger. And then my life, like a garden, receives the nurturing it needs to grow and thrive.

Feeding the Hordes

2011-05-23T20:21:00.000-04:00

I just finished the dinner dishes, wiped the counters, and then got out the ingredients to make a couple of snacks. Nope, I'm not hungry...but you can bet my teen son and preteen daughter will be, given a couple of minutes! So I put together some guacamole and an herb dip to toss to the ravening hordes when they appear.

That's what it feels like sometimes with growing young adults around the house. Sure, toddlers and little kids can go into growth spurts where they eat quite a bit. But those times are interspersed with lulls when they hardly seem to eat at all. I'd been warned about the appetite of a teenage boy, but you really have to witness it to believe it.

Well, today was a good day for cooking, anyway. It was cool, damp, and drizzly once again. BlackLion and I made some spaghetti sauce for dinner, putting it on to simmer in the mid-afternoon. Then we finished processing the big bundle of chives we'd harvested from the garden. We cleaned them, chopped them up into little bits, froze them on a cookie sheet (so they don't clump together as they freeze), then transferred them to labeled freezer bags. We got quite a good crop, with much more to come. BlackLion also made two loaves of banana bread, some to share with his gamer friends and some to eat at home.

This morning we made our meal plan for the week, and did the requisite grocery shopping. Tonight we had the pasta and tomato sauce, tomorrow night we're having minestrone soup and homemade English muffins at my parents' house, we're bringing vegetarian chili to homeschool group this Wednesday, and Friday will be homemade pizza for Quester and the kids. On Thursday, we're hosting a role-playing game here, and we're going to have a baked potato bar. The toppings we'll have on hand for the baked russet potatoes: leftover chili, broccoli and cheddar cheese, chives (from the garden) and sour cream, and butter. We also have the makings for salads, sandwiches, and snacks on hand. Not to mention some leftover curry from last night. Hopefully that will satisfy the hordes of hungry adolescents we hang out with!

Day in the Life of Starcat

2011-05-22T23:23:00.002-04:00

Rather unoriginal, I know, but I haven't been all that inspired with other topics. I got up early (for me) and got ready for the day. That includes doing daily practice, which for today was journal writing, Tarot card draw, sit-ups, and dream sharing. Most days I also meditate, but there wasn't time this morning.

A friend picked me up and we went to the Interfaith Walk for Habitat for Humanity, stopping to get the cake and some paper plates along the way. I was volunteering today, not walking. I'd told my friend, who was one of the organizers, that I'd do whatever she needed. We helped set up for the event, which included tables for registration, lunch for the walkers, and a blessing ceremony. My main task for the morning was to inflate balloons! And then I cut up and served the cake. Very fae tasks, and right up my alley!

I also got to see another friend, and her baby daughter, who came with her to volunteer. Her sweet baby was the hit of the gathering! She's so adorable. My favorite part of the event is always the blessing, though. I just love to see a Pagan priestess up there with the rabbi and pastors and priests. Pagans have been involved with Habitat's interfaith building projects and fund-raising events in our area for years, and it has earned us a lot of respect from the religious community. That's awesome! We've also become known as the ones who stay until the end and pitch in to clean up. I'm thankful for all the hard work so many Pagan folks have put in over the years (this is only my second year of helping out). Next year, I think I'll do the walk as well as helping set up and clean up.

When I got home, I took some time to chill out, chat with the family, and read my book. BlackLion and ElvenTiger were mixing up the dough to make naan. Quester and Dryst were off working for the afternoon. We listened to Radio Paradise, and the DJ was totally on a roll - my favorite set being Pink Floyd's "Time" followed by Beethoven's Fifth Symphony followed by the Beatles' "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." It worked.

I cleaned up the kitchen, and then BlackLion and I made vegetable curry, basmati rice, and raita (cucumber yogurt sauce), and baked up the garlic-chive naan. When Quester and Dryst got back, we all had a yummy Indian food dinner. We hung out for a while, and then played a couple of games of Skip-Bo. Quester has gone off to bed, and I'm soon to join him, book in hand. The kids are mock wrestling in the living room. Both cats have just come in. Star is eating her dinner. BlackLion is ready to use the laptop once I'm finished. And that, dear readers, is a day in the life of Starcat. I hope you found it worth reading. Meow!